Architects of Fate
by mystic2182
Summary: all are architects of fate working in these walls of time...
1. Prologue

Prologue

She could feel it.

Surrounding her. Choking her. Pulling at her. She fought back, fought against the gray that threatened to envelope her, envelope everything she had once dreamed of.

It was too much.

She struggled, her arms flailing for any kind of leverage, anything to save her, save her life.

Save them.

But it was too strong.

It fought harder, longer, and though she beat at it with her bare hands, felt it strong and sturdy around her, she clawed still. She was fighting for them, for herself, for everything she had every wanted, yet it mocked her. Pushed her aside. Left her alone.

Weak.

She didn't know if she could continue to fight. It was mocking her, keeping her down, keeping her still, and yet, in the shadows, a ray of light burst through, its edges tinted in blues and purples, her eyes struggling to see against the light, to fight through the darkness, as she battled for control.

She could not give up. This was her fate. Her destiny. And she fought for what she wanted. She grappled for leverage, for any sort of help, and she felt him, felt his hand warm and solid grab hers, link with hers. She didn't have to turn, didn't need to look up at the face she had loved since she was sixteen, to see the man who represented all she loved in life.

She didn't have to look, for she had already memorized, she knew each line and curve of his handsome face, the dark cobalt blue of his eyes, the strong, lean set of his chest.

She felt the strength build inside her, even as the gray threatened to surround, smother, destroy. But the light blinked solidly, and she could see him, his body tall beside hers, and she knew. She felt his body pulse beneath hers, the warmth of his hand soothing against the cold that had taken her over.

She knew.

She was not alone. They were together. A common link. It was all that was needed to survive. And even as the gray beat around them, they stood strong, their hands, their hearts linked.

And they loved.

They were the architects of their own fate, a fate which they alone would decide, and no one, or no thing, would stop them.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One

**_their choice is made, _**

_**and they turn away hand-in-hand, **_

_**with their backs to the darkness**_

_**and their faces to the light.**_

Haley blinked slowly, the early morning light softly peeking through the slit of the curtains. She groaned; her body turning into Nathan's warmth beside her, his body long and solid beneath the sheets.

He moaned, moving back against her, his skin warm to the touch, as she looped her hand around his waist to play with the elastic of his boxers. Haley's eyes roamed the smooth plains of his back, her mouth moving to kiss softly at the faint scar across his chest, while her hand moved lower, brushing against him.

He stirred then, his body alert, even as his eyes blinked heavily. Nathan turned towards her, his arm pulling her tighter into him, as his mouth sought out hers in a wet kiss.

"Good morning." Haley giggled against his mouth.

"Great morning. That was quite a wake up call." His hands stretched along her back, rubbing in tiny circles across her skin. He pulled her tightly against him, his eyes the only thing lazy, as he kissed his way down her neck.

Haley's hand threaded through his dark locks, her body molding against his willingly. On a moan, she spoke his name softly, "Nathan."

He raised his eyes to look at her, a smirk wide on his face. His hands splayed across her stomach as his head dipped to bite at her through the cotton. Haley moaned again, her body arching up into his.

He gripped her hips roughly, the pads of his fingers dipping into the cotton warmth of her flesh. She felt herself shudder, the anticipation ripping through her. Her hands ran down to grip his face, pull him close to her as her lips sought out his, her mouth warm and pliant, hungry and needy, and he pushed back, just as hungry.

"I love you." She broke out hastily, her words riding on heavy breaths.

Nathan smiled, his body hovering over hers, as he pulled her tighter under him, his hands running silkily along the length of her thigh and his mouth descended, feasting on flesh, lapping at her warmth. "I love you too."

"You know, I think it should be a rule that all Saturday mornings should be spent in bed, eating breakfast." Haley spoke happily as she leaned against the pillows, her fingers reaching to pick up her bagel. She bit in daintily, the cream cheese spreading.

Nathan laughed beside her, his body nestled beneath the covers. "Well that, and of course, with a little wake up call." He wiggled his eyebrows at her and she giggled. "Are you going to share that bagel, or just tease me with it?"

Haley raised the bagel to his lips, his eyes watching her carefully as he opened his mouth to take a bite, his teeth flashing as she pulled the bagel away hastily, instead kissing him solidly on the mouth.

Nathan pouted, "Tease."

Haley laughed. "When I got up to get some food, I remember someone telling me they weren't hungry, so therefore, you don't get any of my bagel." She took another bite, rubbing her stomach playfully. "Mmm. So good."

Nathan glowered at her. "We've been together for over eight years. You would think by now, you'd know that I get hungry after we make love." He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Oh I do. Trust me I do. But you're a big boy Mr. Scott, and I think you can decide if you're hungry or not. And just because you're wishing you had some food now, doesn't mean I'm going to share." She took another bite, licking at the cream cheese that covered her lips.

"Oh really?" Nathan's eyes glinted dangerously. Haley shrieked, her body turning as Nathan pounced on her, pulling at her arms to bring the bagel closer to him.

"Nathan!" Haley squealed, her body rigid with laughs as Nathan's hands pinched at her sides.

"Give me the bagel, Hales." He continued to tickle her, her body squirming beneath him.

"No! It's mine." She laughed, delighted.

Nathan smirked at her. "Alright, you leave me no choice." His hands streaked down her legs to pinch at her thighs, her body convulsing.

"Ahh! Nathan! Stop. Stop!" She continued to giggle. Her body shook with laughter as he pinned her to the bed.

Distracting her completely as he continued to tickle her with one hand, Nathan's other hand shot out to grab the bagel, a triumphant smile on his face. Before she could even react, he stuffed the remainder of the bagel in his mouth, chewing slowly as he savored each bite. "Mmm, you're right. That is good."

Haley glared at him, her lips pouting. "That was just mean."

Nathan swallowed carefully. "Mean, but good."

"You suck."

Nathan's smirk was wide. "Only when you ask."

Haley's mouth dropped open, her skin turning flush with embarrassment. "Nathan!"

Leaning down, he kissed her, his mouth reassuring and warm. "I love that after all this time, I can still make you blush. It's so hot." His mouth licked at hers, the taste of cream cheese still on both their lips. "I don't think you know how much it turns me on to see you get all embarrassed. Your skin turns this cute shade of pink, and I always used to wonder just how far the pink went." His hands moved across her chest to finger her collar bone. "Those cute little t-shirts you wore when we first started dating, the ones you thought covered you up, when really all it did was make me wonder what was underneath. Did the blush work itself across your chest?" His fingers cupped her gently and Haley sucked in a ragged breath.

"Did you feel the blush spread, like a liquid warmth caressing you?" His mouth dipped to bite at her neck, feeling her pulse flutter against his lips. "Did you wish it was my hands, my mouth; that covered you instead?"

Her eyes closed slowly, her body tuned to the low hum of his voice. She lay still; her breath coming faster as he continued to watch her, his eyes gazing across the whole of her.

"Did you lie awake at night Hales? All those nights when we tried to deny it, tried to fight fate? Did you wish I was there with you?" Nathan's mouth moved lower, leaving a silky trail against her heated skin.

Haley's eyes fluttered open then, the brown warm and soft, the irises dark with pleasure. When she spoke, her voice was hot and sharp, "You know I did." She raised her hands then, brought his body down around hers, and felt the first slide of pleasure collect in her belly.

The words were lost as their mouths sought each others, their bodies tuned to each other's wants and needs, and they felt the rhythm build, felt the power of it crash around them, and they took each other over the edge.

"Peyton just called." Nathan said as he walked into the living room.

Haley glanced up from the book she was reading, to peer over her glasses. "What did she say?"

Flopping down beside her, Nathan shrugged, "Said she wanted to invite us over for dinner. I told her we'd be over there later."

Haley laughed. "Sounds like it was a great conversation." She put her book down, moving to turn towards Nathan.

"Yeah. She was kind of bitchy, big surprise there, so I wanted to get off the phone as quickly as possible. How Luke puts up with that, I'll never know."

"Hey! That's my friend you're talking about. And your sister in law." She elbowed him in the ribs.

"I know. You know I love Peyton, but when she gets bitchy like that, just reminds me why all we ever used to do was fight."

Haley laughed, "Well that's definitely true. Did she say why she wanted us over for dinner?"

"Nope. Just told us to come on over around six." Nathan grabbed for the remote, flipping on the TV before settling into the couch. "Let's see if anything good is on."

"You excited for training camp?" Haley spoke as he continued to flip through channels.

Nathan glanced at her, his arm slung around her shoulders. "Yeah I am. I talked to Tommy yesterday and he's met some of the new guys. He thinks we could have a good year this year."

Haley smiled, "That's great. You guys all deserve to have a good year. It's been hard watching such a good group of guys fumble the time playoffs roll around. I know it's been hard on you."

Nathan smiled briefly, "Yeah. It has. I've never liked losing, but especially when you can see the championship in the horizon, and to miss it, to miss reaching it. It's heartbreaking."

"I know it is." Haley rubbed his chest. "And you guys are a great team. I've been reading the magazines, they're all predicting you guys to go all the way this year. Look out Charlotte, the Bobcats are on the prowl."

"On the prowl?" Nathan shook with laughter. "Oh Hales, you are so cute."

"Hey, I may not know everything there is to know about basketball, but I do know that it's important to you, it's been a big part of your life for longer than I've known you. So if it's important to you, it's important to me. I want you to be successful; I want you to feel good about your game."

Nathan smiled, kissing her softly. "Basketball is a big part of my life. But you're bigger. You and me. That's what matters. If this all disappeared tomorrow," he gestured to lush living room around them, "I would still be happy, knowing I have you."

Haley smiled brightly, "I love you so much Nathan. So much."

With his eyes locked on her lips, he smiled, "I love you too. More than you could ever know."

"Dinner looks great Peyton!" Haley spoke as she spooned a helping of mashed potatoes onto her plate.

"It really does. Who knew you could cook?" Nathan put in from across the table, sending Peyton a cheeky smile.

Peyton laughed, "Well, with Karen as a mother in law, it's hard not to pick up some skills. Though I think Lucas still wishes I could make her peach pie." She smiled at her husband.

Lucas grinned, "Well I suppose that's true. My mom does make a killer peach pie. But I love your cooking." He blew her a kiss.

"Thanks honey." Peyton glowed brightly. "So what's up with you guys, we haven't seen you in awhile. How was Hawaii?"

Haley grinned immediately. "Hawaii was great. You should have seen the hotel we stayed at. There was a waterfall in the lobby. A waterfall!" Haley smiled at Nathan. "I think I kept bothering Nathan with how much I was in awe over it. He kept telling me, 'It's just water, Hales.'" Haley imitated in a deep voice.

Peyton and Lucas laughed heartily and Nathan glared at her.

"But the weather was perfect, and we had so much fun. We went snorkeling, which I thought I'd hate, but actually I loved it. It was Nathan who hated it."

"You hated snorkeling? Why?" Luke looked at his brother.

Nathan shrugged, "I don't know. It was lame."

Haley giggled, "That's not why."

Nathan sent her a sharp look. "Yes it is."

Peyton looked between the two, catching the death glare Nathan was sending Haley. "Sounds like there's a story there." She winked at Nathan. "If he won't tell us, why don't you Hales."

"Haley." Nathan spoke slowly, his tone full of warning.

Haley giggled. "It was the third day there and I had heard from this other couple that the snorkeling was really good first thing in the morning, because that's when all the fish are feeding. So I dragged Nathan down to the beach to catch our boat…

"_Come on Nathan, we're going to miss the boat." Haley walked ahead of him quickly, her flip flops clicking against the stone path._

_Nathan grumbled behind her, "I can't believe you woke me up at the crack of dawn to look at fish."_

_Haley stopped briefly, sending him a withering glare. "I tried to get you to go to sleep early, but you were the one who couldn't keep his hands to himself. But if you're going to complain the whole time, I'd rather you just stayed here."_

_Nathan wiped a hand across his face. "You're right, I'm sorry. I'm just tired." He sent her a cautious smile. "I love you."_

_Haley frowned, "I love you too. You big butt head." She kissed him quickly, pulling her to move faster. "Come on! I don't want to be late."_

"_This area is well known for the wide variety of fish that come to feed. So I'm expecting we'll all get to see a great menagerie of the sea life. Now, remember to stay aware of how far under you are, we don't want you to get any sea water in your snorkel. I'll be out there swimming with all of you, and Marie will stay on the boat for anyone who chooses to come in early. _

"_So everyone have a good time, and enjoy the water." Their guide spoke to all of them, and the first group made their way to the edge of the boat._

"_I'm so glad no one is here to see us in these flippers. We look ridiculous." Haley laughed as they made their way to the back of the boat._

_Nathan adjusted the goggles on his forehead. "I couldn't agree more. Snorkel gear definitely doesn't flatter us. What's that?" He pointed to the box hanging from Haley's wrist._

"_Oh! I bought an underwater camera at the gift shop. How great will it be to get some pictures of the fish we see and of you in those goggles." She snapped a picture quickly._

"_Hey! That's just mean." Nathan laughed._

"_I have to get some good pictures to sell to the paparazzi." Haley grinned before moving to slide into the water._

"_Ahh! It's cold." Haley shrieked, her body tensing._

_Nathan swam behind her, his legs moving quickly to warm himself. "Damn, I thought Hawaii was supposed to have warm water."_

_Haley's teeth chattered before she moved closer to Nathan, hoping to gain some warmth. "Well it is the Pacific, and it's known to be pretty cold. Let's just start moving, and I'm sure we'll forget all about it." She moved the goggles down over her eyes, her hands reaching to slip the snorkel into her mouth. She grinned at him before kicking away, her head down._

_Nathan followed, testing the snorkel before he put his face in, searching for Haley. She was only a few feet away from him, her mouth turned in a smile as she happily took a picture of the reef below them. He looked around him, saw the school of fish that quickly surrounded him, and he jerked back, his head flying out of the water._

_Haley popped up after him, her eyes foggy behind the goggles. She pulled the snorkel from her mouth to question him, "What's wrong?"_

_Nathan blinked rapidly. "They're so close."_

"_What?"_

"_The fish. They're close." He gestured to the water._

_Haley looked confused. "Well yeah, I mean, that's the whole point, so you can see them up close."_

"_I just never really thought about how close they would be. I could have touched them. Not that I wanted to."_

_Clarity dawned across her face. "You're freaking out."_

_Nathan bristled, "What? No I'm not."_

_Haley giggled, "Yes you are! You're scared of the fish." She swam closer._

"_Haley, no I'm not." He tensed, his eyes narrowing. But even as the words left his mouth, he yelled, and Haley doubled over in laughter. "Something touched me."_

"_That was my foot." She giggled._

_Nathan glared, "I never knew I married such a mean woman."_

_Haley continued to laugh as she swam closer to soothe. "Oh I'm sorry baby, I just couldn't resist. Are you really that freaked out?" She ran a hand along his back, her arm looping around his neck._

"_I don't know, I just never thought about everything that's in the ocean. What's to stop a shark from coming and biting us? At least when we're at the beach, we're close to the shore, but out here we're fair game."_

"_What if I promise to protect you if Jaws comes?" She giggled again._

"_Very funny. But if Jaws comes, I'm feeding you to him first." Nathan readjusted his goggles, preparing to look again, even as Haley continued to laugh with delight._

_Just as he lowered his head to the water, he heard her distinctively._

"_Dun, dun. Dun, dun."_

"Oh my god, I wish we could have been there. Who knew Nate was afraid of the ocean?" Peyton howled with laughter.

"Hey! I'm not afraid of the ocean. It's the things inside the ocean that I'm a little wary of." Nathan took another bite of food as the other three continued to laugh.

"Either way, it was definitely a highlight of the trip. Seeing my big, strong husband afraid of a little fish." Haley smiled, shooting him a wink.

"Glad I could amuse you." Nathan spoke dryly.

Lucas smiled, "Don't worry bro, you're secret's safe with us." He clapped Nathan on the back.

"Gee thanks." Nathan looked back at Lucas. "So what's been up with you guys? Anything new?"

Lucas shot Peyton a soft look, his mouth turning up into a brief smile. "Actually, there is a reason we invited you guys over."

Haley laughed, "So it wasn't just because you missed our sparkling personalities? Or at least mine."

"Look at my wife, a regular comedian." Nathan winked at Haley.

Peyton cleared her throat. "Well Lucas and I have missed you guys, but we do have some news. I'm pregnant."

Haley jumped out of her chair to hug Peyton. "Oh my god, congratulations!" She hugged Peyton tightly, kissing her cheek. "I'm so happy for you guys."

Nathan moved to hug his brother, slapping him on the back. "Congratulations man. You guys deserve it."

"Thanks." Lucas met Peyton's eyes.

"How far along are you?" Haley spoke excitedly, moving to hug Lucas tightly.

Peyton smiled, "My doctor thinks around five weeks. I thought I just had the flu, but then Karen came to visit, and she put two and two together. We didn't plan on it, but we couldn't be more excited."

Haley hugged Lucas hard, whispering into his ear, "You're going to be a great dad."

Lucas's eyes watered; his smile bright. "Thanks Hales."

"Congratulations Peyton." Nathan hugged her warmly.

"Thanks Nate." Peyton wiped at the tears on her cheek. "I just couldn't wait to tell you. We found out when you guys were in Hawaii, and I wanted to call you right away, but Lucas thought it would be better to tell you in person."

Haley smiled warmly, "I'm so happy for you guys. You'll be great parents." She moved to stand beside Nathan, her arm wrapping tightly around his waist.

Lucas smiled at Peyton, his hand moving to wipe at the few stray tears. "Thanks guys. It means a lot to us that you guys are here to share this with us."

"I'm so excited for Luke and Peyton. Don't you think they'll be great parents?" Haley moved to the bathroom to brush her teeth as Nathan flipped through the channels on TV. He paused on ESPN, putting it on low, before turning to address his wife.

"Yeah I do. I never thought they'd end up where they are." He smiled briefly.

"What do you mean?" Haley spoke around her toothbrush.

"I mean, if you saw them in high school. Saw all the drama they had to go through, I guess I just figured at some point they'd just call it quits. Or at least I thought Peyton would. But seeing them now, seeing the way they looked at each other tonight; makes me think they had to go through all of that to know how they really felt."

Haley smiled warmly, flicking off the bathroom light. "Look at you, getting all nostalgic." She slid into bed beside him, wrapping the covers around her tightly. Her fingers played with the stitching of their bedspread, her eyes low.

"Hey, what's up?" Nathan put a finger under her chin, lifting her eyes to his.

Haley took in a deep breath, her eyes fused to his. "Do you ever think about having a baby?" She bit her lip nervously.

Nathan's hand dropped to grab hers. "You want to have a baby?"

Haley looked at their joined hands. "I think I do. What do you think?" She glanced up again, her face etched with nerves.

Nathan breathed in deeply, his mind sorting through the words. "I've always thought about what our kids would look like. Would they have your hair? Your eyes? Would we get a little girl who looked exactly like you, or a little boy with dark hair and brown eyes?" Nathan's eyes locked on to hers, his mouth kissing her warmly. "I want to have a baby with you. I want to have lots of babies with you. And if you're telling me that you're ready to start now, then I'm telling you that I am too."

Haley blew out a long breath. She pressed her lips to his, once, twice and rubbed at the rough stubble of his cheeks. "I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Ever since the end of this last season. It just feels like the right step for us."

She cupped his face with her hand. "I've loved you since I was sixteen. And I've never regretted one moment between us. Part of me was selfish, wanting to keep you to myself all these years, but I know that if we'd tried any sooner it would have been hard. You were just starting out, trying to define yourself as a player, and I always felt like it wasn't the right time.

"I am ready Nathan. I'm ready to start a family. Seeing the glow that surrounded Peyton tonight, made me realize that I want that too. I want to feel our baby growing inside me.

"We've had eight great years together, and I think we're finally ready to have a baby. I love you Nathan, and I want to see our baby grow up to be a little of both of us; whether it's a girl with dark brown hair and bright blue eyes, or a little boy with a love of mischief and basketball. I want that all, and I want it with you."

Haley kissed him again, softly, and she felt the nerves seep away. "I love you Nathan."

"I love you too." He kissed her back. "So we're going to try to have a baby?"

Haley turned, opening her nightstand drawer, pulling her birth control out. "We're going to try and have a baby." She glanced at the waste basket across the room, flicking her wrist to send the package sailing.

It sank with a plop.

Nathan smirked, "She shoots, she scores." He ran his hand down her side, pulling her mouth tight to his, his body moving to cover hers. There was a new fever to being together, a new excitement, as the prospect of starting a life, creating something out of the two of them, brought on a new level of intimacy.

Haley arched under him, her hips rolling against his through the thin cotton of his boxers, her shorts, and she felt him tighten and stretch. His fingers worked at the waistband of her shorts, rolling it slowly down her hips, revealing the heated skin beneath.

Her hands stretched along his back, feeling the muscles tense and bunch as he strained above her. His mouth sought out hers, his teeth scraping at her bottom lip as she quivered. His tongue pushed, probed against hers, and she sucked in a deep breath. The nerves tightened low in her belly, making her moan for release, even as her hands pulled at the flesh of his shoulders and back. Her fingers dug in, her nails leaving crescent moons along his shoulder blades.

It was stronger this time, the power more intense as the prospect of new life brought them hurtling together. This was their time.

Their time for fate.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

"Is there any coffee?" Nathan trudged into the kitchen, his bare feet padding along the hardwood floors.

Haley looked up from the newspaper, a steaming mug in front of her. "Yeah, I just made a fresh batch."

Nathan smiled, pouring himself a full mug, before moving to sit across from her. "Thanks."

Haley smiled back at him, lowering the newspaper. "You sleep okay?" She noticed the dark rings under his eyes.

Nathan chuckled, "Well despite my insatiable wife, I did manage to get some sleep. Though I'm sure the minute I sit down in front of the TV I'll be out."

"Aww, is my man feeling worn out?" Haley ran her foot along his leg under the table.

Nathan took a long sip of his coffee, felt the caffeine wipe away at the tired. "Not worn out. I would definitely say I've been enjoying this past week. Who knew I had married such a little sex kitten?" He grinned at her.

Haley blushed brightly, "I can't help it. The idea of us starting a new life, of making a baby, is the ultimate aphrodisiac. And I can't help that I have good taste in husbands." Her foot continued to run along his leg, inching along his thigh.

Nathan's hand reached under the table, rubbing her foot. "I never thought we'd break the record we set right after we got back together. But this past week, honey, I think we've set a world record." He took another long sip. "Not that I mind."

"Yeah I thought that might be the case." Haley giggled as he pinched at her foot.

"So, what do you have going on today?" He took another long sip, felt the coffee slide down his throat.

Haley took a mirroring sip, her hands wrapping around the mug. "Oh, I called Peyton. She and I are going to go to lunch and then do some baby shopping. She's looking for a color theme for the nursery."

"Already?" Nathan's eyebrows furrowed.

"She said she wanted to get a start on it. And knowing her artistic side, it will be nothing short of fantastic. And maybe while I'm out I'll look around for us." She smiled shyly.

"Hales, don't you think you're rushing this? We've only been trying for a week. I mean, I know I'm good, but I'm not a miracle worker."

Haley rubbed her stomach absently, "I know I'm not pregnant yet. Women who have been on the pill for as long as I have usually meet a little resistance to begin with, so I'm expecting that. But I can't help but get excited at the idea. Who knew I'd want to hurry the prospect of morning sickness." She smiled wistfully.

"It'll happen, but I just don't want you to get your hopes up so high from the beginning. I couldn't stand it if you were let down." Nathan reached across the table to rub the back of her hand with his thumb.

Haley sighed, "I know. I just want a baby so badly. I'm not expecting anything this month, but that doesn't stop us from getting in a little practice." She winked at him.

Nathan grinned, swallowing the last of his coffee. "There's the little sex fiend I've grown to love." He stood up, pushing the newspaper off the coffee table, and grabbing her across the table.

"Nathan!" Haley squealed as he slid her across the table, setting her in front of him. His mouth descended quickly, his lips sucking the air out of her as he pushed, licked at her furiously.

She met his pace, pushed her body closer to his as he hovered above him. She angled her head up, felt the stretch of her neck as his fingers kneaded at the muscles of her shoulders. Haley relaxed against him, the coil of anticipation tightening as he pushed her farther, deeper.

Grappling for some sort of control she pulled him flush against her, changing their position so his body covered hers along the length of the kitchen table and when his mouth attached to the cords of her neck she hissed out a long moan.

"Nathan!" Her voice was low and hoarse, her body pleading for more.

Nathan pushed her shirt up and over her head, his eyes taking in the milky smooth skin of her chest and stomach, his hands splaying low across her belly, imagining the possibility of a life starting there. He bent his head low, kissing a soft line along the waistband of her pajama pants, and he felt her skin quiver beneath his lips.

He raised his lips, locking eyes with her, and saw the look of utter love and adoration in her features. "I love you Nathan."

He smiled slowly, saw her smile grow wild, and he pushed her down, covering her body with his, and she saw nothing but him, felt nothing but him, and shattered.

"So how's the mother to be?" Haley said as she pulled a cute pink dress from the rack.

Peyton sighed, shifting to look at a matching sweater set, complete with little yellow ducks. "Bloated. Nauseous. Exhausted. Exhilarated. Thrilled." She smiled softly.

"It looks good on you." Haley smiled back at her.

"Thanks Hales." Peyton held up the duck sweater. "What do you think of a duck theme?"

Haley furrowed her brow, studying the bright yellow ducks. She shook her head slowly, "No, I don't see you and Luke as duck people."

Peyton looked again at the sweater, "Yeah you're right. I can't imagine painting the whole room with ducks anyway." She stuck the sweater back on the rack, moving to look through the other variety of baby clothes.

"I just want something original. Something edgy. But something cute and adorable. Can we find something edgy and cute?" She smirked.

Haley giggled, "Well I don't know, but if anyone can, you can."

"That's true. I'm awesome."

Haley watched her friend closely, saw the way she smiled wistfully at all the baby clothes, how she ran her hands along the lace that lined the little girl dresses. "How does it feel Peyton? How is it being pregnant?"

Peyton straightened, her eyes locking on Haley's. "It's amazing Hales. I never knew I could feel this way. I feel so alive all the time." Her hand moved to rub across her belly. "To think that I have someone growing inside me, that Luke and I created a new life. It's overpowering." Her eyes welled with tears, her bottom lip quivering.

"I love Luke so much, and to know that I'm giving him a baby, that we're starting something so new. I just can't even put it in to words." She wiped at the few tears that had managed to escape.

Haley wrapped her arm around Peyton. "I'm so happy for you guys. You're going to be wonderful parents, and I know the little baby growing inside you is going to be the luckiest kid in the world."

Peyton smiled brightly, "Thanks Hales."

"So, what did Brooke say?" Haley laughed just imagining their friend's reaction.

Peyton laughed, "Well after the squealing was over, she told me she was hopping on the next plane over so she could see me. She says she wants a mental picture before I start showing." Peyton shook her head. "Like she hasn't seen me a million times."

"She's excited for you. You know I haven't talked to her in awhile, how's she doing?"

"Oh you know Brooke. She's fabulous, enjoying life amongst the glitz and glamour of New York; taking the fashion magazine world by storm. She told me to say hi, and that she plans on stealing us when she gets into to town."

"Sounds like fun. I'm sure Nathan will enjoy another Brooke visit." Haley began to giggle.

Peyton doubled over laughing, "I think his last words were 'Brooke! Just leave before I throw you in the taxi!' Which I think was the highlight of her trip."

"Yeah, they definitely have a unique friendship."

Peyton chuckled, "I don't know if you could even call it a friendship, but it certainly is fun to watch."

Haley laughed along side her, "Well that's definitely true." She reached onto the rack, pulling out a pajama set adorned with clowns. Shuddering, she briefly held it up. "I fear to ask, but what about clowns?'

Peyton blanched visibly, "Oh god no. I'm trying to prepare for a baby not scare the shit out of it."

Haley hastily threw it back, "Oh thank god." She fingered a pair of tiny booties, her eyes lingering there. "So, Nathan and I decided we're going to try and have a baby." She watched Peyton's face, waiting for her reaction.

Peyton's face broke out in a wide smile, "Haley!" She grabbed her in a fierce hug, her arms wrapping around her solidly. "That's so great!" She pulled back to look at Haley's face, saw the serene happiness there. "Oh I hope you get pregnant. We could be pregnant together!"

Haley laughed, "Well let's not get ahead of ourselves. I've been on the pill for over eight years, and from everything I've read it can take some women awhile to get pregnant after that. But we're definitely trying."

"Well either way, I still think you'll be getting the news soon. Oh, I'm so excited!" Peyton grinned. "I just want you to feel what I feel. You know, I was always surprised you hadn't earlier. What made you decide now?"

"I don't know. I had been thinking about it awhile; ever since the end of Nathan's last season. I just kept thinking over and over about having a baby with Nathan. In the past, it always felt like the wrong time, and I guess I just wanted us to be more settled. But when you and Luke shared your news, it just hit me. This was the perfect time to start. To try. I hope you don't think I'm trying to steal your thunder."

Peyton slapped at her arm, "Are you kidding me? I couldn't be more thrilled at the idea that you could share this with me. We could get fat together, order our husband's around together, eat lots of food together. It would be great."

Haley smiled, as she blinked back tears, "I'm so glad you think so. We're trying, so I guess we're just in wait and see mode."

Peyton smiled back, hugging her tightly, "I better be the first person you guys tell."

"You can count on it." She pulled Peyton toward a new display, looking closely at the toys that littered the shelves. "This is a little embarrassing to say, and let me know if it's too much information, but ever since Nathan and I decided to try for a baby, I can't keep my hands to myself."

Peyton giggled, "Haley Scott, sex fiend."

"I know! I mean, it's like every time I look at him, I just want to be with him. It's crazy. I've never felt like this."

"Well I'm sure a lot of that is because you guys are hyped up on the idea of starting a family, and of course, you guys have always had a hard time keeping your hands to yourselves. If I had a dollar for every time Luke and I almost caught you too, well I'd have a lot of dollars."

"Shut up!" Haley bumped her hip playfully.

"I'm joking, but I think its great Hales. You guys deserve this, just don't over think it. And trust me I can barely keep my hands off Luke too. The poor boy is worn out."

"Dude, can you grab the remote?" Nathan called to his brother, his body lounging across the length of the couch.

Lucas looked at where the remote sat on the coffee table, more than an arm's length away from his position in the plush arm chair. "Nope. Too far."

"Luke, man, just lean over and grab it." Nathan stared at the TV, their football game long over, and now a fishing show flickering.

"You get it. You're just as close as I am. I'm tired." Luke closed his eyes briefly.

"Well I'm tired too. So you get it." Nathan snuggled further into the couch.

"It's your house. You do it."

Nathan groaned, "God, you are such a woman."

Luke smirked, "Yeah, I'm such a woman. That's how I got my wife pregnant."

"Braggart." Nathan grabbed the remote, flipping the channels rapidly.

Lucas eyed his brotherly suspiciously, "Someone's been spending too much time with their tutor. What's going on with you?"

Nathan sighed, "Nothing. It's just that, Haley and I are trying to have a baby."

Lucas sat up quickly, "Really? That's great Nathan!"

Nathan smiled, "Yeah, we're really excited about it. We started talking about it after we found out about you and Peyton, and I don't know, it just fell into place. I mean, I had always assumed we'd have kids one day, and when Haley mentioned it, it just felt like now was the time. I love her. You know I love her, and I want to make her happy. And if you could see the way her face lit up when she was talking about trying to have a baby. It was just electric. And it's contagious. I find myself smiling all the time at just the idea. The idea of creating something out of Haley and me. It's amazing."

"I'm so happy for you guys. I can't think of two people who are more ready to have a kid. You know, when Peyton told me she was late, and we were waiting to hear back from the doctor, I started to think about it. I mean, really think about it. Peyton and I have had so many ups and downs in our relationship, and a part of me panicked. A part of me freaked out at the fear that we wouldn't make it work, that something could happen. But then I started thinking about what our kid would look like. With it's blonde hair and blue eyes, and I started dreaming about having a little girl with Peyton's love of art. And I just got really excited.

"I realized that I can never predict the future, I can never know what's going to be around the next corner, but I'm sure as hell going to capitalize on what does show up. We didn't plan on this kid, but we're excited as hell at the idea, and that means everything."

Nathan smiled at his big brother, "I definitely think having a baby agrees with you."

Lucas ran a hand over his face, "Thanks."

"So does Dan know about the baby?"

Lucas grimaced briefly, "Yeah, I called him actually. He was actually pretty decent about it. Told me congratulations, and even though he wasn't overwhelmingly excited, he wasn't negative either. So I guess that's good."

"Yeah I guess so. I don't know what you'd actually want him to say. But I bet Karen and Keith are thrilled."

"Oh, God yes. Mom was the first one to clue us in on the possibility, so she's had the longest time to get used to it. But the minute it was confirmed, she called Keith and started crying on the phone about how her baby was having a baby. Secretly I think she's freaking out that she's already going to be a grandma."

"Yeah I can't wait till I get to tell Deb she's going to be a grandma."

"That'll be priceless."

"Well hopefully we'll have good news soon. I try not to get my hopes up, but it's hard not to. Plus you figure with the Scott genes…" He laughed.

"Yeah, the one thing Dan Scott passed down."

"Did Peyton come up with a theme for the nursery?" Nathan asked as the settled in for the night, his arm wrapped around her shoulder as they watched the opening credits of the movie.

"No, we looked through ducks, ladybugs, clowns, elephants, pretty much every animal you've ever thought of. But none of them seemed right. We're going to try again next week, see if something else fits her mood." Haley snuggled further into his side, her legs stretched out onto the ottoman in front of them, the warm blanket wrapped tight.

"Well I'm sure she'll find something. It is a little early, so maybe something will strike her fancy as she gets closer." His fingers played with the hair that fell across her shoulders. "I hung out with Luke today."

"What did you guys do?"

"Watched TV. It was pretty unproductive."

"Sounds like fun though. I still remember the days you two couldn't be left unsupervised for fear of loss of limb."

"True. But you know what, I think all that made us stronger. We're much more brotherly now."

Haley laughed. "Well I guess that's true." She turned her head, kissed softly at the curve of his jaw. "I love you Nathan."

"I love you too." He kissed her softly. "God, I love you."

Haley's hands worked their way under the blanket, moving to slide over him. The slip of her hand had him tensing excitably, and he moaned against her lips. Haley pushed his lips forcefully, taking the lead as her tongue darted out to slip between his lips. Her hands ran along his chest, pulling him tighter against her, and she felt his hands dip to knead her butt.

Haley slid across his lap, the blanket falling away, and she moved on her knees to straddle him, to feel his thighs tight between her. His hands slipped under the cotton of her shirt, moving in slow, lazy circles against her skin, Her jeans rode low, and Nathan's hand moved to explore the space between.

Haley caught Nathan's bottom lip between her teeth, heard his sharp intake of breath, and he plunged, pushing her back along the length of the couch to cover her with his body.

"I need you Hales." Nathan panted against her neck, his breath warm and wet. "I need you so bad, baby."

Haley wriggled beneath him, working her jeans down low, and she felt his hand slip in, tease the warm skin of her belly. His fingers moved across her, and she bucked wildly, wanting more of him, wanting all of him.

She could feel only him. Feel his breath warm on her skin, the hint of his tongue as he traced along her skin.

"Please, Nathan." Haley whimpered, wanting to feel his mouth on her, wanting to feel him with her.

Grabbing her hand in his, lacing their fingers tightly, Nathan strained against her, and pushed them both, pushed them farther, and they were lost.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"So I officially can't fit into my jeans anymore." Peyton grumbled from where she lay across the couch, her head nestled against a plush throw pillow.

Nathan laughed from the leather chair beside her, "Well I, for one, am glad you're no longer trying to stuff yourself into your old jeans."

Peyton raised her head, giving him a sharp glare. "You are so lucky I'm too tired to move. Haley! Hit him!"

Haley chuckled as she strolled in from the kitchen. "What did he do now?"

"He called me fat!"

"Nathan!" Haley hit him sharply on the back of the head as she passed by.

"I did not." He rubbed the back of his head tenderly as Peyton laughed heartily. "She's the one who said her pants don't fit anymore."

Haley's eyes gleamed brightly. "That's great Peyton! Look at how you're growing."

Peyton shifted to a sitting position, her hands coming to rest gently on her slightly protruding belly. "Yeah, I can't believe I'm already 12 weeks along. Thank god the morning sickness has passed. I swear I was auditioning for The Exorcist."

"12 weeks! Has it really been that long?" Haley sat beside her friend, her face an unreadable expression.

Peyton smiled, nodding slightly. "Yeah. 12 weeks. Luke and I went to see Dr. Franco last week and he said everything looks like it's right on schedule. Our baby is strong and healthy." She smiled softly.

Haley reached out a hand to clasp with Peyton's, her eyes misting softly. "Good. That's really good."

Nathan watched the two women intensely, his eyes trying to read his wife's face. It was no secret that she was happy for Peyton and Lucas; she had been since she had first found out. But he knew a part of her was envious, a part of her was impatient for them to feel that same joy.

They had been trying for almost three months, with still no success. In the beginning weeks, they had barely been able to keep their hands off each other, their love renewed as they forged the idea of starting a family. His mind flashed through all those moments together, the way their bodies heated each other's, their hands pulling at the warm skin, their eyes locking as he slid inside her. He had felt her body pressed softly against his, heard his name expelled on the same breath that held a heated moan. Nathan had watched her eyes cloud over with lust, time and time again, and he knew it was a feeling he would never tire of.

But he also knew that the months of silence, the months of stilted anticipation were draining on Haley. He had learned to count the weeks, to prepare himself when she came out of the bathroom, a weary expression on her face. She never had to say a thing, the addition of words making the experience all the more disheartening, and he couldn't bear to hear her say the words aloud.

_I'm not pregnant._

He didn't want to hear those words; didn't want to have to see her face as the words slipped from between her lips. He didn't want to be the one to make it real for her.

He loved her too much to make it real.

But through it all, she had maintained a level of faith. She had told him repeatedly of the studies that said that women who had been on birth control for long periods of time, also found themselves having a harder time conceiving. She wrapped herself in those studies, using them as a shield, a defense against her mind slipping to a much darker thought.

One neither were willing to address.

He shook the thoughts from his head now, his eyes taking one last look at Haley's face, before he pushed a wide smile on his face. "Okay, enough talk about Peyton's ass getting bigger. You're boring me."

The women glared at him, Haley's face betrayed by the slight smirk on her lips. "Someone's just cranky because I banned ESPN today."

"Well, really Hales, how do you expect me to live without ESPN?" He grumbled, glad her attention was focused on something other than babies.

Peyton looked between the couple interestedly, "Why'd you ban ESPN? And more importantly, how did you do it?"

Haley giggled, "It wasn't that hard. You just have to find the moment when they're at their weakest."

Peyton's eyebrow rose defiantly, "Oh really? Something tells me I don't want you to elaborate on that. But I definitely need to remember that."

"I'll make sure to warn Luke." Nathan laughed from his lounging position in the chair.

"Warn me about what?" Lucas materialized from the front hall, his sunglasses resting on the top of his head, his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

Peyton brightened immediately, "Nothing honey. Don't listen to your brother." She stood, her body moving slower than usual, and she pressed her lips to his in a wet kiss. Haley's eyes locked with Nathan's behind them, her look conveying all the love he felt flowing between them.

"When do I ever?" Lucas laughed, pulling Peyton back over to the couch to sit beside her, ignoring the glare and middle finger Nathan sent his way. "What are you guys up to?"

Haley smiled at her oldest friend, her eyes noticing the way his face had changed over the last few months, his presence becoming less like the teenager she had once known, and more like the father he was preparing to become. Her eyes filled when she thought of Lucas becoming a father, of him holding his son or daughter in his arms.

Nathan spoke up glibly, "They were just boring me with more talk about Peyton gaining weight." He shrugged, his eyes focusing on the TV before he grimaced once more.

"He called me fat!" Peyton declared again, and Lucas reached over to punch Nathan in the arm.

"What the hell? Peyton!" Nathan rubbed at his arm, a sharp glare on his face.

Lucas smiled at his brother, "Don't call my wife fat."

"I didn't. She called herself fat. I'm innocent."

Haley sniggered then, earning herself a glare from Nathan before his gaze settled back on Lucas, "So where have you been? You left me alone with the hormonal twins."

Lucas laughed then, his face struggling to straighten as Peyton elbowed him in the ribs. "Hormonal twins?"

Nathan shrugged, "I stand by my statement."

"I hope it keeps you nice and warm on the couch tonight." Haley smirked at her husband, loving the way his eyes flared dangerously at her challenge.

"Is that a fact?" His posture was no longer relaxed as he sat up in the chair, his elbows resting on his knees. His eyes were lit with mischief.

Haley's eyes mirrored his, her body remaining in the slumped, indifferent position across from him. Lucas and Peyton exchanged knowing smiles from their spot on the couch.

"Look at my wife, a regular ball buster." Nathan winked at Lucas and Peyton before his eyes locked on Haley's again.

Haley shrugged, feigning indifference, "You know it."

His movements were fast, his reactions quick, and before she even had time to react he was hovering over her, his fingers quick and ruthless against her sides. Haley's giggles bounced off the living room walls, her body squirming farther into the chair.

"Stop! Nathan!" Haley squealed happily as Nathan dug his fingers in deeper.

"What was that?" Nathan mocked confusion, "I can't hear you over all the laughing."

"Nathan! Please! Please! Stop!" Haley continued, her laughs growing louder and fiercer.

Nathan turned his head toward Peyton and Lucas, his smile wide, even as his fingers continued to clutch at her sides. "Can you understand her? I don't know what she's trying to say."

Haley squealed once more, her legs swinging for leverage. "Please, Nathan, I love you! Stop! Stop!"

Nathan's fingers stopped their torment, and he stood. "Alright, alright. No need to shout." He smirked down at her and she couldn't help the smile that flew across her face. He leaned down to kiss her, his lips rough against hers, and she stretched her body to meet his, her lips eager and hungry.

"Oh God." Peyton groaned loudly, her eyes meeting Lucas's. "Why is it that every time we're over here, they start making out?"

Lucas laughed as Nathan and Haley continued to kiss, seemingly forgetting the family in the room. "I'm starting to think it's all they do. No wonder they never fight, they never have time to talk."

Peyton laughed, stretching her body to kiss at Lucas's lips. "I love you Luke."

"I love you too." Lucas kissed her again, his hands sliding along her neck to wrap in her soft blonde curls. Peyton kissed him back, her lips skimming against his in the breathiest of kisses, while her hands clutched his shirt.

"Hey you two, knock it off. There are people in the room." Nathan broke in from where he now sat on the arm of Haley's chair.

Lucas pulled away from Peyton reluctantly, his eyebrow raised. "Are you kidding me?"

"What?" Nathan looked around him in question, meeting the sheepish gaze of Haley.

"I think they're saying we're the pot calling the kettle black." Haley grinned as Nathan's face cleared impassively.

"I take it, that was Haley speak for, if we're doing it, why can't they?" He smirked.

Haley shrugged, "Pretty much."

"You guys are like Siamese twins joined at the lips. You always have been. Sometimes I'm not even sure where one of you ends and the other begins." Peyton quipped earning her a glare from Nathan.

"Like you two aren't just as bad. Give me a break."

Lucas wrapped an arm slowly around Peyton's shoulders, rubbing against her arm in soft, slow circles. "We never said we weren't. In fact," he put a hand across Peyton's belly, "I think this is evidence enough."

"Luke!" Peyton shrieked while Nathan, Lucas, and Haley laughed.

Lucas pressed a soothing kiss against her temple, her eyes closing briefly. "It's true, and it's wonderful."

Peyton spread her hands low across her belly, her fingers rubbing in circles against her skin, before Lucas joined their hands, their fingers linked across her swollen skin. She turned her head into his neck, breathing deeply, the picture of peace.

Nathan's eyes locked on Haley's face; saw the swirl of emotions that covered her porcelain skin as she gazed at his brother and Peyton. Her eyes flashed with disappointment and wanting, her body going rigid underneath his gaze. He slid his hand comfortingly over her shoulder; saw the way her muscles contracted at his touch, the soft, sad look she gave him as her eyes searched his. His fingers flexed, tightening on her shoulder, trying to convey all he felt in that moment; and she smiled, almost wistfully, before her eyes dropped to her lap.

Nathan slid his hand down, linking her fingers with his, and he felt her skin cold beneath his. Her eyes rose again, sadly meeting his, and he wanted nothing more than to give her what she longed for, to give them both what they wanted.

He only hoped it would come soon.

"I think I better get Peyton home. She's dead on her feet most evenings." Lucas spoke up from the couch, unaware of the sad look Haley's eyes. "Would you believe that little miss falls asleep by eight most nights?"

Haley smiled then, her lips curving even as her eyes stayed sad, "She's working for two now."

Peyton smiled back knowingly, her head nodding briefly, "We should get home. Thanks for letting me hang out with you guys. I couldn't take another author lecture. Sorry, honey." She tapped Lucas lightly on the cheek.

"No one appreciates the classics anymore." Lucas grumbled good-naturedly as he stood, offering a hand to help pull Peyton up beside him. "We'll see you guys tomorrow right? Brooke's flight comes in at three, so we'll see you at the restaurant at six. Does that sound good?"

Nathan sighed, "Yeah six is fine." He ran a hand tiredly over his eyes.

Peyton gave Nathan a quick hug, "Don't worry. She's only staying for the weekend."

"I know." Nathan laughed, smiling.

"But you know she plans on torturing you. There's nothing she likes more than making you mad, Nate." Luke chimed in.

Haley smiled then, her eyes void of her earlier sorrow, moving to stand beside Nathan, her arm wrapping low around his waist. "He likes it too, even if he won't admit it. He likes fighting with someone." She gave him a knowing wink.

Nathan felt his body relax, felt her happiness wash over him and he hoped he could keep her there, "My wife knows me too well." He kissed her on top of the head.

"Well at least it's entertaining to watch." Peyton smiled at Haley, moving to hug her tightly, whispering softly into her ear before she pulled away and moved towards the front door, pulling Lucas along with her.

"Bye guys! See you tomorrow." They shouted as the front door closed and Nathan and Haley were draped in silence.

The clock on the mantle behind them clicked loudly as the hands rotated slowly. Nathan's arm pulled Haley in closer to him, his body wrapping around hers, wanting her to feel the love radiate off him. She melted against him instantly, her body pliant against his, and he bent his head down low to her ear, as his hands pulled her tightly against him.

"What did Peyton say?"

His words had her locking eyes with his, her brown eyes wide and reflective. She spoke softly, her words a bare whisper, but he saw the faint smile that crossed her lips as they reached his ears.

"Trust in fate."

"The flight was horrible! First of all I got stuck next to this rather large man, who smelled like sweat and salami, and then he fell asleep. Which would have been fine; if he hadn't tried to use my shoulder as a pillow. Not to mention that he kept blowing his breath on me. I thought I might actually need to use the air sickness bag." Brooke spoke distastefully as she broke off a piece of bread, spreading a light layer of butter across it. She bit in slowly, her eyes dancing to the four people around her, and she smiled.

"But enough about me. Fill me in on all the gossip. I don't get to see you guys as much as I'd like." She looked at Peyton.

"You already know everything about me. I think everyone can see what's new with me." Peyton laughed.

"True enough P. Scott. And I plan on hearing all about your morning sickness and bloating tomorrow when we spend some girl time with Haley. So for now, why don't the Scott boys fill me in on life." Brooke's eyes flashed to Nathan's. "How are things with you Superstar?"

Nathan chuckled slightly, his hand resting on Haley's thigh under the table. "It hasn't been that long since we've seen you Brooke. You already know that the team didn't make the championships. Other than that, nothing new to report."

"Oh you guys are boring. Come on Hales; tell me more has been going on than that." Brooke's eyes flew to Haley's, a slight smile on her face.

Haley looked at Nathan briefly, her eyes asking for silent permission. He nodded slowly, his fingers tightening on her leg. "Well, Nathan and I went to Hawaii. That was a lot of fun. It was nice to get away."

Lucas broke in, "Tell her about snorkeling."

"No!" Nathan shot his brother a glare.

Brooke's eyebrow rose in interest. "It sounds like there's a good story there. Don't worry Nate; I'll have Haley tell me tomorrow. So, other than Hawaii, anything else new?"

Peyton nodded slowly at Haley, her lips curving in a small smile.

"Well there is one thing." Haley inhaled deeply, "Nathan and I are trying to have a baby." She spoke the words softly, her heart battling between disappointment and hope.

Brooke's mouth dropped open in surprise. "Oh my God!" She leaned over to hug Haley tightly. She pulled back, noticing the traces of sadness that she saw in Haley's eyes. Her voice lowered, "Nothing yet?"

Haley shrugged, blinking rapidly, "No not yet."

"We haven't been trying for very long." Nathan spoke up from beside Haley, his eyes kind.

Brooke nodded slowly, "No of course not. Besides, tutor wife has been on birth control for years, right? I mean, she flashed me the patch!" Brooke grinned at Haley, happy to see the smile returned.

"What?" Nathan and Lucas said together, their faces both a mixture of shock and intrigue.

Haley shrugged, "It was at the wedding party they threw for us. Remember Whitey gave us that baby blanket that his wife had made?" She saw Nathan nod. "Well since I knew Brooke thought we had gotten married just because I was pregnant, I wanted to show her I couldn't be."

"She unzipped her skirt to show me!" Brooke laughed. "I had forgotten about that. You certainly did surprise me that day tutor wife."

"I can't believe I never heard that story before." Nathan looked at Haley. "Any other times you unzipped your skirt for someone that I don't know about?" He smirked at her.

Haley laughed softly, "No, I think that's the only one you weren't the audience."

Nathan smiled back, kissing her quickly. "That's what I like to hear."

"I can see you guys are just as sickeningly happy as always." Brooke smiled over her water glass, her eyes teasing.

Nathan smiled back, running a hand through Haley's hair. "Pretty much."

"What about you Brooke? How many guys are you dating right now?" Peyton teased her willfully.

"You know me too well P. Scott. Too well." She smirked. "Just two right now. One of them, Jack, is a journalist for the _New York Times_. And then Tyson is a fashion photographer. We met when I was setting up a cover shoot."

"Shocking." Nathan laughed.

Brooke laughed along with him, her eyes sharp. "I know. I'm a cliché right? I can't help it. There are so many good looking men in New York. It would be wrong to deprive them of Brooke Davis."

The four laughed, clearly entertained by Brooke's regular antics. "You know, it really is good to have you back. I'm glad some things don't change." Lucas smiled warmly at Brooke.

"Some things change. Fashion. Diets. Men. But I stay the same." Brooke shrugged.

Haley's eyes softened, "Do you still like it in New York?"

Brooke smiled brightly. "I love it. There is no place like it. The culture, the theaters, the restaurants, the people, the _shopping_, it's all fantastic. I was meant to be there."

"I'm so glad, but you know we miss you around here."

Nathan broke in then, "Speak for yourself."

Brooke laughed, her giggle bubbling out happily. "I see you haven't changed either Nathan. And for that, I'm glad. I don't think it would be the same if I came back and we weren't arguing."

"Why mess with a good thing, right?" Nathan smiled back.

"Exactly!" Brooke laughed again. "So what do we have planned while I'm in town? You are entertaining me, right?"

Lucas smiled, "Of course. Well tomorrow Peyton and Haley are taking you baby shopping. That's the plan, isn't it?" He looked at Peyton for confirmation. "And I think Haley mentioned having dinner at their place before you go."

"Yeah. I want you to see the new house. It's not completely furnished yet, but wait till you see it. I fell in love with it the minute I saw it. It's got this huge wrap around porch, and you can see the river from the back. I practically begged Nathan to bid on it."

"I can't wait to see it." Brooke smiled warmly.

"And then we were thinking on Saturday, you might like to take a road trip back to Tree Hill, see our old haunting grounds. It's been awhile since you've been back."

Brooke nodded, "That could be fun. I'd like to see Karen's. You know I was craving a piece of her peach pie not too long ago."

Lucas smiled, "I'll make sure she's got some fresh."

"Wait a minute, you mean we're all going to be in one car, together?" Nathan's eyes slid around the table. Their smirks mirrored. "Oh great."

"Haley seemed a little sad tonight." Brooke sat next to Peyton on the couch, a carton of ice cream nestled between them.

Peyton sighed briefly, "Yeah. She's been that way for a week or two. Ever since she found out she wasn't pregnant again. It's been hard on her. Even though she says she knew it could take a while, I think a part of her was expecting it to." Peyton lifted a spoonful to her lips, licking at the creamy flavor. "I can't help feeling guilty."

"Why?" Brooke took another spoonful.

"The reason Haley and Nathan decided to try and have a baby was largely in part to Lucas and I having one. Haley told me she had been thinking about it for awhile, but when I announced it, she thought maybe the time was right for her too." Peyton smiled sadly, "Can you believe she even asked if I was okay with that? She said she didn't want me to think I was trying to steal her thunder."

Brooke sighed, "That's our Haley. Thinking of everyone else first. But you know, if anyone deserves to have a kid, it's them. I've never seen two people more in love. Well except for maybe you and Luke."

"Thanks, but the level of intimacy Nathan and Haley have, well, it's what everyone should hope for. Luke and I are happy and we love each other completely, but I know that what we have is a mere shadow of what they've felt for so long. They're special."

"I know they are. In a lot of ways, when I first meet a guy, I think to myself, is he going to love me like Nathan loves Haley? Am I going to love him back just as much? And usually the answer is no, and until I feel that yes, I'm not settling."

Peyton nodded, "I know what you mean. Nathan was the one that got me to see that what Lucas and I have was worth fighting for. Did you know he sat me down one day, took me out to coffee, and asked me when I was going to get over my past, and grab my future?" She saw the look of shock on Brooke's face. "Trust me; my face looked just like yours. I couldn't believe that Nathan was the one telling me this. I had expected it from Haley, or you, but from Nathan, it was just the push I needed."

"The minute he dropped me at home, I ran to my car, drove straight to Luke's, and told him I didn't want to waste anymore time. It's been the smartest thing I've ever done." Her hands pulled to stretch the cotton of her t-shirt across her belly.

"I'm happy for you Peyton. I've never seen you glow like you are now. Motherhood suits you well. And I know Haley is happy for you, even if she's dealing with her own demons. She will always be happy for you, and she wouldn't want you to feel guilty."

Peyton nodded, "I know. But how can I not? How can I not feel guilty that Luke and I are getting everything they want?"

Brooke stretched her legs out in front of her across the ottoman, her toes flexing. "Because it's not what she wants Peyton. She wants you to be happy. And they'll get their time. Nathan and Haley; they're destined for great things."

"So you're still looking for a theme?" Brooke took a sip of her bottled water.

Peyton sulked, "Yeah. Haley and I have been to every baby store within 30 miles. I swear I've seen more strollers and cribs than ever possible."

"It's true. We've been shopping every weekend for months, and yet we can't find anything that suits Peyton and Lucas. Especially since they decided not to find out the sex of the baby beforehand." Haley sat on the park bench, flexing her tired calves.

"Well, have no fear ladies, you have me, shopper extraordinaire. We'll find something." She sprung up, her hair swinging. "Let's go. Time's a-wasting." She walked away with a fury, leaving a tired Peyton and Haley straggling behind.

She stopped in front of the store, gazing appreciatively at the window display before pulling open the door and charging in. Peyton and Haley shared a quick look before following her into the bright baby store, the racks of clothes surrounding them.

"We've been in here before Brooke." Peyton shoved at the clothes, a grimace on her face.

"Maybe you need to see it through a different pair of eyes." She shrugged, flipping the clothes apart quickly, her eyes darting.

Haley eyes locked on a familiar figure, and her mind clicked into place, the idea settling. "Or maybe we've just been looking in the wrong place."

"Wait till you see everything I got." Haley set down her shopping bags on the bed beside Nathan.

Nathan looked over the numerous bags, "Looks like you bought out all of Charlotte."

Haley giggled, "Not hardly. We did finally find a theme for the baby though."

"Really? What did Peyton pick?" Nathan settled back against the pillows, his fingers clasped behind his head.

"I remembered that Lucas always loved the classic story of Peter Pan. So we went to that old bookstore on Lincoln that I've dragged you into. You know which one I mean?" Nathan nodded. "Well we went in there and found an antique version, completely with oil pictures. It's gorgeous. So Peyton's taking it home for Lucas, and she thinks she'll be able to recreate some of the scenes for the nursery." She smiled brightly. "Doesn't that sound perfect?"

Nathan smiled back, "It does. I'm sure Lucas will love it." His eyes moved over the various bags. "What else did you get? Anything for me?" He grinned, his eyes hopeful.

Haley smirked slowly, her fingers grasping the handle of one small light blue bag. "I think this one might be for you." She held the bag out to him, watched as his hands took it from her excitedly.

"What'd you get me?"

"Just look and find out." She smiled, moving to sit beside him on the bed, her arm coming across his body.

Nathan peered inside the bag, pulling apart the tissue paper that surrounded the gift. His eyes lit up when his fingers slid against the lacy material. He pulled the black, lacy teddy from the bag, his eyes glinting. "Is it my birthday?"

Haley laughed, her lips itching to be against his. "No, but I think it is your lucky day."

He held up the thin gauze of lace and satin, his mind imagining just how she would look in it. Not wanting to delay the viewing for much longer. Nathan leaned over, his mouth sliding against hers, and he felt her shiver, felt her body tremble. Her fingers ran over his arm and down to this hand, pulling the lace from his hands.

"Just give me a minute." She slipped from the bed, moving into the bathroom, closing the door with a sharp click.

Nathan hopped off the bed, pulling back the covers quickly. His heart beat wildly in anticipation, and he glanced down at his jeans, wrestling with whether or not he should remove them. He pulled at the button, lowering the zipper quickly, before pushing them off.

He felt nervous and shy. His heart continued to pound in his chest and he wiped his palms against the cotton of his shirt. Being with Haley, feeling the anticipation, the build up of her presence, he felt it surrounding him. His heart soared with every second, his mind trying to recall the last time she had worn lingerie for him. She wasn't one to parade around in lingerie or wear it on any day other than a special occasion, but she was more comfortable in one of his old t-shirts, the cotton almost worn through. And if he was being truthful, he found her sexiest like that.

He could still remember the first time she wore lingerie for him, and he felt himself grow tight at the memory. It had been the night of his bachelor party and she had been worried all day long. Looking back, it had seemed like she had every right to be nervous, especially when Tim was the one doing the planning. He had practically forced the stripper into her car, telling her that no matter how good she was at NBA Live, there was only one girl he wanted parading around in her underwear, and it most certainly was not her.

Haley had come home shortly after, her footsteps loud against the wooden steps. She had smiled happily, her whole demeanor loose and happy. She had been drinking, of that he knew right away, and giving that she had been with Peyton and Brooke all evening, he shouldn't have been that surprised.

She had swung a little pink bag behind her, her hands clutching nervously at the handle before she walked into the bedroom, her very walk beckoning him to follow her. He had raced around the living room, turning out all the lights, the only one remaining in the hall. When he had come to the bedroom doorway and saw her sitting there amongst the pillows, her hair framing her beautifully, he had been overcome with joy. His want and need for her collided in that one solitary moment and he had pulled off his shirt where he stood, fisting his hands in the t-shirt before discarding it on the floor.

He was across the room in mere moments, his body laid across hers, not a breath between them. She had kissed him hungrily, her mouth wet and intoxicating, her taste of champagne and chocolate mesmerizing, and he had wanted to drink her up, taste every inch of her.

And then she was sliding away, grabbing again for that pink bag, only this time with that sexy smirk on her face, her hair swinging. She had thrown him a grin, telling him he was going to love the homework, and then she was gone, locked behind the bathroom door as she was now.

He had been rewarded ten fold when she emerged, her hair in soft waves around her almost bare shoulders, the pink and black lace of her teddy riding high on her thighs. He had been shocked, frozen in place at the sight of her, and he could tell she was nervous. Her hands played with the lace trim, unaware of the way it made the material ride up and gave him a clear view of her smooth thigh.

He had stood slowly, closing the distance between them, his hands moving to frame her face. He had kissed her, once, twice, slowly, and felt the tension ease off her skin and settle into contentment. He had pushed the thin straps off her shoulders and feasted, had tasted that delicate skin, and she had pushed against him, hungry for more.

She had lost the nerves, lost the inhibition, and she had shown him all she felt, all she wanted, and in her, he was lost.

The door opened slowly now and she emerged, the sight of her reminiscent of that first time, and Nathan felt his heart give a long, slow squeeze. She was breathtaking. Her golden hair fell in a long column along her back, her skin the same silky pink, her body silhouetted through the thin satin of the teddy by the backlight of the bathroom.

Her face broke out in a wide smile, a look that was completely tantalizing and Nathan felt his breath go, the wind in his sails falter. She locked eyes with him, the brown of them swirling with want and need and he hoped his own showed even a fraction of their passion. She walked slowly, her hips swaying seductively, to move across the bedroom, his presence tall and powerful against the bed.

She raised a hand, grabbing his in hers, moving their now joined hands to slide against the satin caressing her stomach, his fingers feeling the silky texture against her. His eyes caressed her face, her body, wanting to remember this moment for what it was, a moment of peace and stillness against the chaos of life, of sadness and of hope. She was showing him, showing him all she had, all she wanted, and he took it, never hesitating in his descent.

He cupped her through the satin, felt the material warm against his palm even as her body puckered. She pushed back roughly against his palm, wanting him to surround her, to pulse and tighten within her.

His head descended, his mouth gliding smoothly along her jaw, his tongue slipping out between his lips to suck at her ear. She muttered, moaning his name in reverence, and her hands fisted at his waist, her body gaining support from his.

She pushed him back, wanting all of him at her access, wanting to taste every glorious inch of his well sculpted body. She always saw his body as such a paradox; the strong and lean muscles that lay beneath that soft skin, the power that he held in the length of his body. She stood before him, even as his hands pulled her closer, instead pulling his t-shirt up and over his head, relishing the way the bathroom light lit across their bodies from the crack in the door.

His eyes flashed an arctic blue, the depths of them flickered with lust and love, the pleasure he felt for her building slowly as she felt his body respond beneath her. She hovered above him, moving to sit in his lap, her thighs straddling his, and the thin satin rode high on her legs as his hands guided her down on him. He hissed out a deep breath before she captured his mouth roughly, no longer wanting soft and gentle, but wanting to taste the sweet taste of him.

He shuddered out a breath as her nail raked over his nipple, and he looked at her through heavy lidded eyes. "You have no idea how much I need you."

Haley smiled, loving the husky tone of his voice, and with her lips pressed against his, she spoke, "Almost as much as I need you. You're it for me." She rolled her hips once, felt another long shudder run through his body.

He kissed her huskily then, his tongue lapping against hers, and she pushed back, just as hungry for him, and there were no thoughts of pregnancy or babies, no thought other than the need to feel him with her, and she wanted nothing more than to be with him.

"You've always been it for me, Hales. Always. Always and forever. Do you feel it?" His mouth latched onto her ear, his words hot against her flesh. "Do you feel it?"

She shivered, wanting more all at once, her mind foggy against his words. "Feel what?"

He hesitated, his mouth pushing against hers one more time, his tongue rubbing against hers in hungry circles. She quivered, shaking, the pleasure knotting deep within her, and she tried to focus on his mouth, the words slipping through his lips, the sound a sweet melody to her ears.

"Fate."


	5. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

"Move over!" Nathan bit out harshly.

"I'm not even next to you, so would you stop yelling at me. If Haley wants more room, she can ask, otherwise shut up!" Brooke snapped back from her seat behind Lucas, her voice rising slightly.

Nathan glared over Haley to look at Brooke in the cramped backseat. "Haley's just too nice to say anything."

"No, don't even think about bringing me into this." Haley glared at the two of them, her arms crossed plainly against her chest.

"I didn't involve you. That would have been your _lovely_ husband." Brooke through out huffily.

"Brooke." Haley spoke simply, giving her friend a warning.

Brooke straightened, her body turning to look Nathan in the eye. "I'm sorry, but you can be a royal ass, and that's exactly how you're acting right now."

"I can't help it that I'd much rather be in my own car than crammed in the backseat with you." Nathan shot back.

Lucas and Peyton chuckled from the front seat, all but staying out of the conflict in the back. They had been on the road for nearly two hours on their way to Tree Hill and Brooke and Nathan had been fighting for the majority of the time. Poor Haley had been the one caught in the middle, and it appeared her tolerance had run out.

"God! Will you two please shut up?" Haley finally exploded between her husband and her friend. "I'm so sick of you two bickering."

Nathan glanced down, surprised by Haley's sudden outburst. She met his eyes with a frosty glare, clearly telling him all she felt in that moment. He had the decency to look chagrin.

"Sorry Hales." He murmured quietly.

She still didn't smile, though her eyes were kinder. "I'm not the one you should be apologizing to."

Nathan's eyes widened. "But, I…" He looked at Brooke.

"You don't have to apologize, Nathan. I was being a bitch too. Truce?" She stuck out her hand.

Nathan took it briefly, shaking. "Well I am sorry."

Brooke smiled, "Me too."

"Thank God!" Peyton yelled from the passenger seat. "I thought you two would never stop fighting."

"You can thank our little peacemaker." Nathan tentatively gave Haley a smile, his eyes expressing his apology.

Lucas laughed, "That's why we put her in the middle."

Haley smiled at Nathan, mouthing an 'I love you' before looking up at Lucas and Peyton. "So how much longer you think till we get to town?"

Peyton sniggered, "Well since Luke is auditioning for _Driving Miss Daisy 2_, I'd say sometime next century."

"Thanks a lot honey." Lucas shot back as the backseat laughed. "Can I help that I want to make sure we arrive there in one piece?" He ran his free hand over her belly.

"Awww!" Brooke sighed.

"Yeah my guy is getting sentimental in his old age." Peyton quipped but her eyes glistened with fresh tears.

Lucas pulled the car off the highway, the familiar streets of Tree Hill stretching ahead of them. He threw them a look, before turning the car, the bright colored awning of Karen's Cafe standing against the gray of the building.

"It looks just the same." Brooke looked out the window happily.

"Brooke, how did you expect it to look?" Haley smiled.

Shrugging, she threw open her door. "I don't know. I just figured since I hadn't been back in awhile, it would look different." She took a long look. "I'm glad it doesn't."

Lucas pulled open Peyton's door, helping her out of the passenger side. His hand wrapped around her shoulders protectively, "Mom's too nostalgic to change much."

Nathan slid out of the backseat, extending a hand to pull Haley out behind him. The five of them stood outside Karen's, their thoughts each taking them in a different direction.

"Are you guys going to just stand out there all day, or are you coming in?" Karen stuck her head out the door, her smile wide and welcoming.

Peyton and Lucas rushed forward, pulling open the door to hug Karen tightly, ignoring the various customers scattered at tables enjoying their lunch. Brooke followed eagerly, happy to see Karen, and Karen hugged her happily, glad to see the bubbly brunette.

Nathan moved to join them, his strides long, before turning to look at Haley. She stood in the same spot, an unreadable expression on her face as she gazed through the front window of Karen's, the silhouette of Peyton, Lucas and Karen visible against the backdrop of the counter. He stood where he was, watching her, not wanting to break her thoughts, and he swung his hands uselessly at his sides before shoving them deep into his pockets. He felt sixteen in that moment, watching her, wanting her, and not knowing what to say. He had always bumbled with words back then, with her, and he knew in a lot of ways that boy was still in him. He could handle any press conference, any reporter's prying questions with ease but she alone had the power to make him feel like he had back then, like he didn't know exactly what to say.

Her eyes were soft, and he could tell she wasn't really looking, she wasn't seeing the café as it was now, but instead of how it once was, her teenage self wiping down the counters night after night, a girl completely secure with her future, with her life, without any of the future trials weighing on her mind.

She blinked, once, twice, and then turned to look at him, her eyes large and weary. He gave her a smile, one he hoped was reassuring, and she returned it tentatively. She moved to his side, wrapping her arm delicately around his waist, her nose pressed into the collar of his shirt. "Nathan."

He leaned down, pressing his lips to hers, feeling the softness of her, "I know."

"Haley! Nathan! Get your butts in here." Karen shouted out to them.

She chuckled, moving away from him to hug Karen fiercely, and his eyes followed her, watched the way she smiled at Karen, the way Karen pulled her into another hug. Karen spoke quickly to her, and she saw Haley smile brightly and nod and he only wished he could keep her that way.

"Where'd Haley disappear to?" Karen slid onto the stool next to Nathan, placing a cup of warm coffee in front of him.

He took the mug gratefully, inhaling the sharp, bitter aroma before sipping. "The bathroom."

Karen nodded, her eyes moving to the storage room before she fixed her gaze on Nathan. "How've you guys been? Lucas said you guys went to Hawaii."

Nathan nodded, "Yeah, we went to Maui after the season ended. Just needed to get away."

"I can understand that. You deserved a vacation. I was sorry I missed seeing you when I came up to visit awhile back. But I'm sure Hawaii was much better."

Nathan laughed, "Well I can't deny that, but I know Haley was sad she was going to miss your visit. We don't get out here as much as we'd thought."

Karen smiled, "Yeah well I can imagine what with Haley's parents still driving the country and Deb living in Charlotte near you guys, there isn't much reason to come out here."

"Your pie is reason enough." He gestured to his now cleared plate. "But I know Haley wishes she could see you more, especially since her parents are always on the road."

"She knows she's always welcome. You are too. You're family."

Nathan smiled briefly, his eyes searching his mug. "Thanks Karen, that means a lot."

Karen nodded, "Nathan, is everything alright?"

"Thought I might find you up here."

Haley turned, startled. "Just wanted to see if it was still up here."

Lucas smiled. "Why wouldn't it be?"

Haley fingered the outline of the brick, her fingernails scratching against it lightly. She shrugged, "I don't know, I guess I just thought if we weren't here, it wouldn't be either."

"Remember graduation night?"

Haley laughed, "Are you kidding? Of course I remember it. The four of us up here. You dragging Peyton up here to read our predictions."

Lucas nodded, his body leaning against the solid brick behind him. "Yeah. That was a good night. And if I remember correctly, you actually got your prediction right."

She smiled, "Yeah. Nathan and I both did."

"I always thought it said something that you guys wrote the same thing down. That you'd be together again." He spoke softly, his eyes concerned. "Hales."

Her eyes broke then, the tears falling freely from her eyes. She folded over, her body curling to protect itself, and he dropped beside her, pulling her into him, letting her despair fall across him in hot tears. He rubbed at her head softly, his hand moving softly across the hair that had fallen as her cries continued. She tired quickly, the sounds no longer audible as she breathed heavily beside him, her head pressed into his shoulder.

She straightened, her eyes trained ahead of her and she didn't speak, didn't move, and he followed her lead, not wanting to break the silence.

"I'm sorry Luke."

"You know you don't need to apologize." He rubbed her arm briefly. "How are you and Nathan?"

Haley closed her eyes briefly, taking a long breath. "You must think I'm so selfish."

"What?"

"You and Peyton are about to start a family and I'm worrying about my own stuff. You know I'm happy for you guys, right?"

"Haley!" Lucas spoke abruptly, causing Haley to look at him. "I know you're happy for us, but you have every reason to feel what you're feeling. You want a baby, that's nothing to apologize for."

She sighed, "I can't help it. I see how happy you and Peyton are. I see how excited you are, and I want it too. I want that for Nathan and myself. I want that too Lucas. Sometimes it's all I can think about."

"I don't know." Nathan sighed heavily.

Karen ran a hand along Nathan's back, her eyes kind. "You know you can talk to me if you need to. I'm not just Luke's mom."

Nathan smiled ruefully, "Yeah I know. I'm just worried about Haley." He fiddled with his mug again, the ceramic sliding across the countertop.

Karen sat silently, waiting for Nathan to continue.

"We're trying to have a baby." He let out a long breath.

"And it's not happening the way either of you had thought?"

He nodded, "Pretty much. We had talked about it. We knew that it would take time, but I still think in the back of her head, Haley thought it would happen right away for us. And now each day is another day without a chance, another day she sees as a disappointment, and I hate seeing her like this. I never know what to say anymore to help her, or give her encouragement, and I know how this is eating at her. I can see it in her eyes. She doesn't smile like she used to."

"Nathan."

"I just want to put the light back in her, see my Haley again; the Haley who brings me the newspaper with the sports page folded on top. The girl who sings so loud in the shower, it's the first thing I hear when I wake up. My Haley who plays video games with me, even if she doesn't know what she's doing, just so she can spend the afternoon with me. I miss her. Karen, I see her everyday, and I miss her. I miss seeing her laugh, seeing the smile reach her eyes. I want to give her a reason to smile again."

Karen smiled sadly, moved by the emotions that laced Nathan's voice. "She'll have that reason Nathan. But you have to remember, Haley's always been hardest on herself. If you're feeling all of this, just imagine what she's feeling. She probably not only is feeling her own disappointment, but she's most likely worried she's disappointing you as well."

Nathan tensed visibly, and his eyes grew hard. "She wouldn't think that, would she? She can't think I'd be disappointed in her."

"I know he's disappointed." Her voice shook.

"I don't know if that's true, Hales."

Haley shook her head, "It is. I can tell. He wants a baby as much as I do, and everyday that I'm not pregnant I can feel the sadness creep in, the emptiness. I don't like letting him down."

Lucas frowned, "I don't think you're giving him enough credit. I've seen him Hales, if anything, he's worried about you. He loves you Haley, he wants you to be happy above anything else, and he knows how much this means to you. If he's disappointed, it's because he can't do more for you."

"I know. I know you're right. It's just- I feel so many things all the time Luke. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, and I'll hear him breathing next to me, and all I want to do is turn towards him, feel the strength he gives me, and yet I feel myself turn away. I don't know why, but it's almost like I feel I don't deserve it. I love him so much, and I just hate that I'm feeling all of this."

"Have you talked to him about this Haley? I mean, have you two really sat down and talked about all this? I don't just mean about having a baby, but have you talked about how you're feeling? How he's feeling?"

Haley rubbed at her eyes tiredly, "No. I don't know what to say. I don't know what I want him to say, what I want to hear. But I know I have to talk to him. I don't like knowing he's feeling like this too."

"Nathan wants to help you Hales. He wants to be there for you. And it will happen for you guys, it's meant to happen for you. I really believe that." Lucas slung his arm around Haley's shoulders pulling her into a tight hug. "I love you Hales, but you need to give your husband the chance to help you."

Haley pulled back her eyes glittering yet again with unshed tears and she nodded. "I know. Thanks Luke."

"I don't know Nathan, but I do know that you need to talk to her. If she's hurting as much as you say she is, then she needs you and she needs to know what you're thinking. She's probably blaming herself for a lot."

Nathan closed his eyes slowly, breathing in deeply. "Thanks Karen, I appreciate you listening. It was nice to talk to someone else about it all."

"You're welcome. And you know I'm always here to help you two out. Whenever." She gave him a quick hug before sliding off the stool to move to where Peyton and Brooke sat talking.

Nathan ran a tired hand over his face, pulling at his bottom lip. Haley always laughed whenever he did that, told him to stop being nervous and say whatever it was he needed to say. He wished she was here beside him, teasing him about it now. Glancing around he saw she had never returned from the bathroom and following a hunch he moved through the back, taking the roof stairs two at a time, eager to see her.

The roof door swung open loudly, the metal rattling against the hinges and he saw her there, her back against the brick wall, Lucas sitting next to her. His brother gave him a comforting smile before squeezing Haley's hand to leave them alone on the roof. He hesitated in front of Nathan, his arm reaching out in a brotherly pat before he was gone, leaving the way Nathan had entered.

Nathan stayed where he stood, his weight shifting nervously from foot to foot. She looked up at him, her eyes large and wide, and she smiled, a sad, heartbreaking smile that had him beside her. Lowering himself against the wall, his body close, she turned into him without hesitation, her body molding against his side. Her arms banded around his waist, pulling her body flush against his and he felt her pulse quicken.

"I'm sorry Nathan." Her voice was barely above a whisper and he could hear the tears that threatened to spill.

"Hales." He pressed a kiss to her temple.

She pulled back then, not wanting to break contact, but wanting to gain reassurance from his eyes. "No please, let me say this." He nodded slowly and she paused, wanting to choose her words. "I love you. So much. And these past couple of months have been some of the best and worst moments for me. I've always wanted a baby with you. Someone we could grow out of the two of us. But I never imagined it would be this hard. Never." She blinked back a new cascade of tears and Nathan felt his own eyes well at the sight.

"I guess I just figured when we decided to try for a family it would happen, no hesitation. I never fully prepared myself for this wait, for the hopeless desperation that comes each month. And I'm sorry if I've been pulling away or if I've left you feeling disappointed or sad. It's just, sometimes I don't know what to feel, I'm trying to sort through everything at once, and I couldn't bare it if you looked at me and saw something else."

Nathan kissed her quickly, his mouth pressing against hers passionately, wanting to give her some of the assurance he knew she needed, wanting her to feel everything he felt for her all the time. "I could never think that. If anything, I've been worried about you. About what you're going through. I love you too much to see you in so much pain. I feel like I never know what to say to make you feel better. And that's all I want. I want to see you happy Hales, and I feel like you haven't been happy in awhile."

Haley shook her head quickly. "It's not a matter of being happy Nathan. I wish it were as simple as that. But, it's like I'm constantly battling with all these emotions inside of me. I don't know what to feel or say to make it better, but I've never, not even for a second, been unhappy when I'm with you. I don't want you to ever feel that. I just want this so bad for us Nathan. What if something's wrong?"

The way she looked at him then, her eyes large and weary, her teeth tugging at the corner of her mouth, her hair swept across her shoulders in waves, he felt the fear dampen around them and he struggled to keep his voice even.

"When it's meant to happen, it'll happen. I really believe that." His voice was strong and confident.

Haley smiled then, his words hitting their intended target and she nodded, her mind a little lighter, her brow clearing, even if it was only to last but a brief time. She leaned forward, her lips pressing against his invitingly, her tongue pushing between his lips to seek entrance. He opened willingly, wanting comfort as much as he needed to give it, and he felt her hands fisting in his hair, pulling him tightly against her. He pushed her back, her body scraping against the rough brick as she pushed up against him, his body solid and strong against hers.

She needed this, needed his touch, his warmth, his love, and she knew he needed it as well, needed the desperate sensation coursing through him, he needed to be needed.

His hands grappled with her shirt, pulling the cotton away from her, the cool air raising goose bumps across her flesh. She felt a fire burning beneath the surface even as the air whipped around them and she wanted him completely, all at once. She needed to feel this, to feel connected to him in this moment, to believe in something bigger than them.

It was pulsing around them, beating against the sadness and despair that threatened to envelope them, and it broke through, the light clearing, even if just for a moment.

It was blinding and as they pushed each other over the edge, the sensations powerful and all-encompassing, he was the one thing on her mind in that moment.


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

"Peyton!" Lucas yelled up the stairs for the fifth time in as many minutes. He stood pacing along the bottom of the staircase, his hands thrust in his pockets.

Haley chuckled from the doorway, watching the way Lucas continued to pace, his face a picture of frustration and concern.

"I'm coming! God, you would think a woman can't pee without the cavalry being called." Peyton appeared at the top of the stairs, her hands fisted at her waist. She gave Lucas a pointed glare before she made her way down slowly.

Lucas gave her an exasperated look. "I can't help that I worry when you don't answer." He extended his hand, which she took gratefully, and Haley felt the smile on her face grow at the sight of her two best friends.

"Well there's no need to worry. Your kid just likes to dance on my bladder." Peyton rubbed her hands across her belly, which seemed to grow with each passing moment, and Haley's eyes drifted to a spot on the wall. Peyton looked over at Haley, saw the way she kept her gaze off her and Lucas, and smiled sadly at Lucas.

"So, Hales, are you sure you want to spend the afternoon with us? Because Lucas can be really annoying." She laughed as Lucas yelped in indignation. "But that's what I love most about you." Peyton leaned over, giving him a soothing kiss.

"Sounds like you've been brainwashed." Haley quipped from the doorway, earning her an amused glare from Lucas and a giggle from Peyton. "But there's no one else I'd rather hang out with on an afternoon when Nathan is busy." She smiled brightly.

"Oh! Look at her!" Peyton laughed happily, glad to see a bit of the old Haley sparkle back in her eyes. "But I will take that as a compliment." She moved towards the door, pulling her purse over her shoulder. "Now, let's get out of here. I'm starving!"

"Thanks for meeting me Nathan. Where's Haley?" Dan stood as Nathan approached, his mouth turned up in a brief smile.

Nathan nodded, sitting quickly across from his father. "She's spending the day with Lucas and Peyton." Nathan watched the reaction on his father, saw the indifference at the mention of his other son, and his fists curled instinctually.

"Oh, well send her my best." Nathan rolled his eyes as Dan moved to study the wine list, his eyes perusing the choices.

Nathan looked around at the plush setting of the restaurant, the linen table cloths and dark wood chairs. Leave it to Dan to pick a restaurant based on status, rather than quality. He sighed heavily, not wanting to spend his entire afternoon locked in a power struggle with his father.

Over the years he had reached an end pass with his father, knowing that change was unlikely, and while he and Haley tried to limit their interaction with Dan, there were times when it seemed like the Dan Scott of old was dead and buried, and Nathan couldn't wasn't sure what to make of it.

But then there were times when he could sense it, when Nathan just knew that his father was about to return to old habits, like today, and he tried to be clear of the blast zone.

It appeared today wasn't one of those days.

"So what's up Dad? You made it seem like it was really important when you called yesterday." Nathan cut to the chase, bypassing any uncomfortable small talk.

Dan lowered the wine list, his eyes appraising Nathan, seeing the resolution in his son's eyes. "I want to talk to you about your brother."

"This has to be the best burger I've ever had." Peyton sighed happily, her eyes rolling back as she took another large bite.

Lucas met Haley's eyes across the table, a small smirk on his lips, which Peyton was quick to notice.

"Don't think I don't see that Lucas Scott." Her tone was stern and Lucas's eyes turned wide. "I don't need you making fun of me. I'm hungry, and you can thank your kid for that." She bit into a fry harshly, her teeth snapping, and Haley noticed how quick Lucas was to soothe.

"I know Pey, I'm sorry. I'm just not used to you raving about food yet. You used to be so picky, I just have to get used to it." He kissed her temple, feeling her ease against him.

"I know. I don't mean to snap at you. I just don't want you to think of me as some fat butt who will eat everything in sight. Even if that's exactly what I want to do right now." She shrugged.

Lucas's eyes met Peyton's, his face soft and loving, and Haley immediately felt like a third wheel. "I love you Peyton. You're gorgeous, and the fact that you're having our baby only makes you all the more beautiful." His hand moved to caress her belly, his eyes locked on hers. Peyton blushed under his words, her lips capturing his quickly.

Haley looked away, focusing intently on the sandwich in front of her. Her heart clenched at the words murmured by her best friend. Why couldn't that be her and Nathan? Why couldn't they be the ones sharing a happy lunch, alternating between pregnant mood swings and loving looks? The guilt settled over her even as her mind turned envious. It was infuriating to feel all these things, to know that you wanted something so badly, yet to feel envious that your friends had all you had hoped for.

A part of her knew she was being foolish. It was understandable to feel envious when you saw the people you loved, your family, enjoying the feeling of joy that surrounded starting a new family. It was all she wanted, all she could think about most of the time, and to see it everyday, to see it with someone else. It broke her heart.

And while part of her was envious, the greater portion of her, the part that pushed down her anger at herself, was ecstatic for Lucas and Peyton, and what they were beginning together.

Ever since her talk with Nathan on the roof of the café only a week ago, Haley had felt less pressure about their situation. It helped knowing that Nathan supported her, that they had talked about things. It wasn't easy, waking up and knowing the one thing you longed for seemed to be out of your reach, but Nathan's word reassured her, and she found herself saying them, over and over, for the past week. _When it's meant to happen, it'll happen._

He believed it. She could see it every time she looked into his eyes and saw the constant faith that swirled there.

Peyton pulled away from Lucas, chagrin that they were subjecting Haley to their behavior, and saw the sheer calmness of her friend's face. Haley's emotions had been all over the place these last few months, but today she seemed different, settled, at peace. Peyton could see her mind still swirled with doubts, with thoughts, but in her eyes she held something else, something real.

Hope.

Nathan slammed his car door, hurrying up the front steps to the door, knocking briefly before striding through the doorway, his footsteps loud on the hardwood floors. "Hello?" He called into the seemingly empty house.

"In the back!" Came the sudden reply, and he followed the voice, moving through the living room before he could hear the laughter coming from the kitchen.

They sat spread out around the table, glasses in front of them, their excited voices bouncing off the bright kitchen walls. Haley noticed him first, her eyes lighting up at the sight of him, all but bouncing out of her seat to greet him. He felt the smile explode on his face at the sight of her, felt the tension of his day slip away at just a glimpse of her smile. She rose on her toes to kiss him solidly, her body sliding along the length of his, and he banded his arms around her.

"Hey." She spoke softly, her lips a mere whisper against his.

Nathan felt any lingering anger dissipate at the feel of her in his arms, and he ducked his head to blow at her hair. "Hey."

"Alright you two, break it up." Peyton smiled happily, raising her glass to take sip. "Sit down Nate, take a load off."

Nathan pulled out Haley's chair for her, before settling into the chair beside her. "Thanks." He let out a weary sigh.

"Rough day?" Lucas piped up, his arm stretched out along the back of Peyton's chair, his fingers pulling the strands of her hair around his knuckles.

Nathan leaned back heavily, shutting his eyes briefly. "Yeah. You could say that." He felt Haley slip her hand in his, felt the way she tightened her grip on him.

"Everything okay?" Peyton smiled.

He nodded quickly, "Yeah I just had lunch with Dan. Let's just say it could've gone better."

Haley's eyes grew concerned. "Are you okay?"

Nathan nodded. "Yeah. I am now." He tightened his hold on her hand, his fingers flexing in hers. He winked at Haley, her smile growing. "What did you guys do all day?"

Peyton laughed, "We bored Haley with our happy family routine. Luke here couldn't keep his hands to himself."

"Oh, my poor girl." He pulled Haley closer to his side, her body leaning into his side.

Haley nodded grimly, "It was pure torture. They kept kissing and touching. I tried to tell Peyton that I have it on good authority that Lucas has cooties, but she didn't believe me."

Nathan and Peyton broke out in laughter as Lucas feigned indignation. "What is this, National Pick on Lucas Day? Are we going to start celebrating it every year?"

"Nah man, every day is pick on Lucas day." Nathan laughed as his brother flipped him off.

Peyton wrapped her arm around Lucas's neck, kissing him noisily on the cheek. "They do it because they love you baby. And because you're an easy target."

"Not you, too!" Lucas grumbled good-naturedly.

"I love you honey." Peyton pulled his chin to kiss him on the mouth, and Haley smiled at her friends, happy next to Nathan, to feel the solidness of him beside her, soothing her in his presence, and she let out a deep breath she hadn't been aware she was holding.

"Do you want to talk about what happened with Dan?" Haley spoke up from bed, her voice carrying to where he stood in the bathroom brushing his teeth.

Nathan leaned over to spit out the toothpaste before turning to meet her eyes. "I don't know why I let him bother me."

Haley said nothing, just watched him with compassionate eyes, and Nathan flicked off the light, moving to lie beside her in bed. "Every time he calls, I tell myself I'm not going to get sucked in, I'm not going to let him get to me. But then I see him, and I feel like I'm sixteen all over again."

Haley curled into his side, her head settling in the crook of his shoulder. Nathan rubbed his arm up and down her back softly, needing to touch her as much as she needed him to touch her.

"What did he do today that upset you?"

Nathan let out a long breath, "He wanted to talk to me about Lucas."

Haley's startled eyes met his. "What?"

"That was pretty much my reaction. I mean, all these years, he's had the chance to get to know Lucas. Time and time again he's had opportunities: high school graduation, college graduation, their wedding, our wedding. Over and over again, he could have reached out to Lucas. But he chooses now."

Haley nodded, her mind reeling. "Is it because Peyton's pregnant?"

"Yeah." Nathan recalled Dan's words, the tone he used when speaking of Lucas and Peyton. "He wanted to know how I thought Lucas would react if he wanted to take them out to dinner, try and make amends. He knows he needs to make up for past behavior, but he wants to make the right first step. I told him that it was Luke's decision, and that he would have to just try, but I think he wanted more of an answer from me. Do you think I did the right thing?"

He looked down at her, his eyes eager for her opinion. Haley sat up, turning to face him, even as her body shivered at the loss of heat his body provided.

"I know how hard it is to talk to your father, especially when he's talking about Lucas. But I do think you did what was right. When it all comes down to it, it's Lucas and Peyton's decision to make. All we can hope is that whatever Dan's intentions are, they're the right ones."

Nathan nodded softly, his eyes staring off to the right, his brow furrowed. "Yeah I hope they are." He met her eyes again, his smile soft. "Enough about Dan. How are you today? I feel like I haven't seen you."

Haley settled back against his side. "I'm good. It was nice to hang out with Lucas and Peyton, but I missed you."

"You could have come with me to lunch." He teased.

"Now why did I want to miss that? Oh, right." Haley snapped her fingers. "Dan."

"So true. But what did you guys do? Are you okay?"

Haley thought back to earlier, how she had felt watching Lucas and Peyton, wishing that her and Nathan could share in those same milestones. It was hard not to think about it, to know that they were still trying to have a baby, and yet another part of her was sick of the way it had become her sole focus. It was unfair to her, unfair to Nathan, and yet it was what she wanted most.

She wanted a baby. She wanted it for them, and everyday it didn't happen, she felt the pain tighten its hold around her heart. She felt lost in her emotions, lost in the battle that waged inside her, her mind flipping between moods like a ping pong ball. She wanted to be happy, she was sick of feeling depressed and empty, and she knew Nathan had to be sick of it too.

"Hales?" He spoke patiently, watching the present flood back into her eyes.

"It's hard to be around them sometimes. I love them, they're our best friends, and you would think after last week at Karen's, I would feel like I was in a better place, but each day that passes, it gets a little harder. I can't help the feelings that wage inside me. I worry that something's wrong. I don't know what I'd do if something was wrong Nathan."

He didn't know what to say, didn't know what she needed to hear, because in truth, he felt the same way. The waiting was getting harder every day, and as he looked into her eyes now, and saw the fear the clouded the brown, he knew she needed reassurance, from him.

"All we can do is wait, Hales. Wait and see. But you have to know, that no matter what, we have each other. Nothing else matters." He kissed her, his lips caressing hers in soft subtle motion, his hope in giving her a little bit of what he felt.

Haley kissed him back, her mouth moving slowly under his, and she felt calm and peaceful, a feeling that came simply by being around him, by being with him.

Rising on her knees, Haley moved to straddle his hips, to feel the strength of his thighs beneath her. She drew him close, their middles pressed tightly together, as their lips met in a slow and deep kiss, their tongues pushing against each others. She sought comfort in his lips, in his body, and she knew he would give it willingly, give her everything he had.

Stripping down the pain and grief that had settled around them like a thick blanket, Haley moved closer to Nathan, felt the way his hands streaked across her skin, felt the way his mouth moved over hers, across her lips and jaw, along her neck and collar, and her hands fisted in his hair, grappling to push him closer to her.

"I love you." She breathed the words out, the very cadence of them riding on a moan as his mouth moved lower to pull one breast into his mouth, his tongue circling lightly.

He raised his head, his eyes a deep cobalt blue, "I love you Haley. I love you."

And she knew, nothing else mattered.


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

Was it possible?

Her eyes scanned again, took in the blank box, the red circle that mark the usual day and found it empty of any other marking. Her hand shook as she lightly traced the number, the date bold in the right corner of the calendar. She counted back mentally, saw that indeed it was possible.

Could she be pregnant?

A flutter of excitement stirred in her belly and she pressed an unsteady hand to her stomach, wondering if their baby was already growing there, deep within her, her body nurturing their child.

Haley's brown eyes locked on the wall, her mind racing as the reality of the situation settled in, the idea that all of their anxiety and stress could possibly be coming to an end.

She was one week late. Seven days. Seven long days that she had only realized this morning. How much longer would she have gone on, completely oblivious to the fact that she had missed her monthly period, if it hadn't been for Dan calling, wanting to set up a dinner with them and Lucas and Peyton?

Her lips trembled again, and she pressed them tightly together, her hands gripping the arms of her chair. Was this it? Was fate finally dealing them the joy of having a child? She felt a feeling of calm and peace settle around her, cloak her in its warmth, and she knew, in that moment, it was true.

Jumping out of her chair, she ran to the phone, dialing the numbers of Nathan's cell phone hurriedly. He had left early that morning to get in a workout with some guys from the team in preparation for the team training camp next month. She heard it ring once, twice, three times before he clicked on the line, his voice tired and listless.

"Hello?"

"Nathan!" She said his name excitedly, the news all but bubbling out of her.

"Hey honey." He didn't seem to hear the pleasure in her voice, for his own remained low and loose. "What's up?"

What did she say? Did she just blurt it out over the phone? _Nathan, I think I'm pregnant._ Did she give hints, coaxing him into figuring out? Or did she simply beg him to get home as soon as possible? Haley's mind raced, her mouth opening and closing as the words refused to come.

"Haley? You still there baby?" Nathan broke in, worriedly.

"Yeah, sorry. Um, how long till you get home?" She decided that telling him in person was the best way to go, rather than springing this on him now.

He sighed, "I don't know. Some of the guys were talking about doing some extra weight training, so I may be another hour or so. I'd much rather be at home with you."

Haley giggled. "Well I'd rather have you be here too."

"Oh really?" Nathan's voice took on its normal tone, the smirk all but engraved in the words. "That sounds promising."

"It definitely would be." Haley giggled again, her hand pressing low on her abdomen. "I just really want you to come home."

Nathan sighed, "I want to come home too. Maybe I'll tell the guys I'm going to cut out early. I don't think I need any more weight training."

"You can bench me." Haley laughed loudly as Nathan gasped out a shocked laugh.

"Don't tempt me like that Hales. You know I'm going to take you seriously." His voice was low and gravelly, a sure indication to the effect her words were having on him.

"I love you Nathan, and I think you should take me seriously."

He breathed heavily over the phone, "Hold on." Jostling the phone, he called to someone nearby. "Hey Trevor, I have to head home. Haley's not feeling well. I need to take care of her."

"Liar liar, pants on fire." Haley giggled again into the phone.

"Shut up." He laughed back, "I'm getting the hell out of here. I'll be home in fifteen minutes."

Haley smirked, "I'll be ready and waiting."

Nathan clicked off the phone and Haley laughed loudly again. Well, that had been successful. Leaning back against the counter, she drew in a deep breath.

This was it.

Nathan was on his way home, and she suddenly felt unsure of her news. What if this was a false alarm? What if she wasn't pregnant?

The doubt began to trickle in, the anxiety fisting again in her stomach. She couldn't take this, couldn't take the possibility of this not being real. She had never wanted anything as much as she wanted to have a baby with Nathan, and now, as she sat here at the turning point, all she felt was doubt.

She was simply overanalyzing everything. She had to have faith, have trust in what her body was trying to tell her, and as she began to pace the kitchen, she felt the calm restored.

Never in her life had she wanted something to be truer than this now.

"Haley!" Nathan's voice boomed from the entryway.

Hearing no reply he moved toward the back of the house, making his way to their bedroom. He glanced around the bedroom, saw the deep blue of their comforter pulled back hastily.

"Hales?" He called again, seeing no sign of her in the bedroom. He heard a faint mumble, and he moved towards the sound, pushing open the bathroom door.

She sat there, her back pressed tightly against the wall of the bathroom, her face coursed with tears, her body wracked with sobs. She looked up at him standing in the door way, her eyes large and wet, and Nathan felt his heart break, even as he dropped down beside her.

"Haley? What's wrong baby?" Nathan was shaken, seeing her like this, seemingly broken as she clutched at her knees, pressing them tightly in to her chest, her body swaying slightly forward and backward. Only fifteen minutes ago she had been playful and flirty, but seeing her now, seeing the cold vacant look in her eyes, had his heart drawing up in his chest.

"Please talk to me Hales. Tell me what's wrong. Let me help."

She turned her head to face him, her cheek resting against her knee, her arms still holding onto her legs tightly. "I'm so sorry Nathan."

He bent close, the pads of his fingers brushing the tears away softly, even as more took their place. "What are you apologizing for?"

Squeezing her eyes tight, more tears escaped, and she drew in a shaky breath. She tried to contain a sob, but could do nothing to muffle the agony it held, and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his side, trying to give her the comfort she so desperately seemed to need.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She repeated over and over again, her body coiled tightly around itself, her eyes shut tightly, the tears escaping from the corners. Nathan sat beside her, the only sound the faint ticking of the clock from the wall. He kept his arms tight around her, offering her the only comfort he knew how to give, while his mind raced through the possible reasons she was sitting here, broken and full of despair.

He could think of only one thing, one reason that would have her hunched over sobbing, her body a bag of nerves, and he felt his own body stiffen at the realization.

"Hales." He said her name again, this time pleading with her to talk to him.

She looked up at him through tear soaked eyes, and the look of utter despair broke his heart, the pieces fragmenting into sharp shards.

Her hand moved to pull at the calendar beside her, something he hadn't noticed in his haste to be beside her. He noticed the large red circle surrounding last Monday, and he quickly did the math.

"I was so excited." She spoke softly, her words rough around the sobs that still hiccupped her body.

Nathan lowered his head, resting his forehead on Haley's shoulder, his arms still tight around her. She turned her head into his neck, her breath hot against his neck as she let out another cry.

"Dan called this morning and wanted to see when we were free for dinner. He wants to take us out with Lucas and Peyton. I looked at the calendar, and suddenly I knew, I realized that I was late." She looked up then, pulled his head up to look in his eyes. "I was so happy Nathan. The first clear thought I had was of you. Telling you, sharing the good news with you. So I called you."

She broke eye contact then, pulling away briefly to rub at her arms, her body chilled. "All I could focus on was telling you. I knew how excited you'd be."

"I'm sorry Hales." His voice sounded strained even to him.

"Don't apologize Nathan, please. I love you, but don't apologize." She curled into his side again, her head resting against his chest, her legs draped across his. "I came back here, I wanted to be waiting in here when you came home. God, I had hoped we'd sit on the bed, and I'd tell you I was," her voice broke, "pregnant, and then we'd make love, and spend the rest of the day in bed. Laughing and making love." She began to cry again, her tears quickly soaking the front of his shirt.

"And then I just knew. It was over." She shivered into his side. "We never even got the chance to enjoy it. I'm sorry."

Nathan pulled her closer, wanting her to feel him solid against her, to gain some strength from him even as he felt his own resolve dissolving, diluting as her words reached his ears.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Nathan." She repeated, her body tense against his, her arms tightly fisted in his shirt. "Please, Nathan, I'm sorry."

He didn't know what to say, didn't know what to do to make her feel better, to make the pain lessen in any way. "I love you Haley. I love you, just know that. I love you."

She raised her head, her eyes searching his, even as her lip quivered unhappily. "I always know that. I love you too."

Nathan pressed his lips to hers roughly, tasting the salt of her tears on her lips, and she kissed him back, seeking comfort in his touch. Her arms wrapped around his neck, her body all but molded to his, she pressed herself tightly into his embrace, as her head rested against his shoulder, her body full of despair and loss.

"How's she doing Nate?" Peyton spoke up from the couch, her face etched with grief.

Running a hand roughly over his face, he pulled tiredly at his eyes. "I don't know Peyton. I wish I did. God, I wish I did. She won't talk to me about it. It's been two days and she won't talk about it. Not with me, not with Karen, not with her mom. She just lies in bed and stares off. She's broken and I don't know how to fix her." His voice broke and he leaned over, wiping furiously at the tears that threatened to fall.

Peyton reached over, rubbing a hand over his back, attempting to console him as best she could. "She's just hurting Nathan. She doesn't know how to deal with it all. She was so close to having what she wanted, and it was ripped away from her before she could even tell you about it. I'm sure she's eating up with guilt."

"I just want to talk to her about it. I miss her." He struggled again, his breath coming in long sharp puffs.

"I know you do Nathan. I know you do. Just give her time, she knows you'll be here when she's ready, she just needs to feel steady again." Peyton's eyes cut to the stairs. "Do you think she'd want to see me?" She spoke nervously.

Nathan looked at her, saw the nerves clear in Peyton's eyes. "Of course. You're her best friend."

"I know, I just figured, in my condition, I might be the last person she wants to see right now." She gestured to her ever expanding belly.

Nathan looked off, pondering Peyton's words before he spoke. "No, I think if anyone can reach her right now, it'll be you."

Nodding, Peyton gave Nathan's shoulder one last squeeze before taking the stairs carefully, her hand moving to knock briefly on their bedroom door before entering.

Her eyes struggled to adjust to the dim light of the bedroom, the only light coming through the slits from the blinds. Haley was curled on her side, her back to Peyton, and Peyton could see the littering of Kleenex that lay along the bedside table. Lowering herself onto the bed beside Haley, Peyton stretched out, her head resting against the back board.

"Hey." She spoke quietly, feeling unsure in that moment, unable to find the words.

Haley didn't move, but Peyton could tell she was listening. "I didn't know if you'd want to see me, but I decided to come up anyway."

Haley shifted then, turning on her back, still not looking at Peyton, her eyes flicking across the ceiling.

"I don't know what to say, but I figured if you want to talk, then I'm here to listen." Peyton played with the hem of her shirt, her fingers nervously pulling at a stray thread.

They sat in silence, each lost in thought, one grieving the loss of what could have been, the other grieving the broken spirit of her friend. Minutes stretched out around them, and just as Peyton was about to get up and leave, give Haley the space she seemed to need, her words halted her.

"I don't know what to do."

Peyton looked over, saw the fresh sheen of tears in Haley's eyes, and settled back against the pillows.

"I don't know how to talk to Nathan about this. He didn't even get a chance to feel the happiness, the joy of believing I was pregnant. He didn't even know Peyton." She bit her lip, her teeth digging in, holding her quivering lip in place.

"He's worried about you Hales." Peyton brought out her hand, running it along Haley's arm before she clasped their hands together.

Haley nodded, struggling to keep the tears at bay. "I know he is. I've tried to talk to him a million different times, but I just don't know what to say. I love him. God, Pey, I love him so much, but I just don't know what to say."

"Maybe you don't need to say anything. Maybe just being together, grieving together, will give you all the words you'll need. He just needs to be with you. He doesn't know what to do to help you."

"I know, I don't even know what to do. I mean, I barely had time to get used to the idea that I was pregnant before it was gone. Just like that. Poof. I've never felt so lost in my life. Ultimate high to ultimate low in the matter of minutes. I don't know if I'm strong enough for this Peyton."

"You have Nathan, Haley. You don't have to go through this alone. Give him the opportunity to help you Haley."

Haley turned again, snuggling into Peyton's side. She ran her hand along Peyton's bump, her eyes thoughtful. "I keep wondering if I should be over this already. I mean, I only thought I was pregnant for less than an hour, and yet, I feel the loss. I feel the despair of losing a child. Maybe we're not meant to have a baby Peyton. What if Nathan and I are just not meant to have a baby?"

Peyton took in a deep breath, the words washing over her. "I don't believe that Haley. Not for one second. I wish I could make it easier for you guys, I love the two of you, but you can't give up Haley. If this is something you want, if having a family with Nathan is what you truly want, you won't ever give up."

Haley gave a small smile. "Thank you Peyton. Thank you."

"I know it's not easy Haley, but you have to let Nathan in. He's downstairs, more upset than I've ever seen him, and all he wants is to talk to you. To know what you're thinking. He loves you."

"I know he does. I love him too. And I know I've been unfair, I just don't know what to say."

Peyton smiled, "The words will come."

"Hey." She stood in the doorway to the kitchen, his Duke sweatshirt dwarfing her.

He turned at the counter, surprised to hear her voice. "Hey." He looked past her. "Where's Peyton?"

Haley looked over her shoulder. "She went home. Said she and Luke would see us tomorrow."

Nathan nodded, "Okay." He moved back to the stove, stirring something in the pot that sat simmering. "I was making you some hot chocolate. Does that sound good?"

She smiled at his back, "Yeah that sounds nice. Thanks." She moved closer, her hands reaching out to slip around his waist, her cheek pressed against his back. "I love you."

She could feel the long breath he exhaled before he turned in her arms, pulling her close. "I love you too Hales." He leaned down, kissing the top of her head.

"I'm sorry I've been pushing you away. I just don't know what to say." She looked up at him, her eyes solemn and wide, her gaze unwavering. "I still don't know what to say, but I don't want to shut you out. I love you too much to hurt you like that."

Nathan's eyes softened and he pressed his lips to hers softly, the taste of her sweet and sincere. "I just want to help you. I'm sorry I wasn't here when you found out. I wish I could have been here for you."

Haley tightened her hold on him, her head shaking. "No, don't apologize. You don't have anything to be sorry for. Neither of us do. It just wasn't our time. As hard as it is to say that, it just isn't our time."

"I wish it didn't have to be this hard, Hales. I hate to see what it's doing to you. To the both of us."

Haley straightened, her eyes wide with concern. "Do you want to stop trying?"

Nathan's eyes clouded over, the thought never entering his mind. "No. I want a family with you, I just wish it didn't have to be this hard."

"Me too, Nathan. Maybe-" She broke off, unsure of her words, "maybe we should go to a doctor, see if anything is wrong."

"Maybe we should." He leaned down, kissing her softly again, his hands curling in her hair. "Maybe we should."

"Are you sure you want to go Hales? I can call and cancel. Lucas and Peyton would understand." Nathan spoke with concern from the doorway as Haley got dressed for dinner.

Shimming into her dress, she threw him a look. "You know we can't leave them alone with Dan."

"Yeah I know. Doesn't mean we can't if we have to."

Haley walked over to him, running her hands over his chest. "I'm okay, and I want to go. Now, can you zip me up?" She turned, moving her hair so Nathan could zip up her dress.

His fingers skimmed the skin of her back, sending shivers up her spine. She gave him a long look over her shoulder before she moved away to put on her bracelet. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. Now let's go."

"Thank god you guys got here." Peyton muttered under her breath as they sat beside them.

Haley chuckled, "That bad already."

Peyton shuddered, "He tried to touch my belly. But one look from me had him stopping right where he was."

Haley laughed, "Yeah I bet it did."

"Haley, Nathan, I'm so glad you both could make it." Dan spoke from across the table, his boys flanked on either side of him.

"Thank you for inviting us." Haley spoke politely, her hand threaded with Nathan's.

"I thought it was about time we all sat down together. As a family." Dan spoke without any hint of sarcasm.

Lucas huffed out a breath and Peyton gave him a long look.

"I know I haven't taken the time with you Lucas, or Peyton, but I'm hoping you'll let me make it up to the two of you, especially now that I'm going to be a grandfather."

Lucas rolled his eyes, "Don't you think you're laying it on a little thick?"

"Lucas." Peyton bit out.

"No, I'm serious." Lucas turned back to Dan. "Grandfather? You really think our kid is going to call your grandpa? What gives you the right to think that?"

Dan gave Lucas a long appraising look. "I am your father Lucas, even if you wish I wasn't."

"Well you may be my father, but you are most certainly not my dad. What's with the sudden change of heart? You've had twenty five years to get to know me, and you choose now, now when I'm starting a family of my own. You are unbelievable."

Dan nodded, his fingers playing with his silverware. Haley took a long look at Nathan, felt his own hand flexing around hers. "You're right Lucas. And you have every reason to leave right now, and I wouldn't blame you. I can't change the past, but I can have a say in the future. And I want to change our relationship."

Haley watched the struggle on Lucas's face, saw the way he wanted to lash out more at Dan, yet he held his tongue, his eyes moving to gaze over Peyton's face, her lips turned in a reassuring smile.

"What did you have in mind?" Lucas spoke again, his earlier temper dissipated.

Dan smiled briefly, turning to look at Nathan and then back at Lucas. "I haven't been the best father for either of you. I can admit that now. I was too wrapped up in my own life, in my own desires to see what was important to the two of you. I treated you both as if you were merely extensions of me, and I used basketball to control that. For that I apologize. I never took the time to get to know either of you as men, and I'm just happy you've found to women who love you." He smiled at Haley and Peyton, and Haley found herself smiling back.

"Dad," Nathan broke in. "you owe Lucas a lot more than just that."

"I know Nathan. This is only the first step. I don't expect you to welcome me with open arms, but I was hoping that this dinner could be the beginning to new aspect of our relationship, and maybe we can try again."

"I think we can try that, right Lucas?" Peyton broke in, speaking up.

Lucas gave her a long look, his face unreadable, and he turned back to Dan, extending his hand. "We can try."

Dan took it gratefully and smiled. "Eat up. Dinner's on me."

"Dinner wasn't horrible." Haley snuggled into the covers, the night air crisp as it whistled through the bedroom window.

Nathan lay stretched out beside her. "No, not completely. Lucas is a better man than I am, though."

"Why do you say that?" Haley turned, her fingers playing with his.

He shrugged, "If it was me, and Dan had treated me the way he's always treated Lucas, there wouldn't be any second chances. I'd be done."

Haley's eyes turned thoughtful, "I don't think that's true. You'd give him a chance. You're giving him one now."

"He's my dad."

"I know he is, and in a lot of ways, he's done more to you than Lucas, just by being in your life. Lucas at least had Keith as a role model, but you lived in an environment that drained you, that made you that cocky teenager I first met."

"I thought you loved that cocky teenager." Nathan smiled.

Haley grinned, kissing Nathan's cheek. "I loved every part of you, but it was because I saw a different person, someone real and caring beneath that bravado you tried so hard to display. You've always been a good guy Nathan, you just needed someone to believe in you."

"You mean you."

"Well now that you mention it, yes, me. In fact, you should be thanking me." She giggled as Nathan's hands tickled at her sides.

"You're right, I probably should." He leaned in, kissing her soundly. "Thank you."

She grinned against his lips. "I love you Nathan."

"I love you too Hales." He rubbed his hand over her stomach, felt the way she stiffened automatically before she consciously relaxed. "Do you ever worry I won't be a good father?"

"What?" Haley pulled back to look in Nathan's eyes. "You don't really think that, do you?"

He shrugged, his eyes not meeting hers. "Sometimes. I mean, look at who I have to model myself after. Not exactly father of the year."

"Well no, but you are everything your father isn't Nathan. You're kind and loving and caring. Every minute I'm with you, I feel like I'm the most loved person, and that's all because of what you make me feel. You are going to be a great father, so I don't want you to ever second guess that." She pressed her lips to his again, felt his lips part hesitantly.

She slipped her tongue between his lips, felt the way he responded, his own tongue meeting hers teasingly. She angled herself along the length of him, her body sliding against his. His hands moved to clutch at her hips, his fingers splayed wide across her back, the heat of his hands burning into her skin.

Rising up on her knees, she pulled her shirt over her head, his gaze sending goose bumps across her flesh. His eyes, wide and careful, he pulled her down, pulled her to rest on top of him.

"Are you sure?" He kissed her softly.

"I love you Nathan, and I want to be with you. We have that appointment with Dr. Franco next week, but until then, I don't want to give up hope. Who knows, maybe tonight's the night, right?"

He looked up at her then, her hair in waves around her face, her eyes large and dark in the summer moonlight, her skin soft beneath his hands.

She was brave, his Haley, and he only hoped that he could be the one to give her what she so desperately deserved.

"Maybe."

He kissed her again, his hands running to cup her, to feel her flesh pebble beneath his fingertips, and as her head moved back, her neck stretching, he felt the love stir around them, and he only hoped it was enough.


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

**_to hope,_**

_**and not be impatient,**_

_**is really to believe . . .**_

Haley sat nervously in the stiff office chair, her fingers wrapped around the strap of her purse. The room was deafeningly quiet save the lone clock ticking on the office desk.

Nathan sat beside her, his posture rigid, his eyes locked blankly on the wall in front of them.

They continued to wait in silence, their thoughts taking them in separate directions. Haley's eyes ran over the large bulletin board on the wall of the office, hundreds of baby pictures placed with colorful pins. She could only guess that they were Dr. Franco's success stories, babies from couples who had been successful. She longed for their own child to join the board one day.

Nathan followed Haley's eyes to the board, frowning at the dozens of smiling baby pictures. Like they needed a blatant reminder that they were sitting in this office; waiting to talk with the doctor about their own fertility issues. It seemed like a slap in the face. Reaching out, he grabbed Haley's hands, feeling the coolness of her skin as she clung desperately to her purse.

Her eyes left the board, reluctantly meeting Nathan's eyes. He gave her a reassuring smile, wanting to erase the sadness that had crept in her eyes since they had been led to the doctor's office.

"It'll be okay." Nathan spoke softly, his thumb running along the top of her hand.

Haley blew out a shaky breath, nodding to herself as his words ran over her. "I know. I'm just nervous."

"I am too. But remember, whatever he tells us, whatever we find out, we're in this together." He leaned over to kiss her softly.

Haley's lips pushed back tenderly, her hand reaching out to stroke his cheek affectionately. "Thank you."

Nathan smiled, kissing her temple. "Anything for you."

The door opened behind them, causing them both to sit upright in their seats. Dr. Franco smiled, moving around the desk to sit across from them, his features pleasant. He opened their file, nodding briefly, before settling them with a smile. "Nathan and Haley Scott."

"Yes. Thank you for seeing us." Nathan smiled, reaching his hand out to shake the doctor's.

Dr. Franco smiled again, his eyes kind. "You're quite welcome. Before we get started I just wanted to give you a little information about what we'll be doing today. I find that it helps ease people's minds if they're familiar with the procedure."

Nathan nodded, grasping Haley's hand in his, as she continued to sit quietly.

"Today I'm most interested in learning about the two of you. I know that the prospect of infertility is a scary one, but I don't want us to jump to any unnecessary conclusions. As for now, I want to get some preliminary background information from you, talk about what you've been dealing with, any questions and concerns you may have, and then from there we'll talk about the necessary tests needed to figure out what's going on." He paused, opening their file to a blank sheet, his pen poised. "Why don't you start by telling me about the two of you? How long you've been married? How long you've been trying to have a baby? Those sort of things."

Nathan looked at Haley, saw she made no move to speak, and he jumped in. "Well we've been married a little over eight years."

Dr. Franco raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised by the news, "Really? Eight years?"

"Yeah, we got married when we were sixteen." Nathan smiled. "I snatched her up the moment I could."

Dr. Franco chuckled, "Smart man."

"Yeah so we've been married eight years, and I guess we've been trying to get pregnant for the last couple of months. We're mainly here as a precautionary measure. I'm sure for a lot of couples it takes a little bit for them to get pregnant in the beginning. But I think we just wanted to know all the possibilities."

"Four months." Haley's voice broke in quietly. "We've been trying for four months."

Nathan smiled sadly at Haley's tone, "We just want to make sure we get all the information we can."

"I think that's a wise move. If you're concerned, it's best to deal with those concerns with concrete information. I applaud you both on taking that step." Dr. Franco scribbled more on the sheet, clearly writing their information for future reference.

"I thought I was pregnant a couple of weeks ago." Haley spoke again, her voice sharper this time, more direct.

Dr. Franco's kind brown eyes met Haley's, and he waited for her to continue.

"About two weeks ago I found out I was about a week late. I was ecstatic. We'd been trying for the last couple of months, and I was giddy at the idea that our wait might be over. That feeling didn't last more than an hour before I got my period. I don't know if you can even consider that a miscarriage, or just a lapse in my cycle, but that's the main reason we decided to come. We want to know for sure if anything's wrong." Haley sat stiffly, her chin raised slightly in defense, her eyes serious.

Dr. Franco sat quietly, his eyes kind. "It seems like you guys are taking the right first step in answering that question. And I hope I can help. I appreciate you being so candid with me. I know it's a difficult subject to talk about. Now, I'm going to need some personal information from the two of you before we move forward with the exams."

Haley nodded, linking her hand with Nathan's, her body turned towards his. Nathan smiled, doing his best to reassure her, even as his own mind jumped anxiously.

"Alright, what form of birth control were you two using prior to your decision to try for a baby?"

"I was on birth control pills. Ortho-tricyclin." Haley spoke up.

"How long were you on it?"

"Over ten years. I started them right before we got married."

Dr. Franco nodded, continuing to write. "And there was never a time during those ten years that you went off the pill? Any other type of pill or patch you used?"

"No." Haley shifted slightly in her seat.

"Okay, that narrows things down. I'm sure you've read that women who have been on the pill for long amounts of time, like yourself, often meet some resistance in the beginning."

Haley nodded tersely, "Yes, I had read that. And I had believed that our problems were due to that. But I don't anymore."

Nathan narrowed his eyes, clearly taking off guard by her statement. Dr. Franco seemed to notice this, saw the shadow that passed across Nathan's face, but he kept his eyes on Haley. "What do you believe?"

Haley breathed in deeply, her hand still tightly wrapped around Nathan's, her fingers flexing against his. "Something's wrong. I just have this feeling that something's wrong. I can't even explain it, but I know it."

Nathan closed his eyes, letting out a long breath. "Hales."

"No, Nathan, it's true. I know it is. It wouldn't be this hard otherwise."

"I don't want to interrupt, but I do want to stop you there Haley." Dr. Franco put in. "I've been treating couples with fertility issues for nearly twenty years. I've seen all sorts of couples come in, each with a different concern, a different reason, a different solution. Now, if what your gut is telling you turns out to be true, then we will deal with it. Together. But until we run tests, I don't want you thinking the worst. There could be a dozen different reasons why you're meeting the resistance you are. It's my job to figure out what that reason is."

"Thank you, Doctor." Haley smiled briefly. "We just really want to know. Whatever the outcome may be. I just hope I'm wrong."

"Well that wasn't too horrible." Haley spoke from the passenger's seat over an hour later, hoping to alleviate the unbearable silence that had enveloped them.

Nathan nodded, his eyes focused on the road ahead as he navigated the streets of Charlotte.

"Dr. Franco seems very nice. As uncomfortable as the situation is, I really like him. I think he's going to be a great doctor for us. I didn't expect to have to answer so many personal questions, did you?"

Again she earned nothing more than a shrug from Nathan as he refused to let his eyes waver from the road.

"What's wrong?" Haley spoke distinctly.

Finally garnering a glance to her, he shrugged. "Nothing."

Haley sighed, "Don't bother lying Nathan. I know you too well for that. Just tell me what you're thinking."

Nathan's hands flexed, his jaw tightening as he tried to sort out the words that were spinning in his head. "I don't know what to say."

Running a hand along his shoulder, she felt the muscles jump beneath his skin, felt the restraint he was holding in, and knew that he was very clearly upset with her. "Then just tell me the truth."

Turning the car into their driveway, he slammed it into Park, putting on the parking brake. His eyes met hers, the cool blue of them lightning hot. "Do you really believe that?"

Haley's brow furrowed, clearly not following his question. "Believe what?"

Nathan turned his eyes frontward, his hands flexed tightly on the wheel. "That something's wrong with us? That there's a real medical reason we're not pregnant yet?"

"Oh." Haley swallowed. "Yes, I do. I thought you did too. I thought that was why were going to see Dr. Franco. To figure out what was wrong."

Nathan scoffed, his breath coming out fast. "Great."

"What am I missing?" Haley was incredulous, his reaction unnerving her. "Isn't that why we decided to go?"

"I was under the impression we were going to get questions answered. To talk about our situation. I thought we still had a little bit of hope left. But you go in there talking about everything that's wrong." He snapped off his seat belt, throwing open his door. He was halfway to their front door before she could respond. She hurried after him, following him through the front door and into the living room.

She had never seen him this unnerved, so clearly upset with her. He paced the living room, his back to her as he stood looking out the large bay window.

"Nathan."

"When you told me you wanted to start trying to have a baby, I was nervous." Nathan's voice was low, the earlier anger absent from his voice. "I questioned my confidence, my ability, myself. Would I be just like Dan? Would I push my own insecurities on my child the way he did? And when I told you those things, you were there for me, you convinced me that I had already proven myself, that I'm nothing like Dan, and that I could become the father I never had. You did that for me."

He turned to her then, and while his voice was even, his eyes burned still. "But I've never once doubted us together. Doubted what we're destined for, the way that you seem to be."

Haley rushed forward, moving to within inches of him. "I don't doubt us, Nathan. That's not what I meant at all."

"Maybe not, but you seem to be under the belief that the only reason it hasn't happened for us is because something's wrong. Why does something have to be wrong? Why can't you believe that maybe it's just not our time?" His eyes softened, his voice pleading.

Haley's eyes closed, "I don't know. God, Nathan, I wish I had an answer to that. I can just feel it. I feel it in me Nathan. Something's not right, and I just can't shake it."

Nathan nodded, leaning down to press his forehead to hers. "I just hate to hear you say it. To hear you believe it. I hate feeling so pessimistic about it." He pressed a kiss to her temple. "I'm sorry I got upset. It just shook me to hear you say it to Dr. Franco with so much conviction. I'm used to you being the optimistic one."

Haley chuckled softly, wrapping her arm loosely around his waist to pull herself even along the length of him. "I didn't mean to upset you. I guess at this point, I'd just rather go in there thinking the worst, so that when Dr. Franco assures us that everything is okay, we can be elated."

He laughed softly against her, "That would be nice. Can I say I told you so when he does?"

"There would be nothing better I'd like to hear." She smiled, kissing him against the hollow of his neck, his jaw, before pressing her lips to his.

"How are you two doing?" Peyton spoke up from the couch, her legs stretched out in front of her, her bump growing larger every day.

Haley shrugged, moving into the room, a glass of water in each hand. "We're doing okay. I don't know how you measure how we're doing. It's a stressful time. But I think we're doing about as well as can be expected."

Peyton smiled, taking the proffered water, "I'm glad to hear that. Lucas told me the last time he saw Nathan, he was a little on edge. Is he doing okay?"

Haley sighed, her eyes worried. "He says he is. After the doctor's appointment, he was upset with me. I think he felt like I had already given up, that I'm accepting a fate we don't even know yet. Peyton, I'd never seen him like that. He was so calm, yet still so angry with me. He was disappointed in me. I've never felt that before. It was heartbreaking."

"He's under just as much pressure as you are. I'm sure he's more concerned with how you're feeling, than with anything else." Peyton put in helpfully.

"Normally I'd agree. And I do think that's part of it. But underneath that, I think he was disappointed I wasn't putting up more of a fight. That I'm accepting something we don't even know." Haley smiled sadly. "He's right."

Peyton's eyes sparked, "Haley."

"I have given up." Haley shrugged, her eyes turning away from Peyton's to study her and Nathan's wedding picture. "I can't hide it anymore. I can't try and rationalize it, but I can feel it. It's out of our control Peyton. Something's wrong with us, and it's just a matter of finding out what. I don't like being this pessimistic, this matter-of-fact, but it's the way I feel. He knows it, and I know it."

Peyton smiled sadly, "But even if something's wrong, God forbid, that doesn't mean it's the end for you two."

Haley smiled then, her lips turning in genuine emotion. "Oh I know that. This does not mean I've given up on us having a baby. We will have a family together. It just won't be as easy as we hoped." She moved closer to Peyton on the couch, her hand running along her bump softly. "I'm so happy for you Peyton. I hope you know that. You and Lucas have been great friends to us, and Nathan and I are both so proud to have you in our family. I don't want you to question for one minute that we're not happy for you two."

Peyton grinned, "I know you guys are. Sometimes I feel like it would be easier if I wasn't around, so you didn't have a blatant reminder all the time. But I'm too selfish; I have to be around you. You're my best friend." She wrapped her arm tightly around Haley's shoulders.

"You're my best friend too. Just don't tell Luke. He might get jealous." Haley laughed.

Peyton giggled, "Oh trust me. I won't."

Lucas settled his gaze across the table, taking in Dan's stern expression. He sighed, wondering again why he had subjected himself to this lunch, when his brother sat down heavily beside him, his chair scraping against the floor.

The things you do for your brother.

"Nathan. Glad you could join us. Lucas and I ordered drinks. Do you know what you'd like?" Dan spoke easily, apparently unaware of the tension at the table.

"Water's fine." Nathan sighed, smiling briefly at Lucas before turning back to look at Dan. "So what did you want to talk about?"

Dan put down his menu, sensing that small talk was not on the agenda. "I wanted to see how you boys are doing. How's Peyton, Lucas?"

Lucas tensed visibly, "She's fine. Doing well."

Dan nodded, "And the baby? Everything okay there?"

"Yeah." Lucas tapped his fork absently on the table. "Everything's fine."

Dan stared, an expression of regret lining his eyes, before he turned to look at Nathan. "What about you Nate? How are you and Haley?"

Nathan's eyes narrowed briefly before he answered. "We're good." He let out a long sigh. "Is this why you wanted to meet us for lunch? To ask how we're doing? You could have done this on the phone."

"Is it wrong that I wanted to know how my sons are doing? Sit down with them for lunch?" Dan's tone spoke of sincerity.

Nathan shrugged, "Not for most dads. But you can't blame us for being skeptical. Usually a lunch with Dan Scott comes with an ulterior motive."

Dan nodded, looking at his hands."I know I haven't given either of you a reason to think anything different, but I really am trying here. I'm glad the two of you are happy. Haley and Peyton, those are two strong girls. I'm glad you've found people who support you. I know I let you both down, in different ways. I'm just trying to start over with the two of you."

Dan smiled at them, and for once it was void of his usual charm. "You don't owe me anything, in fact, I wouldn't be surprised if you both got up and never looked back, but I know I've done some things wrong with you, with both of you. And I want to try and fix that; if you'll let me."

"So how was lunch with Dan?" Peyton spoke up from her spot on the couch, her head draped casually on Lucas's shoulder.

Lucas sighed, his fingers playing with hers. "It was okay. It seems like he wants to try and build a relationship with us. All of us. Is it wrong that I want to believe him?"

Peyton turned her head to lock eyes with him, her lips curving slightly. "Of course not. He's your dad Luke. He may not have been the best, but if he's willing to try, I think we can too."

Lucas nodded, kissing her lightly on the lips once, twice. "How'd I get so lucky to get you?"

Peyton smiled, "Well you're cute. That didn't hurt." She giggled as Lucas pinched at her side. "And I guess my falling in love with you helped too."

Lucas smiled brightly, "I love you Peyton."

"I love you too." Peyton kissed him again, applying more pressure to his lips, kissing him deeply.

"Why is it that every time we leave you two alone for more than five minutes, we catch you making out like teenagers?" Nathan grumbled from the doorway, Haley following closely behind him.

Lucas laughed at his brother's awkward expression. "I can't help it that my wife can't keep her hands to herself. And don't you think that's a little hypocritical? If Peyton and I had a dollar for every time we caught the two of you, we'd be driving a Ferrari."

"Thanks a lot Luke!" Haley laughed, pulling Nathan down into the large arm chair with her.

Laughing, Lucas shrugged, "It's the truth Hales."

Nathan shot his brother an amused look before laughing himself. "Okay, so we're pretty much even I guess.

"Oh I don't think so!" Peyton laughed, "You guys had four years on us."

Haley laughed from her position across Nathan's lap. "Gee thanks!"

"Oh don't worry. We love you guys anyway." Lucas smiled cheekily at Haley, earning him a friendly wink.

"So what do you guys want to do for dinner? Do you want to order something in, or we could barbeque?" Haley looked between the three of them.

Peyton shrugged, "I could eat anything right about now. I'm starving. But a barbeque sounds good. Do you guys have anything to grill?"

Haley slid off Nathan, wondering into the adjacent kitchen. Pulling open the freezer, she spoke from behind the door. "We've got hamburgers or chicken. What are you guys in the mood for?"

Before Lucas could answer, the phone rang, rising Nathan from the chair. He answered as they continued to discuss dinner plans around him. "Hello?"

"Nathan Scott?"

Nathan frowned slightly into the phone, hoping it wasn't a telemarketer. "Speaking."

"This is Sue from Dr. Franco's office." She spoke quickly, Nathan barely catching her words.

Nathan's pulse quickened; his stomach dropping. "Oh, hello."

Haley heard the tone Nathan had taken, abandoning the food to move beside him. She seemed to know who it was without even having to ask.

Sue continued to speak, her tone never changing. "Dr. Franco asked me to call and make an appointment for you and your wife. Your test results are in and he'd like to discuss them with you."

Nathan swallowed, "Okay, let me get a calendar. Hold on." He put her on hold, dropping his voice as he turned towards Haley. "Dr. Franco's office wants to set up an appointment to discuss our results."

Haley nodded, her eyes focused on his. "Okay. Um, let me get our calendar." She shifted, moving towards their desk to pull out their date book. Flipping through the pages, she handed it to Nathan, running a hand along his arm.

Nathan gave her one quick kiss, a reassuring move for the two of them, before coming back on the line. "When do you have an opening?"

"We actually had a cancellation on Thursday at 2 p.m. Does that work for the two of you?"

Grabbing a pencil, Nathan wrote it in for later that week, his handwriting shaky. "Yes that works. We'll be there. Thank you."

"Alright, thank you Mr. Scott." With that she clicked off the line, leaving Nathan with the hollow silence.

Haley's eyes ran over the time Nathan had written, her body tense with anxiety. Nathan hung up the phone, his hands moving to pull Haley tight into his side, their bodies flush.

Lucas looked at Peyton, both feeling out of place at such a time, watching their friends cling to one another as the news washed over them. Peyton pulled her hand tightly around his, her eyes full of worry as she saw the way Haley leaned into Nathan, her arms tight around his waist.

"Thursday." Haley spoke the word tentatively, drawing out the syllables.

Nathan nodded. "Yeah, Thursday." His fingers trailed up and down her arm, turning his head to kiss at her ear. "Are you okay?"

Haley gulped, nodding even as tears rushed to her eyes. "Yeah. I just want the wait to be over. I love you."

Nathan pulled her into a firm hug, his arms wrapping around her, his body circling hers. "I love you Hales. We're in this together."

"Together." Haley nodded, breathing in his scent, gaining stability from his presence. She pulled back to look in his eyes. "We'll find out what fate has in store for us. Right?"

Nathan smiled slowly, "Right."

Haley turned, seemingly surprised to still see Lucas and Peyton on the couch. "Oh, I'm sorry guys."

Lucas smiled, "Don't apologize. Are you sure you guys want to do dinner? We can give you guys some time alone."

"Absolutely not. I think a barbeque is just what we need." Nathan grinned at his brother. "So what do you guys feel like? Chicken or hamburgers?"

Peyton smiled devilishly, "How about both?"

"That was fantastic Nathan. Who knew you were so good at grilling?" Peyton spoke happily around another piece of chicken.

Nathan smiled, "It's pretty much the only cooking I can do. Not that you can even really consider it cooking. Haley is the real gourmet in the family."

"Oh I know. This potato salad! Hales, I can't believe you made this from scratch!" Peyton giggled.

Haley grinned, "It's an old recipe of my mom's. I can give it to you, if you want it."

Shoveling another spoonful onto her plate, Peyton grinned, "Oh I definitely want it."

Lucas laughed as Peyton continued to eat, long after the rest of them were done. "Look at my girl. She used to be the pickiest eater, and now she's asking me for all those weird pregnancy concoctions. I just hope she doesn't ask for the clichéd pickles and ice cream."

Peyton glared at him, to which he looked apologetic. "I didn't get in this position on my own, so I'd stop while I was ahead if I were you."

"I love you Pey." He leaned over to brush is lips against her hair.

"Yeah, yeah." Peyton swatted at him, causing Nathan and Haley to break out in laughter.

"So how are you feeling Peyton?" Haley spoke up, her hand twirling around the edge of her water glass.

"I feel pretty good. Thank god the morning sickness has passed. That is one thing I never want to relive." She smiled at Lucas. "We just had our 16 week check up. We got to hear the baby's heart and during our next appointment we get our first sonogram. The doctor said everything looks good so far."

"That's great guys." Nathan smiled encouragingly. He linked hands with Haley under the table, feeling the way she squeezed back.

"What about you?" Lucas's expression turned soft, his eyes kind in the early evening air. "How are you guys doing?"

Nathan looked at Haley, watching the way her emotions played across her features. He opened his mouth to speak, only to be halted by Haley's words. "We're okay. I think we'll be better after Thursday. No matter what the results say, I think the not knowing is what is draining us both."

She turned to look at Nathan, saw the love there, the way his eyes stayed trained on hers. "We just want to know. Whatever Dr. Franco tells us, we can deal with it. We have each other. We're in this together."

Lucas nodded, "Well, we're here for you both. You know that, right?"

Nathan smiled, "Of course we do. Thanks guys."

"You're our family." Peyton smiled, running a lone hand across her stomach, Lucas's arm lying across her shoulders. "For better or for worse."

Haley smiled, her head tilting to lean against Nathan's shoulder. "For better."

"So how are you feeling?" Nathan voiced as they cleaned up the kitchen, the dishes of their dinner lying around the counter, Lucas and Peyton already on their way home.

Haley straightened, her hair sliding behind one shoulder as she turned on the faucet, scraping the various dishes. "I'm okay. I just wish it were Thursday already. My stomach is in knots."

Nathan nodded at her back, moving to slide his hands around her waist, his mouth close to her ear. "Whatever the results say, whatever Dr. Franco says, we've just got to believe. This is in no way the end for us. It's only the beginning."

She leaned back against him, her hand reaching to turn off the faucet. The noise of the water ended abruptly, and he could suddenly hear her pulse against his ear. "I know. I wish it didn't have to be this hard for us, Nate, but maybe that will make it all the more special when we find out we are pregnant."

"There's the optimistic girl I fell in love with." Nathan kissed the side of her neck, pulling slightly at her skin with his teeth, causing a hiss from between her lips.

Haley turned to look him in the eye, her body swiveling within the circle of his arms. "I've always been here. I just got knocked around a little." She pressed her forehead to his, gaining steadiness from him being so near. He pressed his lips to her temple, her cheek, her lips, feeling the cool flick of her tongue against his.

"I wish I could make this easier for us Hales." He pulled her in tighter, lifting her to his eye level. "I wish I could take this all away."

Haley closed her eyes, breathing in slowly. "I know you do. And I love you for it. But it'll be worth it. All the anxiety, all the indecision, all the waiting; will make it all the sweeter when we get to start our family."

Nathan kissed her again, pulling back to murmur against her lips, "We already are a family; we're just missing a few members."

Giggling against his lips, Haley smirked, "A few?"

Sitting her atop the counter, Nathan moved between her legs, running his hand up her thigh, his fingers playing with the hem of her khaki skirt. Her skin trembled beneath his hands, the coolness of the pads of his fingers against the heat of her inner thigh. "Well I figure we're not going to stop after just one, right? We need at least two. A boy and a girl. Both just like you." He continued to kiss at her neck, feeling her pulse quicken beneath his mouth.

"Hmm." Haley struggled to form thoughts as his tongue ran along her jaw; his fingers continuing to run in circles along her thigh softly. "Yeah, a boy and a girl."

Nathan laughed at the tense strain in her voice. "So we agree on that. Good." He moved his hand under her shirt, pushing up the cotton as her fingers pulled at his own shirt, eagerly seeking flesh. He pushed her back gently, her back coming to rest against the cabinets, his arms pulling her hips into his as he hovered over her.

She bit hungrily at his bottom lip, her legs twining around his hips, pulling him into her further. He pushed back, his hands resting on either side of her hips as his mouth continued to battle with hers.

He pulled his mouth away from hers to watch her face as he moved his hands to push her top up and over her head, her flesh rosy against the soft lace of her bra. She watched him through heavy lidded eyes, and he felt his breath go, as her brown eyes locked on him, her fingers pushing the buttons of his shirt through the eyeholes. Slipping the cotton over his shoulders, she felt the flesh of his arms, his chest, her head leaning down to bite at the skin of his chest, his breath hissing out in appreciation.

His hand slid between them, felt the heat radiating between her thighs, and he longed to join them. He kissed her thoroughly, his tongue matching against hers roughly, her skin soft under his hands, and he felt himself get lost in her, in her scent, her taste, the feel of her.

It was all they needed. Even if it was only for one more day.


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

Four hundred seventy two.

Four hundred seventy three.

Four hundred seventy four.

Stupid sheep.

She tossed again, her body flipping to the side, her eyes staring out the cracked window. Night stretched out before her, her body tired, her mind unable to rest. Haley replayed Nathan's tone as he spoke to the receptionist, her mind hoping to decipher any bit she could, hope and faith battling the demons of anxiety and despair.

She moved her legs again, hoping to gain comfort in her bed, to find the even sleep Nathan seemed to slide so effortlessly into hours ago. Haley huffed out another long breath and tried to focus once again on the sheep; the annoyingly chipper white sheep that were doing nothing to help her fall asleep.

Four hundred seventy five.

Damn sheep.

She squinted her eyes at the ceiling, no longer seeing the barnyard animals but instead imagining Dr. Franco's office the following afternoon, the look of regret in his eyes as he told them the worst news she could imagine. They would never be able to have children. She could feel it, her stomach falling pitifully, and she all but wished the hours to run, for the wait to be over.

Four hundred seventy six.

This definitely wasn't working. Haley contemplated getting up, just succumbing to the nerves that jumped in her stomach, all but dancing nervously inside her, but she found Nathan's presence beside her comforting. In the quiet she could hear his even breathing, the slow way his chest moved up and down with each breath and she wished for a bit of that, to curl herself up in his comfort.

"How many are you up to?"

His voice startled her, slicing through the quiet air that had settled in their bedroom. She turned her head to find him watching her, his eyes not as sleepy as she expected them to be.

Hardly conceiving he was awake, his question only confused her. "What?"

Nathan turned on his side to face her completely, his hand coming out to lie gently on her stomach. "Sheep? How many have you counted?" His eyes never left her face, never wavered from her and she felt the nerves that had once threatened to chase her from their bed now settle into a lump in the pit of her stomach.

Haley smiled slightly then, her lips turning up in a wry smile. "Four hundred seventy six."

Nathan whistled low, "Wow. I thought I was the only one still awake. I only got to three hundred ninety one." The left side of his mouth turned up in a quick smile.

Haley watched the way the smile never reached his eyes. "I thought you were asleep."

"Nah. Too much on my mind to sleep. I was trying to let you fall asleep without worrying about me."

"And instead I just tossed around. I guess we both have too much on our minds." Haley shifted closer, her body coming to rest along the length of him, to gain some strength from his presence.

Nathan's blue eyes filled with sorrow and he nodded, "Yeah, I think we do."

"I've never wished for a doctor's appointment to be over with more than tomorrow's. I don't think I've ever loathed something as much as I so desperately want to go. It's like I can't decide whether I want the hours to speed by or stop completely. My stomach is a ball of nerves." Haley's hand settled over Nathan's, her fingers running along the top of his hand.

Nathan's hands grasped hers, threading their fingers together. "I know. I keep running different scenarios in my head and as much as I try to keep my thoughts positive, of him telling us there's nothing medically stopping us, I can't help the doubt, the fear, from taking over. I know it must be worse for you." He pressed a kiss to her temple. "The only thing keeping me sane is knowing we have each other. I can't imagine what I'd do if I didn't have you."

Haley's eyes locked on his, her heart in her eyes. "I couldn't survive this without you."

Nathan smiled; a bright grin against the dark night. "Yes you could. You're much stronger than you give yourself credit for."

"Well I wouldn't want to survive this without you."

He brought their threaded hands to his mouth, kissing her knuckle softly. "Me either. We're in this together. No matter what Dr. Franco may say, no matter what those test results show, you can have faith in knowing that it doesn't change anything between you and me. If the tests show we can't have children that doesn't mean we can't have a family." He stopped, his eyes searching hers. "I love you Haley, and I want to have children with you, whether that means adopting or fertility treatments or anything else. I'll do what it takes to make you happy."

Haley couldn't stop the fall of tears that coursed down her cheeks at the soft tone of Nathan's voice, the love lacing his words. "You already do make me happy Nathan. More than I ever imagined possible. And you're right. Whatever Dr. Franco says we'll deal with and we'll find a way to have a family. It might take longer than we hoped, or be harder, but that will only make it more special." She kissed him softly, her lips a whisper against his. "You know I still remember what you said a couple of days ago."

Nathan's eyebrows furrowed and he gave her a puzzled look. "What did I say? I'm sure it was brilliant whatever it was." He gave her a cocky grin.

The giggle that leapt from Haley's throat had Nathan's grin widening. "Oh it was genius. You told me we were already a family. We're just missing a few members. And you're right. We are a family. Whether there are two of us or twelve, we'll always be a family. You've been my family since that day on the beach Nathan, and nothing can change that."

"I love you Haley." He smiled, the moment around them serene and peaceful.

She smiled, "I love you too." Glancing at the clock she saw it was still the middle of the night. "Are you tired?"

Nathan grinned, "Not really." He moved closer, his hands reaching for her.

"Good." Rolling away from him, Haley grabbed the remote, quickly switching on the TV. She tried hard to ignore the look of dismay that sat blankly on Nathan's face. She flipped through the channels, settling on a popular infomercial before daring to look at Nathan.

"You're kidding." Nathan saw the gleam that flickered in her eyes.

Haley ignored his comment, instead choosing to focus on the commercial. "I think we should get one of these Nate. I mean, look at the way it makes juice. We could have fresh orange juice every morning. Or lemonade."

"Ha-les." He drew out her name, enunciating each syllable.

"You love lemonade Nathan. And just imagine how good real lemonade would be. Karen used to make it all the time." Haley kept talking, her rambles long. "Lucas always used to say that no one could make lemonade quite like Karen. But I bet with this juicer I could give her a run for her money. Hey! Maybe I should get one for Karen. Her birthday's coming up and if anyone could get use out of this juicer, it would be her."

Running his hands underneath the sheets, Nathan ignored Haley's incessant chatter about juicers, instead trailing his fingertips along her hips. Her rambles faltered, if only for a brief pause before she was back explaining the merits of this amazing juicer.

"It's only three easy payments of $19.99! That's a bargain for a juicer of this quality. All these different things you can make with it. We could make fresh salsa or tomato sauce. Mmm, how good do chips and salsa sound right now? Are you hungry Nathan?"

Her giggles became the only sound heard.

She gripped Nathan's hands tightly, her nerves coursing through her as she never could have imagined before. He squeezed back, his face calm, his eyes alight. They had both been a ball of nerves all morning, their house never cleaner thanks to Haley's incessant need to keep her mind busy.

Now as they sat, their chairs pulled close together, that same clock ticking mercilessly around them, Haley didn't know whether to break down in tears or giggles. The whole scene was foreign, the type of situation one can never imagine becoming their life, yet here they were, together, the bond between them stronger than ever, with only one person standing before their future. Would it be easy or hard? Would life continue to be effortless, or were they in for the hardest fight of their lives? Would they hear the words they so desperately wished to hear?

The door opened abruptly behind them and Haley's eyes shut, her body taking in a long, slow breath. The moment was before them and Haley was sure she had never felt more uncertain in her whole life.

Dr. Franco circled his desk, smiling politely at them, his hand reaching out to shake theirs. "Nathan, Haley, I'm glad you were able to come in. How are you both doing?"

Nathan smiled tensely, "We're okay. I think it's safe to say we're both pretty anxious."

Dr. Franco nodded, his face clearing. "Yes, I can imagine. As rewarding as I find this type of medicine, I don't think I'll ever grow accustom to how much my patients are forced to endure. Now I'm sure you're eager to hear about your test results. As I'm sure you remember we ran a couple of tests: sperm count, egg count, as well as hormone levels and ultrasounds."

Haley and Nathan both nodded, having remembered the varying tests they had been through only weeks before.

"I'll start with your sperm count Nathan which was well in the normal range, if not a little high. I can safely rule out that being a problem."

Nathan's hands tightened on hers and Haley felt her stomach drop. It was her. There was no other option left. She was the problem, she was the reason they were still not pregnant, her own body was fighting against them. Haley felt her head drop, her eyes lower as she felt the guilt was over her, her body begin to tremble.

Nathan sensed Haley's reaction before he even turned his head. He pulled her head up with his hand, her chin locked in his fingers and forced her eyes on him. "Haley. We're together."

She blinked once, twice, her eyes cloudy before she nodded slowly, her mouth drawn in a tight line.

"Haley." Dr. Franco's voice had Nathan releasing her chin, her eyes finding his. "I'm sorry that the two of you are having to go through this. I wish I could say that all your tests came back completely normal. Since you've been on birth control since you were sixteen, it's often hard to know how regular your periods would be without the medication. Before you went on the pill, how often would you say you got your period?"

Haley blinked, the question throwing her off balance. "Not that often. My doctor said it was most likely that my hormone levels were off and eventually I would regulate. But then I started dating Nathan and I went on the pill shortly before we got married. I guess I didn't really think about it."

Dr. Franco smiled, "I figured as much. Well from your tests and from the information you've given me I think I've come to the conclusion on what's been holding up fertility. Haley, I believe you have a condition that has come to be known as Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. Almost ten percent of women have PCOS but most know nothing about it. It's a condition where your ovaries for cysts which block the production of an egg. In other words, the many cysts in a polycystic ovary are follicles that have matured but, due to abnormal hormone levels, were never released. In a normal ovary, a single egg develops and is released each month. The good news is it's completely treatable. We cannot cure it, but with regulating your diet, as well as fertility treatments, we can help you both."

"So this PCOS is common?" Nathan spoke up as Haley sat eerily quiet beside him.

"Well we're seeing many more cases of it than ever before. And thankfully with all the progresses of technology, infertility which used to be the main issue of PCOS is now being able to work around. I'm not saying this will be easy, there will be a lot of invasive treatments, but if you guys are willing, and this is something you both want, then we can get you started on a round of fertility treatments."

Nathan turned to Haley, who had remained silent. "Hales." He watched the way her brown eyes flickered to his. "What are you thinking?"

Haley's mind had been reeling since Dr. Franco had spoken the words. Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. It was her. She had been right all along. Her mind blanked, focusing on nothing other than the fact that she was the reason they still were not pregnant. It was all her fault.

She opened her lips, the words painful to say, "It's my fault."

Nathan's face became a mask of shock and he was quick to pull her into a tight hug. "No honey, it's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault. Didn't you hear Dr. Franco? We can deal with this. We have options. This isn't the end." He rocked her back and forth, his arms tight around her shoulders, her head buried in his neck.

Hot tears slid down his neck and he could hear her murmur the words over and over, "I'm sorry."

"Haley." Dr. Franco's crisp voice broke through their embrace. "I'm sorry if I overwhelmed you with the news. It's just that in the many different fertility issues I encounter every day, PCOS is the one I have found the best results with. There are so many treatment options that I often get ahead of myself. You and Nathan I am confident will find all the success in the world."

She closed her eyes, settling with a deep breath before turning her eyes on Dr.Franco. "Besides ovulation, what are the other symptoms of PCOS?" Her voice was even, her gaze steady.

Nathan watched her face, saw the tutor in her come to life. She was in pain, she was upset, but she wanted all the information she could get.

"Well, PCOS has been around for quite awhile but it is only recently that we are learning of all the symptoms. We still do not know the cause, whether it is genetic or not, but there has been a great deal of progress. Irregular periods and ovulation is the biggest symptom. Others can be high cholesterol or high blood pressure, diabetes, weight gain around your middle. When I checked your cholesterol I did find it on the high side, but luckily you do not find yourself with the weight problem. That is usually the first thing we try to regulate with diet and exercise."

"So is there anything I should be eating? Or should I be exercising more?"

"No. Right now you are at a healthy weight for your height, and I see no reason why you should worry about that. My suggestion would be to talk about different fertility medications. There are a variety that we can try."

Haley turned to look at Nathan, a slight smile on her lips. He nodded at her, his eyes never leaving hers. "Yes, I think we'd like to know our options."

"Okay, well the main fertility problem for women with PCOS is the lack of ovulation. The most common options are either pills or shots. Clomiphene, which is the pills, and Gonadotropins, which are shots, can be used to stimulate the ovary to ovulate. PCOS patients are at increased risk for multiple births when using these medications." He gave Haley and Nathan a smile.

Nathan laughed, "Multiple, as in twins or triplets?"

Dr. Franco laughed, "More like quads or quints. In vitro fertilization, which is commonly referred to as IVF, is sometimes recommended to control the chance of having triplets or more. Metformin can be taken with fertility medications and helps to make PCOS women ovulate on lower doses of medication. Metaformin works on controlling insulin levels in PCOS patients."

"So what would you recommend we begin with?" Haley leaned forward, much more involved in the conversation.

Dr. Franco cleared his throat briefly before speaking. "Well to start I would most likely prescribe you to take Clomiphene to try and stimulate ovulation. That would be a good beginning ground. We would monitor your ovulation, keep you on the pills for a few months to track progress and see how things go. I must remind you that fertility treatments are a lengthy process. I don't want either of you going into the situation expecting a miracle. While these medications help, nothing is 100 and we are not bound in our options."

Nathan nodded. "We understand. This could take months, or it could take years. It's hard to not go in to this without expectations."

"Well, what I recommend you do is, take the information I've given you and think about it. There is no rush in making a decision. Research. Ask questions. If you want to get a second consultation, I can recommend some good fertility doctors. The most important thing is that you are comfortable with the decision that you choose. Both of you." He looked from Nathan to Haley. Saw the resolve that replaced the anxiety that had laced her features only minutes before. "You have a lot of options before you, so take all the time you need in deciding."

Haley nodded slowly. "Thank you Dr. Franco. You've given us a lot to think about. Do you mind writing down the names of a few doctors? In case we decide on a second opinion."

A half hour later they were in the car, the road stretching out before them, their hands intertwined across the console. Nathan had his hand draped loosely across the steering wheel, the lax pose of his body opposite to the questions reeling in his head. "So what are you thinking?"

Haley turned to him, her eyes bright. "I'm feeling more positive than I have in weeks."

"Really?" Nathan had been sure Haley was close to a breakdown only minutes before in Dr. Franco's office.

"Yeah." Haley smiled. "I know I freaked out in there. I was overwhelmed, but hearing an actual diagnosis, hearing the symptoms, it made it something I can deal with. It was no longer unknown, this horrible unknown that I couldn't control."

"What about the other doctor's? Do you want to call them?"

"I think we should. Just to be sure. But I like Dr. Franco, and I trust him. He's going to help us Nathan. He's going to help us have a family."

Nathan smiled, glad to see his positive Haley back. "I'm glad you're so optimistic about this. You really scared me back there."

Haley brought his hand to her lips. "I know. I'm sorry. It almost became too much to hear. But now that I have a diagnosis, it's something we can work with. Whether it's medication or IVF, we have options Nathan. This is only the beginning for us."

They felt it soar around them.

Hope.


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

The second and third opinion only confirmed the first.

No matter which way they looked at it, each doctor said the same. Without the help of fertility treatments, it seemed like he and Haley were not meant to have children.

But if Nathan had learned anything in his life, it was that fighting and struggling for what was important only made the success that much sweeter. Life had taught him that lesson through basketball, through family, through love.

This was merely a roadblock, a stepping stone in an ever widening path. And Nathan knew that if anyone could overcome this, it was him and Haley.

Haley.

Her optimism was almost unfailing now. It was as if the original shock, the original devastation that had settled on her in Dr. Franco's office had melted away to leave behind an unwavering resilience. For that alone he loved her more.

They had been to see two doctors since that fateful day, and Haley had come out of each appointment with more information than the first. While he felt himself overwhelmed with acronyms and medical jargon, Haley took over as only she could with lists of informative questions.

_What were the side effects to fertility drugs? _

_What was the percentage of success rates? _

_How long was it healthy to be on IVF treatments?_

Question after question, she was thriving in this environment, soaking up any and all information like the tutor she always would be.

And it didn't stop there. She spent hours in the library, researching, questioning. When she wasn't in the library with a medical journal in front of her, she was on their computer, the screen lit bright into the wee hours of the morning. If he didn't know it came from a place of desperation, a place of ever growing need, he would have been concerned.

Holding the basketball between his palms now, his arms stretched above him as he flicked his wrist monotonously, his mind steeped in thoughts; he didn't even register her presence until she was smiling down at him.

"Hey honey." She gave him a lovely smile, the curve of her cheeks flushed pink. Her large bag hung from her shoulder, the creased pages of pamphlets and magazine articles sticking out haphazardly.

Sitting up, Nathan moved to pull her down beside him. "Hey. How was the library?" Leaning over, he pressed his lips to hers in a welcoming kiss.

Haley's smile deepened, "It was great. I'm really glad we have an appointment with Dr. Franco on Wednesday. I feel like I know more than ever. And I'm excited to get started, to try and see what will work."

Nathan nodded. "Me too." He let out a long breath. "But we have to remember that none of this is a miracle. This isn't a quick fix."

Haley nodded slightly. "I know that Nathan. That doesn't mean we can't go in there with some optimism. I'd rather start with hope than go in expecting the worst. Wouldn't you?" She moved away from him slightly and he could feel the tension beginning to settle along the length of her.

"Of course. I'm more hopeful than I could ever possibly articulate. I just worry about you; that's all. I worry about what will happen if this takes longer than you expect. I worry about what will happen if it happens right away. I worry that it will never happen. You name it, and I've probably worried about it. I'm not used to feeling like this. You're the worrier, not me." He gave her a long look, his elbows coming to rest on his knees. "Can I trade you?"

She melted into his side, her chin settling on his shoulder. "I wish I could take that away for you. But you're not alone. I worry about all those things. Sometimes I think I might never know what it feels like to not constantly be thinking about having a baby. Will there ever be a 'normal' time again? Or is this how the rest of our life will be, constantly wondering, constantly questioning? I can't imagine a life like that, but yet I can't imagine a life, our life, without children."

"I guess it just won't be the traditional way." Nathan let out a long sigh, the breath puffing out between his lips.

Rubbing her hand up along his back, Haley curved further into his side. "No. It won't. It's going to be hard Nathan, harder than either of us can even begin to comprehend. No matter how many articles I read or questions I ask, I'll never fully be prepared for what's ahead of us, but I do know that there is no one I'd rather have by my side during any of this. You don't know what being with you means to me. I'm only as strong as you make me. And I hope I do that for you too. It may sound clichéd, or sappy, but you really are the most important thing to me. I hope you know that."

Turning his head to stare at the face he had been looking at for the past eight years, the subtle curve of her jaw, the plump line of her lips, the feathery shadows of her eyelashes, Nathan felt his heart give one long pull. "I do. I always have. And it's not sappy if it's the truth." He pressed a kiss to her lips, his mouth gliding against hers as it had countless times before. "And for what it's worth, if I didn't have you, I don't think I'd have anything."

A giggled broke out between her lips. "What a line Nathan Scott! You always were good with those."

"Excuse me?" He put on an exaggerated air of indignation. "That was not a line."

"Oh, okay." She rolled her eyes at him.

"Hales! Why is mine a line, but yours is sincere?" He grabbed at her sides, his fingers digging in to make her squeal loudly. He spoke in a high voice, mocking hers, "You're the most important thing to me."

Wriggling beneath his fingers, she drew in hard breaths, fighting to speak, laughing so hard it hurt. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry. It wasn't a line."

"Thank you." Leaving his hands at her sides, he pulled her closer, his nose nuzzling hers to push her lips to his, to have their mouths meet in a kiss that echoed his words. She arched up into him, their middles pressed together as he leaned them back against the length of the couch. She curved her hips into him as her hands moved to pull his face closer.

"And you are the most important thing to me too, Hales. I love you. More than anything." His lips skimmed hers, their breath shared.

Her heart leapt beneath his palm, her eyes blinking back tears. "I love you too Nathan. I love you more than I can even describe."

He pulled back to look in her eyes, his gaze unwavering. "So Wednesday? Are you ready to start?"

Haley nodded firmly. "I really am. No time like the present, right?" She smiled softly. "I know it won't be easy. But that just means it will be even more special when it does happen."

Nathan smiled, his eyes crinkling. Lowering his head so his words vibrated against her lips, he spoke softly, "I couldn't have said it any better myself."

"Did Haley call?" Peyton spoke up from the bedroom as she began to wander down the hall, her hair still damp and curly.

Lucas looked up from the newspaper. "Yeah she called while you were in the shower. She said she and Nathan want to take us out to dinner tonight. She said you should pick the restaurant."

Moving to sit beside Lucas on the couch, Peyton propped her feet up on his legs. "They're going to the doctor today. To start treatments." Her eyes hung on Lucas's, the words hovering in the air.

"I know. Nathan told me yesterday. I guess that means they're ready. I can't imagine what they're going through." Lucas set the newspaper aside, turning to face Peyton more completely. "You know when they got married, even though we were in high school, I always kind of expected them to have kids right away. It wasn't like I wanted them to, I just felt like that was the next natural step for them. I mean, when you get married at sixteen, having kids seem like the next progression. I know very few people who would be a better mother than Haley, and to see how hard this is for her, how hard it is for the both of them, I wish I could take it away."

Peyton nodded, her eyes flooding with tears. "I feel so guilty. Like whenever I walk into a room, I feel like I'm flaunting this in front of two people who are dealing with something you and I can never comprehend."

Lucas laced their fingers, bringing her hand to his mouth to lay a soft kiss on her knuckles. "They would never think that. They are both so happy for us. You have to know that."

"I do. I know that. But it's not a thought I can escape. I guess I just wish we could do more than we are. It's like you said, I wish I could change this for them." She wiped furiously at the tears that still welled.

"You should tell them that. I think Haley would like to hear that. You know, they're lucky to have each other, just like we're lucky to have each other. Life, even when it doesn't turn out like you expect, gives you just what you're meant to have."

Peyton smiled, "You really are an author aren't you?"

Lucas laughed, "I stick with what I'm good at. Words."

"Haley, Nathan, it's good to see you. How have things been?" Dr. Franco smiled from behind his large oak desk, his hands threaded calmly over a plain manila folder.

Haley smiled, "We've been okay. We saw both Dr. Rosenberg and Dr. Kelly. They came to the same conclusion as you did." She turned to look at Nathan; his head nod the only prompt she needed to continue. "We're ready to begin treatments."

Dr. Franco gave them an easy smile. "Okay." Opening up the manila folder with their name printed neatly across the tab, he scanned the reports inside. "Well I think in dealing with your PCOS Haley, I think the first natural step would be to prescribe clomiphene. Now clomiphene is usually taken in pill form for one five-day cycle a month. It helps you produce more of the hormones that trigger ovulation, prompting your ovaries to produce one or more mature eggs, depending on how often you normally ovulate. That is what we want. In the case of PCOS your ovaries are not getting the message to release an egg each month. Clomiphene helps in triggering that message."

"What are the side effects?" Nathan broke in.

Dr. Franco moved his gaze from Haley to Nathan. "Like any medication there are side effects. They can range to insomnia and tenderness of the breasts to nausea and vomiting. It really does vary, but the side effects tend to be similar to what you would see during pregnancy."

Haley nodded. "I read all of that. All the articles I read said clomiphene would be the natural first step."

"I'm glad to hear you studied up on this Haley. I've found that my patients who take a proactive approach to learning all they can have the most success because they know just what the process entails. In a lot of ways fertility treatments can be a bit of a guessing game. Everyone's body responds differently to medications, and what works for one person won't necessarily work for another. But if you come into the situation with a wide background of knowledge, it makes my job of helping you much easier." Dr. Franco pushed his wire-rim glasses further up the bridge of his nose. "Now, I must also tell you that since you don't regularly menstruate I'm also going to prescribe a medication called Provera which will induce menstruation and allow you to begin clomiphene. This way we don't have to wait for your body to naturally have a cycle. I'm sure you're both anxious to get started."

Nathan linked his hands with Haley, silently showing his support, and Haley found her voice strong and sure. "Okay. How will this work exactly?"

Dr. Franco leaned back in his chair, his gray eyes kind. "Once you're on clomiphene you'll most likely ovulate five to twelve days after the final pill. I'll need to closely monitor your ovulation, so we'll set up regular appointments to check your progress, and once we've discovered the ovulation period, the rest will be up to the two of you. It's my recommendation that we do this for the first few months, and then revisit your dosage level, or perhaps also prescribe metaformin. Sometimes with PCOS metaformin is needed to help you respond to clomiphene. But we'll discuss that if the need arises. For now, let's begin with clomiphene and see what happens."

He smiled his gray eyes bright behind his glasses. "I do want to leave you with one piece of information which I find very encouraging. Fertility drugs are quite successful at stimulating ovulation: about 80 percent of women ovulate, usually within the first three months of treatment. Of those who ovulate, 40 percent get pregnant. I don't say this to give you any unnecessary expectations, only to give you hope." He paused to give Haley and Nathan a broad smile. "This is only the beginning."

"Great choice Peyton, I've been craving pasta all day." Haley smiled happily across the table at the glowing blonde.

"Thanks." Peyton picked up her water glass, bringing it to her lips. "I'd never been here, and I always wanted to try it. So I figured today was the perfect day to."

Nathan spoke up from beside Haley, "Well if the smell is any indication, I think I'm going to be stuffed before the night is over. I've been eyeing the fettuccini alfredo at the next table. I think it's calling to me."

Lucas laughed, "I thought you were supposed to be training. Camp starts in a little over a month and you told me yesterday that you needed to get back into playing shape."

"That can start tomorrow." Leaning over, Nathan grabbed a piece of bread from the basket, applying a liberal amount of butter before popping a piece into his mouth. "Besides, I've got a healthy appetite."

Haley giggled, "Don't pick on your brother Luke. I don't need him to get a complex."

"Sorry Hales." Luke sent her a wink. "I shouldn't complain anyway, I'll beat him for sure on the court tomorrow."

Nathan raised a skeptical eyebrow. "In your dreams bro. Stomach full of alfredo or not, I'll still destroy you."

"Okay, enough basketball talk. Peyton and I hear enough of that on a regular basis. Let's talk about normal things. What did you guys do today?" Haley shifted the conversation to the unusually quiet Peyton.

Peyton shrugged, her hands folded across her ever growing stomach. "Not much. Lucas spent the afternoon writing while I made sure the Tivo didn't go to waste. It was a restful afternoon. I forgot how much I loved _The Wedding Planner_. I swear I've seen it a hundred times, and yet if it comes on I still have to stop and watch it. I own it and I still Tivoed it!"

"Oh god, I know! Matthew McConaughey. He's enough reason to stop and watch." Haley giggled as Nathan elbowed her in the side. "But of course, not as cute as you honey." She gave him a placating grin.

"Yeah, yeah." Nathan gave her a quick roll of his eyes which had the two girls laughing. "So what are you writing Lucas? The great American novel?"

Lucas smiled, "I don't know yet. I don't have a real plan with this one. I'm just kind of letting it lead me. It might just turn into a bunch of short stories. I sent the first part to my editor and John assures me that it's good, so we'll see."

"Well I can't wait to read it." Haley spoke up. "I love going into the library and seeing _Long Trip Alone_ on the shelves. You look so handsome on the back."

Nathan scoffed, "Handsome? More like squinty."

Lucas sent his brother a long look, "You're just mad I got the good looks of the family."

Before Nathan could rebut, Peyton stepped in. "Alright boys. Knock it off. I think we've had this argument before. We got it, you're both cute." Peyton smirked, and Haley struggled not to laugh.

Nathan sent his sister-in-law a look, "I see pregnancy hasn't changed much. Still as ornery as ever."

Giving Nathan a sharp elbow, Haley smiled, "Are you kidding? She's more gorgeous than ever. You know, if you weren't one of my best friends I'd really hate you for looking so good."

Peyton rolled her eyes, "Oh please, I'm huge."

"I keep trying to tell her how great she looks, but she says I have to say it." Lucas smirked.

"Peyton, I'm serious. You look so alive and happy. It's so wonderful to see. And you're not huge, you're pregnant. It's beautiful." Haley's eyes twinkled. "And Lucas may have to say it, but it is the truth. Right, Nathan?" Haley put her arm through Nathan's, catching him as he put another bite of bread in his mouth.

Nathan swallowed, nodding. "As much as you may not want to see it, pregnancy does suit you Peyt." He gave her a genuine grin.

Peyton's eyes clouded with tears that swam. "Thank you. God, hormones are driving me nuts. Who knew I was so sappy?" She waved her hand to try and stall the tears. "I love you guys. All of you. I'm so glad you're my family. I never knew family could be like this." She leaned into Lucas's shoulder, blinking back a fresh wave of tears.

Reaching across the table, Haley linked her fingers with Peyton's. "Your baby is going to have the best family. Nathan and I are going to spoil them rotten."

Nathan smiled, "I plan on loading them up on chocolate and soda and then sending them back."

Lucas groaned, "I can't wait to return the favor." He stopped, realizing what he had said and looked anxiously at Nathan and Haley.

A large smile broke across Haley's face, easing Lucas's nerves. "Neither can we. We saw Dr. Franco today. We're officially starting treatment. I won't go into all the details but he put me on a fertility medication and we're in wait and see mode. We have to see how or if I respond to the medication." She grinned at Nathan and he leaned over to kiss her briefly.

Peyton watched the way they smiled, their faces illuminated with hope and love. "I'm so happy for you. You two are the strongest people I know. I don't know how I'd react if Luke and I were in the same situation. I'd like to think we'd be like you, but I want you to know, if you need anything. Anything, even if that means, not seeing me, I understand. I want to help anyway I can."

Haley sent Peyton a confused look, "Why would we not want to see you?"

Peyton shrugged, her eyes lowering to the plain white table cloth. "I'm pregnant. I guess I could understand if it's hard to be around me with such a blatant reminder in front of you."

Haley closed her eyes, tears welling. When she opened them to look at Peyton, the brown glistened. "I could never feel like that. I'm sure Nathan feels the same way, and you have to know Peyton, you both do, that we're so thrilled for you. I don't want to diminish this experience for you. The last thing you should worry about is us. We love you. We want to be with you, to help you both. We wouldn't miss this for the world." Moving out of her chair, Haley pulled Peyton into a long hug. Lowering her voice to whisper in Peyton's ear, Haley struggled against more tears. "You're my sister Peyton. I love you. And I love your baby."

Peyton hugged back fiercely, the tears coming fast and furiously as the two girls embraced. Lucas rubbed at Peyton's back tenderly, a soft smile on his face.

When they were settled again, their eyes dry of the tears shed, Nathan sent a big smile around the table, raising his glass in a toast, "To the Scott Family, may the next generation be happier, healthier, and stronger than ever."

And as the glasses clinked, the words hung in the air for all to hear.


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

"Have you been monitoring your ovulation cycle?" Dr. Franco looked at Haley from behind his glasses, his eyes kind.

Haley nodded slowly. "Yes, we bought the monitor, and I've been tracking it on the chart you gave me at our last appointment. If I'm using the monitor correctly, I seem to be cycling every 28 days. The clomiphene seems to be working." She shot a glance to where Nathan sat quietly.

Dr. Franco scribbled in their chart, giving one slow nod. "I would definitely agree with you Haley. From your very detailed chart, I do think that the clomiphene is doing its job. How have you been feeling? Any side effects?"

"Sometimes I'm a little nauseous in the morning, but other than that, I've been good." She drew in a deep breath. "But it's been two months, and I guess we thought we'd have seen something by now." She gave Dr. Franco a sad smile.

"I can understand your frustration Haley and I know that these last two months have felt like forever. But really, we're still just beginning. This is only the first try. We have plenty of other options, and I don't want you two to lose hope. Instead of focusing on one negative part, let's list all the positive things we've seen. You're body is responding wonderfully to the clomiphene, and I think we're making huge strides in working on getting your body to get pregnant naturally. This is a huge success."

I want to continue to monitor your progress and we'll set up another appointment for 3 weeks, which should follow your next cycle. If you go another cycle without a pregnancy, we'll begin to talk about our next option. But I want the two of you to continue what you're doing. You're doing everything right; we're just in the process of figuring out what will be the winning combination for the two of you."

Haley locked eyes with Nathan, her mouth set in a firm line. "Thank you Dr. Franco. Thank you."

"You've been awfully quiet since Dr. Franco's." Haley spoke quietly, breaking the silence of the drive.

Nathan sighed deeply, his hands brushing along the steering wheel. "I know. I'm sorry."

Haley ran her hand along the back of Nathan's neck, kneading softly. "You have no reason to apologize. This has been a lot to take in recently."

"I just don't know what to say Hales. I feel like I've run out of words." He shot her a glance before turning his eyes back to the road. "I hate seeing what all of this is doing to you. I can't stand seeing you so upset, and I know there is nothing I can do to fix it. I hate feeling powerless, but that's what we are. We're powerless Haley, we have absolutely no control in this, and I've never liked that feeling."

Haley turned in her seat to face him more completely, "I know it feels that way, and it's a suffocating feeling. But you have to try and think that we are making the best of the situation we were given. I have faith in us Nathan. Together, you and I, we can do just about anything. We have the power to handle the situation in whatever way we want to. We're strong enough to handle this with our heads high." Haley squeezed his shoulder, leaning over to run her lips softly over his cheek.

Nathan pulled the car into their driveway, his hand moving to turn off the ignition. When his eyes met hers, they were clear and strong. "You truly amaze me with how strong you are. I'm going to work hard on being more hopeful. You deserve more than that."

Haley smiled slowly, brilliantly. "I'm strong because I know that no matter what the situation may be, I have you beside me."

"You've blown me away Peyton. This has to be the cutest nursery I've ever seen. Your baby is going to be so spoiled." Haley looked amazingly around the four walls, taking in the light blue skies and dark blue seas; the picturesque bay window that served as the gateway to Never Never Land. It truly was Peter Pan come alive. "It looks exactly like the book."

Peyton gave a tired smile. "Yeah, it's been a lot of work, but I really love the way it turned out. I wish I had had a camera when Luke saw the finished room. His smile was contagious."

"Peyton, this room is a dream. Your baby is going to be so happy to call this their first room." Haley smiled, leading Peyton to the window seat, already swathed in blue checks.

"Thanks. Lucas helped with a lot of the stuff up high. He caught me on a ladder a month ago and almost had a coronary. I swear his blood pressure spiked. After that, he was in here more than I was."

"He just worries about you. He's been like that since he was little. He's a natural born worrier." Haley smiled fondly.

Peyton laughed, "Oh trust me, I know. He's called Karen more times since we got pregnant than ever before. And for the littlest things too! The first time we felt the baby move, after we got over the shock and excitement of it, he called Karen to see when babies usually start moving and if our baby was too active. Too active! Can you believe that? He's driving me insane." She laughed again.

"But it's a good insane. He's happy. You both are, Peyton. And it looks good on you." Haley grinned.

"Thanks." Peyton smiled brightly before looking away nervously, blowing out a loud and long breath.

Noticing Peyton's change in demeanor, Haley covered Peyton's hand with her own. "What's wrong Peyton?"

Peyton's eyes continued to stay trained outside, but when she turned back to Haley her mouth was turned up in a slight smile. "I have something to ask you, and I want you to think about it carefully before giving me your answer."

Haley nodded, "Okay. What is it?"

"You and Nathan are the people Lucas and I feel closest to. Not only are you our friends, but you are our family. And I want you to know, that we understand if you both don't feel comfortable doing this." Peyton squeezed Haley's hand.

Haley chuckled, "Okay, but first I kind of need to know what 'this' is."

Peyton nodded as if steeling herself, preparing herself for her own words. "We'd like you and Nathan to be the godparents of our child."

"Peyton, of cour-" Haley began before she was interrupted.

"Please don't answer now. I know your first reaction is to say yes and I love you for it. But I really want you to think seriously about this. Lucas and I will completely understand if you guys decide not to." She gave Haley a sad smile. "You two have been dealing with so many things, and I want you to be absolutely sure. I love you Haley. You mean so much to me, and there is no one I'd rather have as a godmother for our baby, but I don't want you doing anything that would make things harder for the two of you."

Haley smiled softly, "I'll talk to Nathan about it, but you don't need to worry about me Peyton. I'm so honored that you would think to ask Nathan and me. We would love to share this with you. I'll ask him, but I already know what our answer will be."

"Peyton, I am so touched that you are worried about Nathan and me. Yes, we have been dealing with something difficult, but that doesn't make this time any more wonderful for you. There is nothing more I would like to do than be your child's godmother. I know you and Lucas will be wonderful parents, and to be involved in any way would be a blessing. But I will talk to Nathan. I will think seriously about this, but know that whatever Nathan and I might be dealing with is completely separate from our excitement and joy for you. We couldn't be happier for you, and we love you."

Peyton's eyes welled, the hazel brighter. "I love you Haley. You are the sister I never had. And you're a stronger person than even you know."

"I've know it for a long time." Lucas broke in from the doorway, his smile broad and easy.

Haley smiled back, "Enough with the flattery. I know I'm fantastic. You don't have to tell me twice."

Lucas laughed, coming further into the room to stand beside his wife, placing a sweet kiss to the top of her head. "I think Nathan's rubbing off on you too much. That's quite an ego."

"I know. I learned from the best." Haley grinned. "So Lucas, your wife was just showing me this incredible nursery. What do you think of the theme?"

"She continues to amaze me everyday." Lucas looked down at Peyton, their faces flush with love. "Even if I've been nagging her on how much time she's been spending in here, it truly is outstanding."

"I tried to tell him I was pregnant, not an invalid, but he seems to think the two are synonymous. But even he had to admit all the time I spent in here was worth it." Peyton ran her hand over her belly, smiling softly. "And now, we're ready to go. All Lucas has to do is put together the crib and changing table."

Lucas winced. "Speaking of which, I'm making Nate help me. Don't tell him, but I plan on luring him over here with promises of pizza and video games."

Haley laughed, "The Scott brothers and power tools. Why do I feel like a trip to the emergency room will be involved in the evening?"

Peyton let out a long laugh, her giggles only growing stronger at the look of indignation on Lucas's face. "Excuse me. I can put things together just fine. Keith taught me well. Do I need to remind you two that I worked at a car garage in high school?"

"Oh I don't doubt you could but together an engine better than most, and certainly better than my lovely husband, but furniture? I'm not so sure. And I know that Nathan will not be much help. He is not the most handy of husbands."

Lucas raised his eyebrow, "That sounds like a challenge."

Haley grinned, "Nope, just a prediction."

"Enough of this hilarious banter." Peyton stood slowly, her ever growing belly more prominent than ever. "Can you stay for lunch, or do you have plans?"

Haley looked at her watch. "No, I just told Nathan I'd meet him after his practice for a movie at 3, so I have plenty of time. What's for lunch?"

Lucas glanced at Peyton. "What do you feel like today honey? You want me to go out and grab food, or just make something here?"

"I've been craving burgers today. The baby wants salty fries." Peyton smiled wickedly. "I love this eating for two thing."

"Alright, burgers it is. I'll go out and pick some up. That sound good to you, Hales?" Lucas moved down the stairs, grabbing his keys and wallet.

Haley nodded following behind, "I've never turned down a burger in my life."

"Why don't you go with Luke?" Peyton spoke up from the top of the stairs. "I'm feeling a little tired, and I think a power nap is in order."

"Are you sure?" Haley looked helpful. "I could get things ready for lunch. Help you if you need anything."

Peyton rolled her eyes, "Oh please. I'll be asleep before my head hits the pillow. Go with Luke. I'll be fine." She shot a bright smile at Lucas. "I'll be fine, honey."

Lucas stood anxiously by the door. "Okay, but you know you can call if anything happens."

"I know. Stop worrying. I'll be fine, I promise." She gave them both another winning smile, waving them off. "Go! Go! I'm hungry, go pick up the food."

Lucas opened the door, ushering Haley through. "Okay, we'll be right back. I love you."

Peyton smiled happily, "I love you too…" she said as he closed the door. "Worrywart."

"I heard that!" He shouted through the now closed door and smiled at the giggles that followed.

Opening his car door, Lucas settled into the driver's seat, pulling the car into reverse. "Thanks for coming with me Hales. I feel like I haven't spent anytime with you lately. Every time I've seen you it's been the four of us."

Haley smiled, "I know what you mean. It's nice to get a chance to talk to you. How are you doing Lucas? Really? I've never seen you as happy as you have been these last few months."

Lucas looked out through the windshield, his smile wistful. "The emotions I've been feeling since we found out we were having a baby, I've never felt them before. I mean, I know Peyton likes to tease me about worrying all the time, and yeah, maybe I have been worse than usual, but every ounce of me wants to do everything I can to make sure she and the baby are okay." He gave Haley a quick look. "That's normal right?"

"Of course it is. You're starting a family. You're going through so many things right now, and they're all new. This is an exciting time for the two of you. It's natural to worry about how things are going." Haley gave Lucas a reassuring smile.

"Thanks Hales." Lucas smiled, "So how are things with you?"

Haley let out a long breath. "Things are okay. We went to the doctor yesterday. Dr. Franco is monitoring everything and we're still waiting. The medication is working but if things continue like they are, Dr. Franco said we'll start thinking about other options."

Lucas nodded, stopping the car at a red light. "How are you dealing with that?"

Haley shrugged, "The best I can. I'm trying to stay positive. It's hard, but I guess I knew it was going to be like this. A part of me thought that once there was a diagnosis, once we started on a course of action that things would fall in to place. But the other part of me was trying to prepare myself for the long haul, to make sure I really knew that this could be an infinitely long process. And I had to make sure that it was worth it. And it is. It really, truly is."

"How's Nathan doing?" Lucas pulled the car into a parking spot. "I can't imagine what I would do in your situation, but Nathan must be going crazy."

"It's hard on him. He feels helpless. He's used to controlling situations, to being able to affect the outcome. But now we're both just relying on medicine, on science, to help us. And we don't know how long we have to wait for that help. That's the hardest part, knowing that we have no clue when the end is. We could be waiting for weeks, or years. But we're waiting together. That's the difference."

Lucas reached across the consul to pull Haley into a tight hug. "If there's ever anything Peyton or I can do to help, I hope you know you can ask any time. Day or night. We'll be there for you."

Haley smiled, "I know you will. We know you both will. Thanks Luke."

"So what did you think? Thumbs up, or thumbs down?" Nathan slung his arm around Haley's shoulders as they walked up the driveway, the ground wet from a fresh rain.

Haley smiled, "Definitely thumbs up! I loved it. Will Ferrell is hilarious. I don't care how many times he does these kinds of movies, they will always be funny. What about you?"

Nathan laughed, "I agree. Very funny. Besides, Will did one of the most quotable movies of all time. 'You know I'm kind of a big deal. I have many leather bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.'"

Haley giggled as Nathan's voice deepened to recite the familiar lines from _Anchorman_. "You sound just like him honey. And you are a big deal."

"Thanks." Nathan opened the front door, flicking on the hall light and dropping his keys on the hall table. "Are you hungry?"

"Not really. I had a late lunch with Luke and Peyton. But if you're hungry, I can eat." Haley continued to walk into the kitchen, grabbing a water from the fridge.

Nathan followed closely behind her, boosting himself up to sit on the counter. "No, I'm okay; I ate enough Sour Patch Kids for a small country."

Laughing, Haley moved to stand between Nathan's legs. "Well they are sour and sweet. A deadly, yet delicious combination."

Nathan nodded, "Very delicious."

Running her hands along Nathan's thighs, she played with the hem of his t-shirt. "So, Peyton asked me something today. Well really, it's for both of us."

"Okay. What'd she ask?" Nathan grabbed Haley's water, taking a long sip.

Haley looked up, locking eyes with him, ready to gauge his reaction. "They want us to be their baby's godparents."

The smile that broke out on Nathan's face was broad. "Really? That's so cool. What did you say?"

"I tried to say yes, but Peyton insisted we take the time and think about it. She's worried about what we're dealing with, and she didn't want us to rush into anything that might make us uncomfortable. What do you think?"

Nathan took in a deep breath, his eyes continually focused on her. "I think that being godparents to this baby is exactly what we need right now. I'm grateful that Lucas and Peyton are worried about us, but this might be exactly what we need. We've been dealing with so many different things lately."

"That's what I was thinking. It's just, to be involved in that way, to have them ask to be such an important part of their child's life, I was blown away. And you should have seen Peyton; she was so worried about us, about how we would feel. I guess I didn't realize until that moment, how worried she is about how her pregnancy is affecting us." Haley leaned into Nathan's chest, her arms banding around his waist.

"She loves you. She doesn't want to make an already hard situation, worse." Nathan wrapped his arms tightly around Haley, pulling her in close. "And we'll go over there tomorrow, and we'll tell them that nothing would make us happier than to be the godparents to their child. This way, we can corrupt them with Luke's blessing."

"I love you Nathan." Haley's voice was muffled against Nathan's chest.

Kissing her on top of the head, Nathan smiled, "I love you too."

"We've thought about it, and really it didn't take any thought at all. We'd be honored to be your baby's godparents. We didn't even hesitate in our decision." Haley smiled at Peyton from across the table.

"Really? Are you sure?" Peyton looked from Haley to Nathan, her hand linked tightly with Luke's. "You're both sure?"

Nathan grinned, "Completely."

Haley nodded, "And my first duty as godmother is to plan you a baby shower. Now, I know that Brooke really wanted to help plan one, but since she's in New York, I'm taking over." Haley grinned. "So I need the two of you to let me know the dates that will work for you, and I will do the rest. It'll be the best baby shower anyone's ever seen."

Lucas laughed, "She's only five months along. Isn't this a little soon?"

Both girls looked at Lucas as if he was crazy, but it was Haley who spoke up. "It's never too early to start planning a party. Besides, Nathan's season starts in a week, and then he'll be all over the country. Better to get started now. So get those dates listed and think of whom you want invited. Women only? Men and women? We've got a lot of things to decide."

Lucas cleared his throat, "This sounds like a girl conversation. Nathan, how do you feel about pizza and video games?" He sent his brother a charming smile even while Haley and Peyton dissolved into giggles.

Nathan arched one eyebrow, "Why do I feel like this is some sort of inside joke?"

Haley grinned, "Don't worry honey, Peyton and I can call 911 if you boys need it." Peyton and Haley's laughter grew, leaving a grinning Lucas and a confused Nathan.


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

**Chapter Eleven**

"Where did I write down their flight number?" Haley leafed through a stack of papers on the kitchen counter. "Nathan, have you seen the paper I wrote it down on? I could have sworn I left it on the counter."

Nathan walked in from the hallway. "Last I saw, it was right next to the phone." He moved past her to grab an apple from the refrigerator. He leaned back against the counter, his long legs stretched out in front of him as he bit in to the bright green apple.

"Found it!" Haley held up the piece of paper triumphantly. Her eyes scanned the information. "Okay, so their flight gets in at five, American Airlines flight 483. They said they'd be checking luggage, so we can just pick them up at the baggage claim." She looked up at Nathan. "You're going to come with me, right?"

Nathan nodded, "That was the plan. We should probably leave here in about an hour or so." He took another big bite, crunching loudly.

Haley moved closer to him, grabbing Nathan's wrist to pull the apple lower, taking her own bite. She smiled as her teeth chewed the slightly sour apple. "So, we have an hour…" her words trailed off as she grinned at Nathan.

"We do." Nathan leaned closer to Haley, his lips mere inches from hers. "What could we possibly do for the next hour?"

Haley faked contemplation, her finger tapping lightly against his lips. "I'm sure we can think of something." She closed the gap between them, the length of her lips covering his. Standing on her tip toes, she moved herself closer to him, feeling his arms tighten to pull her closer, their bodies connected from shoulder to hip. She felt the heat of his skin beneath his t-shirt, and his hands ran along the waistband of her jeans, pushing the soft material of her shirt up.

Fluidly, Nathan turned them so that Haley's back was pressed against the counter, her hips angled against his before he boosted her to sit on the counter, their lips never leaving each other's. The sudden change of height gave her better access to his mouth, his neck, his cheeks. She pressed kisses along the curve of his jaw, her tongue running lightly across his lips. Nathan's own tongue darted out to lick hers playfully, before pressing a hot, open mouthed kiss to her neck.

Haley's mind clouded as Nathan's mouth worked beneath her ear. "We might need more than an hour."

Nathan's deep laugh was the last thing she could focus before the roar in her ears drowned out everything around her.

"The one time the airlines are on time, and we're running late." Haley blew her hair out of her face as she walked quickly beside Nathan, dodging the many travelers that cluttered the baggage claim. "I don't see them anywhere. Are we in the right terminal?" Haley stood on her tip toes to try and see over the crowd.

Nathan's eyes scanned above her, from right to left, before they settled and he grinned. "They're over there." He lifted a hand in a wave and pulled Haley behind him, weaving around the various luggage being pulled by harried passengers.

The crowds all but parted and she spotted them as well, her steps quickening as she ran the last few steps to grab her mother in a tight hug. "Mom!"

Lydia James' arms tightened around her youngest daughter "Oh, Haleybub! I'm so glad to see you." She pulled back to take a good look at her daughter. She smiled, tucking a stray lock of Haley's hair behind her ear. "And Nathan!" Lydia grinned at her son-in-law. "Get over here and give me a hug."

Nathan grinned, bending down to give Lydia a tight hug. "It's good to see you Lydia."

"Where's Dad?" Haley rocked happily on the balls of her feet.

Lydia rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "Oh you know you're father. He's up there fighting for a spot beside the carousel. He wants to be one of the first to get their luggage, even though every piece of luggage looks virtually the same. I had to tie a big blue ribbon to the handle, otherwise we'd never find it." She looked through the crowd. "He's over there, next to the guy in the Hawaiian shirt."

Nathan followed Lydia's eye line. "I'll go help him with the bags. Maybe we can speed up the process a little bit." He sent both women a smile before making his way over to where Jimmy was standing.

Lydia watched him go before turning to look at Haley. "I'm so glad we were able to arrange a visit before Nathan's season starts up again. It's been too long since we've seen you both. Quinn sends her love."

Haley smiled at her sister's name. "How's life in San Francisco for Quinn? I feel like I haven't seen her in ages. I usually try and go on one of Nathan's road trips to California so I can catch up with her, but we weren't able to make it work last season. Hopefully we can this year."

"Oh you know you're sister. She's great, working too much in my opinion, but she's great. She just got a promotion, so she's traveling a bit more, but she loves it. We met her boyfriend Henry. I think we might be hearing wedding bells in the future for them."

"Really?" Haley gave that bit of news some thought. "Hopefully I'll get to meet him. Though, if Quinn's dating him, I'm sure he's great."

Lydia smiled, "He is. They met through one of her co-workers, and I don't think I've seen Quinn quite so happy with anyone before. It was nice to see. Now if I can just get Taylor to settle down, all my kids will be happy."

Haley rolled her eyes. "Good luck on that one, Mom."

"I know it's a tall order, but a mother can try, right?" Lydia pulled at the strap of her purse as Nathan and Jimmy approached with the luggage in tow. "Were you able to get it all?"

Jimmy looked at the luggage. "I think so. Those blue ribbons really helped. I almost grabbed someone else's bag a few times. Thankfully Nathan was there to help." He clapped Nathan on the back. He moved to pull Haley into a big hug. "How's my youngest?"

Haley giggled, "I'm great Dad! I'm just so glad you guys were able to come and visit." She squeezed her dad tightly.

"We're glad we could come too. I know your season starts up again soon Nathan, so we really wanted to come before you'd be on the road again. It feels like it's been awhile since we've all had the chance to visit." Jimmy smiled at Nathan and Haley.

Nathan nodded, "I know what you mean. And I don't know about you guys, but I'm hungry. How about we head out to dinner?"

Jimmy laughed, "Now you're speaking my language."

Haley padded quietly down the hall, her bare feet treading softly across the wood floors. She slipped quietly into the kitchen, turning on one soft light. She opened up the refrigerator door, standing in front of it.

"I thought I'd be the only one up at this time." Lydia's voice broke in softly, startling Haley briefly.

Haley closed the refrigerator door, smiling softly. "Yeah, I couldn't fall asleep. I'm not even hungry; it just seemed like something to do."

Lydia nodded. "I was going to make myself a cup of tea. Would you like one?" She moved to pull two mugs from the cabinet, not even waiting for Haley's response.

"Thanks Mom, that sounds great." Haley moved to fill the teapot with water, before settling it on the stove.

Lydia smiled, "Do you remember the last time we sat in the kitchen and drank tea?"

Haley nodded as her eyes turned thoughtful. "It was the night before my wedding. I was nervous about everything, and you sat up with me. My life was changing and you helped assure me that I was making the right decision."

"And you were. You and Nathan have been happier than even I could have hoped for. Not many people can say that they've been with their husband since they were sixteen. That's something to be proud of." Lydia moved the teapot off the stove, filling the two mugs.

"I love Nathan more everyday. It's the one thing I know will never change." Haley took the outstretched mug from her mother, blew over the hot liquid to cool it, before taking a long sip.

Lydia looked at Haley over the top of her mug. "How are you Haley? Really?"

Haley took a deep breath, her fingers tightening around her mug, betraying the words she forced to sound perky. "I'm good."

Lydia studied her daughter's face, saw the newly formed worried lines on her face. "Haley, honey, it's me. Talk to me."

Haley's strong veneer cracked and the tears fell in streams along her cheeks. Her chin tucked into her chest as the tears came fast and furious. Lydia moved quickly to take her youngest into her arms, holding on tight as Haley's tears quickly soaked her t-shirt. Haley clung to her mother, relishing in the familiar comfort, the ability to find release for her fears. Here was a chance to let out all her emotions, to find comfort in her mother's words, in her gestures.

Slowly Haley felt the tension, the coil of emotions that had taken up residence in her for the past few months, loosen and scatter, her tears bringing about a chance to free herself from the pain she had lived in. Each day that had gone by with no change, each moment that had hung with no end in sight, had brought her closer to this breaking point. Her strong façade, the one she clung so desperately to was wiped away and she was left open and weak. She felt tired, utterly desolate and ravaged by her own worries and fears.

Her sobs, no longer loud and torturous, but rather a release of pent up emotion, had her loosening her hold on her mother. She eased back, wiping furiously at her eyes, her lips trembling. She pressed them together, forming a thin line, as she tried to settle her breathing. Raising her eyes from her shaking hands, she took in the sorrowful look of her mother.

"I hate to see you like this Haley. This is more than I can bear." Lydia's own eyes glistened with tears but her cheeks remained dry, her voice clear and strong.

Haley searched for the words, searched for what she was feeling, how to describe it. When she heard her voice, she was surprised to hear how shaken it really sounded. "I've never felt this way before Mom. It's hard to even put it into words."

Lydia nodded, "Try. Just talk. Don't think about it, just talk. What do you feel?"

Haley blew out a long breath, and surprisingly the words flowed from her. "I feel angry. I feel horribly angry. Angry at myself, upset that this is happening to me, happening to Nathan. I feel resentment that something I want so badly, comes so easily to others. I feel depressed and desolate, like I can never go back to the way I once was, to the person I was before. I feel cheated. Why does something as natural as wanting a family come so difficultly to me? I feel a million different emotions at any different moment, and I hate feeling like I have no control. I shift between wanting to scream and wanting to cry, wanting to lash out at anyone in front of me, and wanting to hold on desperately to Nathan and the way we were six months ago. I look at Lucas and Peyton, I see them so happy about to start a family, and I want to stamp my foot and pout like a small child. Why me? Why do I-- why do we have to be the ones to struggle? I feel pitiful. I don't feel like me. This isn't me. I don't like what this is making me become."

Lydia was silently for a long moment, her eyes thoughtful as her daughter's eyes once again dropped to her lap as the weight of her words hung in the air around them. When she spoke, it was soft and comforting. "No one could possibly blame you for what you're feeling Haley. Most people in your position, they'd be lashing out at the people they love. But there's no reason to bottle up what you're feeling. None of us know what you're going through, not even Nathan. This is something that you are dealing with it, but you're not alone, and even though Nathan is here with you, he's not as connected as you are. This isn't changing you Haley, it's making you stronger. No one deserves what the two of you are dealing with, but I know you are both strong enough to withstand it."

"Sometimes I'm not so sure." Haley's voice was small. "Sometimes, I don't know if I'll make it through the day without cracking. But Nathan has been so great, he's been so supportive. Seeing the way he's been with me, even when he hasn't been so sure what to stay, he's been beside me, letting me lean on him. He's been strong for me, and I couldn't imagine going through this without him."

"Have you talked to him? Have you told him what you're feeling? He would understand Haley. He would want to help you."

Haley shook her head furiously, "I haven't, not because I don't want to, but because I didn't want to put this on him. I don't want to make him feel what I've been feeling. It's bad enough that I feel this way, why would I want to make him feel like this too. That may be selfish, but I'm trying to protect him."

Lydia spoke quickly, "Nathan's strong, Haley. You said so yourself. He wouldn't like knowing you've been feeling this alone. I know my son in law, and I know he loves you more than he can put into words. He'd do anything for you. That's a blessing."

Haley nodded, her smile genuine. "I know it is. I love him in that same way. I think that's why I was trying to hold this from him. I love him too much to cause him pain. But maybe it's time I talked with him. I owe him that, I owe him my honesty."

Satisfied, Lydia moved the conversation, "Well what has your doctor said. What are the two of you doing in terms of fertility treatment?"

Relieved to be onto a safer topic Haley let out a long breath. "Dr. Franco has me on metaformin. It's to help regulate my cycles and keep my blood sugar in control. I've been on it for three months, and we have an appointment next week. I think we'll start new treatment then. This hasn't been working. Thankfully, Dr. Franco has a wealth of experience with infertility treatments, so I know we'll figure it out. I've just never felt so impatient in my life."

"If you didn't, I'd wonder what was wrong with you. I love you Haley, and I know that you and Nathan are strong enough to weather this. I just hope you see that too." She reached her hand across the table and grasped Haley's tightly. "Believe in the two of you."

"Nathan?" Haley's voice was small, her hand reaching out to tap at his shoulder.

Nathan turned, the free weights flexed in his arm. "Hey honey. I didn't hear you come home. How was shopping with your mom?" He leaned forward to give her a quick kiss, careful to keep the sweat off her.

"It was good. We went downtown. I talked Mom out of buying a ceramic pig. Overall, a fun shopping day." Haley moved farther into their home gym, standing beside Nathan.

Nathan laughed, "Yeah, I don't see why a ceramic pig would ever be necessary." Leaning down, he dropped the weight to the ground and wiped at his face with a spare towel. "Did you buy anything?"

Haley shook her head. "No, not today. I didn't see anything I wanted or that we needed." She sank to the weight bench behind her, her hands knotting in her lap.

"What's on your mind, Hales?" His eyes watched her, even as he took a long pull from the water bottle beside him.

Haley took a deep breath, "I've been unfair to you Nathan."

"What?" Nathan's brow puckered, his expression confused. "How?"

"Everything that's been happening with us, all our visits with Dr. Franco, the appointments, I've been trying to stay strong. And most of the time I am. But every day I feel a little worse, I feel more angry. I don't like feeling this way. I don't like knowing that I feel resentful and unhappy. And I worry that this will only worsen as time goes on." Haley's eyes stayed locked on his, reading any change of his expression. What she saw was only love and understanding.

"Thank god." Nathan let a grin explode on his face. "I'm so glad I'm not the only one feeling this way. I was worried I was the only one."

"Nathan?" Haley was shocked at his reaction.

"I've been feeling like this since our first appointment with Dr. Franco. Why were we the ones having to deal with this, when others are able to have huge families? I don't like feeling powerless, and yet, here we are, helpless. That isn't me Hales, you know I like to be proactive. But knowing I can't do anything to help us, nothing to make this easier for us. I love you Hales, and I hate seeing you in pain, seeing you upset and knowing we just have to wait it out." Nathan rolls his water bottle between his hands. "I rarely feel jealous of what other people have, but these last couple of months, whenever I see a dad walking down the street with his kid, I feel a little tug of jealousy. And I always knew that if I felt that way, I couldn't even begin to imagine how hard it is for you."

Haley lets out a shaking breath, one she wasn't even aware she was holding. The tears well in her eyes and he's in front of her gathering her in his arms, both of them ignoring the thin sheen of sweat that covers his arms and chest. When he speaks, his voice is rough, "We'll get through this Haley, I know we will. It just might not be at the pace that either of us like. I love you and I will do whatever it takes to have a family with you, but maybe we need to talk to Dr. Franco about trying new options."

Haley nods against his chest, her eyes dry now. "I think you're right. We've tried this, we've tried me being on medication, but maybe we need to think about actual infertility treatments. We're supposed to see him next week. We could talk to him about it then."

Pulling back, Nathan studies her face. "Let's talk to him."

"So you've been on the metaformin for 3 months now Haley, and while we've seen your blood sugar stabilize, it really hasn't done much to help with the fertility. I think its time we should start to think about a new option." Dr. Franco sat across from them, his face sincere.

Nathan tightened his grip on Haley's hand. "I'm glad you think so Dr. Franco, because Haley and I have been talking about this a lot. We haven't seen much progress and it's getting harder to stay positive. We want to hear about different options, how we can continue our fertility treatments. My basketball season is starting up again in about a month, and I'll be gone on road trips. So, we know this is only going to get harder in terms of the amount of time I'll be gone." Haley nodded beside him.

"We just really don't want to waste any more time." Haley spoke up. "I've been researching fertility treatments on the internet, to try and get an idea of what we could do. What would you recommend Dr. Franco?"

Dr. Franco cleared his throat before speaking, "I know that fertility treatments are often a long and torturous process. In a lot of ways, it's a guessing game on what works best with a person, what they respond to. Now, we've tried metaformin, but there are other medications we can try. Or, there is always the option on starting fertility shots, which is also known as Ovulation Induction. Some couples find the shots fairly invasive, considering the husbands have to give to their wives. Not all husbands are able to do it."

Nathan shuddered slightly, "Well I know I wouldn't enjoy it, but if it was what we decided would be the best for us, I could do it."

"Do you think we should be starting fertility shots, or should we try another medication?" Haley spoke clearly.

"In my opinion, I don't want to jump to fertility shots without exhausting all other options. I know that this time is very frustrating, but I think we would be doing you a disservice if we didn't look into every option." Shuffling through their file on his desk, Dr. Franco's eyes skimmed through their charts. "Clearly the metaformin is not working, but there is another medication I think would be our best next step. It's called clomiphene citrate which is a medication that induces ovulation. And based on the tests we've run Haley, that seems to be one of our factors." Standing up, Dr. Franco walked to his file cabinet to pull out some information.

"Here's some information I want you to look over. I'm going to give you some time to read it over, and if it feels like something you want to do, I can start a prescription for you. If you both decide you'd rather skip this step, and go straight to shots, I'll support you, but as your doctor, I really do recommend we try this medication." He handed them a packet of information. "Would you like to take a couple of days, and we can make an appointment once you've decided?"

Haley looked at Nathan, "I think it would be best if we took the time to read the information and really talk about all our options. I don't think either of us would be comfortable in jumping into anything without knowing all the facts."

"I agree. I want to make sure we're 100 confident in our decision." Nathan glanced at the information. "I really do appreciate all the help you've given us Dr. Franco. You've given us some things to think about."

Dr. Franco smiled, "It's what I'm hear for Nathan. When you two have made a decision, give us a call. I'll make sure we have time to fit in an appointment with you, for whenever you need it."

Haley smiled, looking at the information in her hands. "Thank you."

"It feels like you guys just got here, and now you have to leave." Haley stood in the doorway as her parents packed up their belongings.

Jimmy laughed from where he stood folding shirts. "Time does always fly when you're having fun. And I know we don't live as close as we used to, but I think it makes these visits even better. We're able to appreciate each other more."

"Yeah, but I still miss you guys." Haley sighed, moving to sit in the middle of the bed. She felt like she was a teenager again, sitting in her parents' room as they got ready to go out with friends. It was comforting to feel young again when everything that had been happening with Nathan and her, their decision for the next step weighing heavily on her mind. "But I know it's hard with everyone so spread out."

"Well you know Quinn is in San Francisco, Mark, Carrie and the kids are in Texas, Tommy's up in Michigan, and Taylor is wherever the wind blows. You and Nathan are the only ones who stayed in North Carolina, and when we bought the RV, we did it so we could see all our children more often." Lydia smiled at her daughter, "But we do miss Tree Hill."

Haley smiled, "Well hopefully Nathan and I will soon have a good reason to get you guys out here more often."

"I know you will, honey. It's just a matter of time." Lydia threw her daughter a wink. "And you know we're never too far away. You can call us anytime."

"I know Mom. It was great having you guys here this week. It's been a hard couple of months with everything going on." Haley smiled happily. "It really has helped both of us to have you here."

Jimmy moved to give Haley a strong hug. "I know things aren't going the traditional way right now. But I'm proud of the way you and Nathan are dealing with everything. And you know your mother and I will support whatever you decide to do."

"Are you guys almost ready? We don't want you to miss your flight." Nathan appeared in the doorway, giving them all a grin.

"Trying to get rid of us, Nate?" Jimmy laughed. "I mean, I know I beat you on the green yesterday, but you should know golf really is my game."

Nathan laughed, "I definitely will want a rematch next visit. Maybe the next time I swing through Houston, I'll take Mark out on the course. I know that you're just copying his swing."

Jimmy let out a loud laugh, moving to hug Nathan quickly. "Nate, you never fail to amuse me. Take care of my little girl." It was the way he said goodbye every visit, and even though he knew it was coming, it still made Nathan smile.

The words slid off his tongue, as easy as breathing, "Like she was my world."

"What are you thinking?" They had been sitting together on the living room couch reading the information Dr. Franco had given them the day before.

Nathan let out a deep breath. "My first instinct is to jump right into the fertility shots because that seems to be the most proactive option. We've seen how hard it is to wait around and hope that the medication is working. We've done that, we've dealt with all those emotions, and I don't really enjoy the idea of going through that again."

Haley nodded, "I agree. It's easy to want to jump to the option that we think might give us the quickest results, especially since we've felt so powerless. But as much as I would love to speed this along, I think we would be remiss to not go through every option. Especially because the shots are expensive, and I don't think you'll like giving them to me."

"You're probably right about that. But I would, if that was what we needed. You know that right?" Nathan's arm stretched to pull her tightly into his side.

Haley grinned, "I know you would. But I think this is a pretty clear decision. We should try the clomiphene citrate first, and work from there. We might be lucky and it will work, and then we won't have to go through the shots. I think we'd be mistaken if we didn't try all our options first, don't you?"

"Yeah, you're right. It's best to cover all our options. I trust Dr. Franco and he seemed to think this would be the best next step for us." He leaned over to press a kiss to her temple. "I just hope it goes better than the last medication did. I don't want to go through another three months like that. Especially since I'll be on the road. I hate the thought of leaving you when all of this is going on."

Haley snuggled further into his side, her legs draped across his lap. "I don't like the thought of you leaving either, but we're old pros at it by now. And I'll come out on some of the road trips with you. I really want to try and go when you play Houston so I can see Mark and the kids. It will be hard, but just imagine, at this time next year, we could be having a baby, or even better, we could already have a baby." She pressed a kiss to his lips.

Settling into the kiss, Nathan ran his hands up and down her back. Shifting his weight, he pulled her more on top of him, banding his arms around her. "I love you Haley. I love everything about you. And I love how strong you've been through all of this. I wish I could change it, I wish I could make it go away. But I'm comforted in the fact that you are the strongest person I know."

Haley's head dipped to lie against his chest, his heartbeat a steady echo in her ear. "I love you too Nathan. I can't wait to start a family with you, and even though it's taking longer than either of us thought, I can't wait to meet our children."

They settled into the silence, their even breathing a calm pace against the chaos of their emotions. Things were changing, hopefully for the better, but either way, they knew it was only the beginning.


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

"I wish you didn't have to go." Haley spoke up from the dark, her head resting on Nathan's chest, the moonlight from the open window draped across the bed.

His arms tightened instinctively around her. "I wish I didn't either. But training camp is mandatory. The season is starting in a little over a month and Coach has been talking about some new ideas. A lot of the guys on the team are pretty excited about them. Not to mention we have some new players."

"I know. I've just gotten so used to having you around everyday, its hard when the season starts and you have to travel again." She kissed at the soft skin of his chest. "But I know you're going to have a great year. All the papers are talking about the team."

"There's a lot of pressure this year. Everyone thought we would do better in the playoffs than we did, so when we went out in the semi-finals last year, a lot of people were disappointed. The whole team knows how much attention we've had on us, and we need to really step it up. We can't give anyone a reason to doubt us." Nathan's arms loosened, his fingers leaving hers to play with the hem of the sheet that lay draped across them.

Haley sighed against his skin, "You'll be great. I know you will. I just wish you didn't put so much pressure on yourself. The media, the owners, the coaches, they already put enough on you without you adding to it."

"I know, but I can't help it. I want to win a championship so badly Hales. I can all but taste it. This is our year. Tommy and I have been talking about what we can do to change things in the playoffs. We can't blame it on the inexperience of the team, not anymore. We want to win, and we've got to take charge." Nathan's voice was rough.

"You will Nathan. I know you will." Haley pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. "What time do you have to be at the airport tomorrow?"

Nathan sighed, "A car is picking me up tomorrow at nine. I think our flight leaves at eleven."

Haley glanced at the clock on the bedside table; saw the illuminated numbers that read 1:22 am. "It looks like we have some time. You're not tired are you?" She lifted her head to grin at him.

Nathan raised one eyebrow, "Definitely not." He leaned up to kiss her, his mouth pressing firmly against hers, his tongue sliding between her lips to caress hers. Haley moaned into his mouth, her fingers threading through his hair, pulling him tight against her. Her skin slid along his, her legs intertwining with his.

Raising herself up on her elbows she looked down into his face, pausing to take time to trace her finger along the slope of his jaw. "I love you."

His face mirrored hers, a look of love evident in his features. "I love you too."

"How's training camp going for Nathan? They've been talking about the team a lot on ESPN." Lucas spoke from beside Haley on the couch, his legs stretched out in front of him.

"He seems to be really excited about the team this year. I guess they have a new forward, Trace Datin, and Nathan's thrilled with his addition to the team." Haley smiled. "When I talked to him last night, he kept going on and on about Trace. I think he's got a bit of a man-crush."

Lucas laughed loudly, "I can't wait to give him hell about it. But, truthfully, Datin is a great player. The Bobcats were lucky to get him. I think just about every team was looking at him once he became a free agent. I think his style will work well with Nathan's."

"You should tell Nathan that. He'd love to hear it. He's so stressed out; I can hear it in his voice. I guess he's been doing a lot of press recently, and all the journalists are asking about what happened in the playoffs. You know how much pressure he puts on himself, so he takes it harder than most would." Haley ran a hand through her hair. "He always gets like this during training camp, but it seems worse this year. I think everything happening with us is only compounding the issue."

Lucas's gaze softened. "It's been hard on both of you Haley, but you know you'll make it through. I know it's not happening as quickly as either of you guys wanted or expected, but that doesn't mean it won't."

Haley nodded, her eyes flooding with tears. When she found her voice it was shaky. "I know you're right Luke. Logically, I know you're right. But in my heart, it gets a little bit harder every day. When Nathan was here, I could deal with it because I knew he was around. But now, with him gone for the next couple of weeks, and then all the road trips…" She broke off, her words failing her.

Lucas moved to throw his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a hug. "I know it will be hard not having Nathan around. But you know you have me and Peyton. We're only ten minutes away, and we would be here in a heartbeat if you needed us. And don't forget your husband's a big NBA star. You can afford to visit him on the road."

"I know. I'm going to try and meet him on his trip through Houston so I can see Mark, Carrie and the kids. And I already told Quinn I'd go with Nathan when he plays out in Northern California. Supposedly she's getting pretty serious with her boyfriend." She smiled briefly.

Lucas smiled, "Well good. And he'll be home more than you think. I know how hard it's been for you guys lately, but it's bound to get better. How's the new medicine you're on?"

Haley straightened, wiping at the tears that were drying on her cheeks. "It's okay. I've only been on it for a couple of weeks, so who knows if it will do anything, but all I can be is optimistic. I have to hope that this time will be different."

"Well just know that we're hoping the very same thing. Peyton's been really upset lately, she's so worried about you. I talked with her doctor and she said it's normal for pregnant women to become overly emotional, but she's having a hard time. She wants to help you so badly. I've never really seen her like this." Lucas looked toward the stairs, where Peyton was resting in their bedroom.

Haley squeezed Lucas's hand. "Nathan and I are so lucky to have you both in our lives. How about I go up and talk to her? Give you a little break."

"Thanks Hales. I called Brooke last week to see if she could come and visit, but she's been prepping magazine shoots. She tried to clear her schedule, but she wasn't having much luck. I'm hoping she'll be able to spend some time with Peyton soon. She's always been good at cheering her up." Lucas smiled.

Haley nodded, "Having Brooke here would definitely help Peyton's moods. In the meantime, I'll see what I can do to help." She left Lucas quickly, taking the stairs rapidly. She stood outside their closed bedroom door and took a moment before knocking softly.

"Peyton?" Haley opened the door slowly, her eyes moving around the dim room. They settled on Peyton's curled form on the bed, her eyes open. "Hey."

Peyton moved to sit up, her movements all the slower due to the ever growing bump. "Hey Hales." She gave her a bright smile. "I didn't know you were coming over."

Haley moved into the room to sit on the bed beside Peyton. "Yeah, I called Lucas earlier and told him I'd stop by for a little bit. I realized I hadn't really seen you guys since Nathan left. How's everything with you? How's the baby?"

"Everything's good. We just went to the doctor last week. Can you believe I'm almost six months pregnant? I can't quite believe how huge I've gotten." Peyton smiled as she rubbed a hand over her belly. "He's really started kicking."

Haley grinned, laying her hand on Peyton's belly, feeling the ripple beneath her fingers. "Wow. Peyton." She felt the lump form in her throat. "Wait a minute, did you say 'he'? Did you guys decide to find out the sex?"

Peyton giggled, "No, we're still waiting. I've just gotten in the habit of calling it a 'he.' It just sounded too impersonal, like I'm having a rock or a stapler. I don't know, I just really think it's going to be a boy. Lucas thinks it's going to be a girl. I already bet him he's wrong."

"You bet Lucas on the sex of the baby?" Haley laughed. "What did you guys bet?"

Peyton shrugged, "Whoever's wrong has to change all the diapers for the first month. But don't worry, I know I'm right."

Haley shook her head softly, laughing. "You guys crack me up. I don't think I've ever heard of anyone else betting their spouse about the sex. But let me just say, I agree with you, I think it's a boy."

"That's what I keep trying to tell Lucas. But instead, he's started calling the baby Rufus to drive me crazy. I guess he thinks if he refers to it with some awful boy name, I'll change my mind." Peyton laughed.

"He really calls the baby Rufus?" Haley wrinkled her nose. "That's a horrible name for a baby. It sounds like an old English man."

"I know, right! But don't worry; to get even with him, I've started to call the baby Gertrude. Two can play at that game." Peyton giggled again.

"Rufus and Gertrude. What a cute little elderly couple." Haley giggled along with Peyton. "Have you guys thought about real names?"

"We've started a list, but I know I won't be able to pick one until I actually meet him. I don't want to have one picked out. We talked about it and we're going to keep our list in the back of our minds, and hopefully we'll come to an agreement that day."

"I think that's a great idea. You'll know when you see him."

Peyton nodded thoughtfully, "Enough about me, how are you? I know it's hard for you when Nathan's gone."

"Yeah it is, but I've gotten used to it. It's been a little harder this year with everything that's been going on, but I'm good. I've been on a new medication for the last couple of weeks, so we've moved on to the next phase. I hope this one is more successful than the last, but if not, we've talked about what we want to do." Haley paused to smile at Peyton. "It helped having my parents here. Nathan and I talked about it and we're both doing better."

Fresh tears pooled in Peyton's eyes. "You don't know how happy I am to hear that Hales. I've been so worried about you. I know I've been driving Lucas a little crazy, but I can't seem to shut off the tears. I just know how amazing I've been feeling and I want you to feel it too. I love you Haley, I love you and Nathan both, and I want you to have everything you want. I hate seeing how hard this is for you, and I wish I could do more to help."

Haley wrapped her arms tightly around Peyton. "You do help me Peyton. Having you and Luke, knowing that we have you to count on, that's more than anyone could ask for. I love you, Peyton."

Peyton's tears dampened Haley's shirt, "I love you too Haley."

"Hey honey, how was practice today?" Haley cradled the phone on her shoulder as she squeezed toothpaste onto her toothbrush.

Nathan let out a long sigh from the other end of the phone. "It was good. Exhausting, but really good. We've been working on some new defensive strategies, and it finally came together today. We were on the court for almost six hours, but it felt really good. I know I keep saying this Hales, but we've got a real chance this year."

"Oh Nathan, I'm so glad to hear that." Haley smiled at the excitement in his voice. "What are you up to now?" She started to brush her teeth, a white foam quickly forming at the corners of her mouth.

Nathan smiled at the familiar sound and wished he was at home, getting ready for bed with her. "I ordered some room service, so I'm just waiting for it to get here. Some of the guys were going to go out to eat, but I was too tired. All I kept thinking about was lying on my bed and zoning out while watching TV. And I wanted to talk to you."

Haley spit out the excess toothpaste and took a sip of water from the faucet. "Well I'm glad. I wasn't sure if I would get to talk to you today. You said you were going to have a long practice today, so I wasn't sure."

"I always find time to talk to you, even if it isn't for as long as either of us like. Besides I wanted to hear about your day. What did you do today?" Nathan settled along the length of the bed, his arm resting behind his head.

Haley dropped her toothbrush into the cup beside the sink, before flicking off the light and moving into the bedroom. "I went out to Lucas and Peyton's, had dinner with them. Peyton's been extra emotional lately, and I think Lucas was really starting to worry."

"Is everything okay with her and the baby?" Nathan's voice had lowered considerably.

Haley pulled back the sheets of their bed, settling in between the cool fabric. "I think so. She seemed much better after I talked to her. Oh!" She perked up. "Peyton was telling me that she and Lucas have a bet on whether the baby is a boy or a girl. Lucas thinks it's going to be a girl, but Peyton thinks it's going to be a boy. I told them I thought it was going to be a boy, too."

"Really?" Nathan seemed thoughtful. "I kind of thought it was going to be a girl."

Haley squirted some lotion onto her hands, rubbing the sweet scent into her legs. "Why's that?"

"I don't know, I guess that's how I pictured it. So I guess Lucas and I were on the same wavelength or something. So what does the winner get?"

"It's more like what does the loser have to do." Haley giggled. "Whoever is wrong has to change the diapers for the first month."

Nathan groaned loudly, "Oh man, Lucas better pray he's right. That's a pretty steep bet."

"That's what I thought! But hearing them talk about it at dinner, they were having so much fun. Lucas has started to call the baby Rufus in hopes of changing Peyton's mind."

"Rufus?" She could all but hear the scowl on Nathan's face. "Is Peyton giving birth to a wrinkly old man?"

Haley laughed, "I don't know, but Peyton's been calling the baby Gertrude to get back at him. Either way, I just hope those names don't stick. I don't want a niece or nephew I have to call Rufus or Gertrude."

"That's true. But we could always give the kid a hip nickname. Like Trudy. That could work. Except you can't really do that with Rufus, otherwise we'd call him Rufie, and I don't think Lucas or Peyton want their child to be named after a date rape drug." Nathan laughed loudly.

"Oh god, how horrible!" Haley joined in with Nathan's laughter. "I didn't even think of that!"

Nathan grinned, "Make sure you let me tell Lucas that. I can't wait to burst his bubble." As his laughter subsided, she heard his voice take on a new tone. "What are you doing right now?"

Haley settled back into the pillows. "I'm about to go to sleep. It's almost eleven. I was just about to watch the news, get my daily dose of the doom and gloom. Why, what are you doing?"

"Not much, just wishing I was there with you." His voice was low.

Haley sighed, "I wish you were here too. I miss you. How much longer until you come home?"

"Only five more days, and I miss you too Hales." Nathan wished he was beside her, touching her. "This trip has seemed harder than all the other ones."

"I know what you mean. I've been missing you like crazy. I keep wandering into rooms, hoping you'll be sitting in one of the chairs. It's too quiet here without you."

Nathan smiled, "I can think of a way to make a little noise."

Haley gasped, "Nathan!"

"Come on Hales, I miss you. I know we can think of a way to miss each other a little less." He spoke softly, hoping for a certain kind of affect.

She let out a shaky breath, "I don't know Nate."

He grinned, knowing she needed a little encouragement. "I wish I was there with you Hales, my lips just mere inches away from yours. I'd slide my hands to cup your jaw as my tongue met yours. I love kissing you Haley, just feeling your breath come a little faster, you mouth moving under mine. Sometimes I think I could spend all day kissing you, because each time we kiss it's a little bit different. When you slide your tongue against mine, I can barely stand it."

He heard her sharp intake of breath, and decided to press on. "I love how soft you are beneath my hands. You have the smoothest skin and I love feeling your legs tangled with mine. I just want to touch you."

"I want you to touch me too." Haley spoke softly, but Nathan could hear the heat in her words.

"Where do you want me to touch you Hales? Do you want me to slide my hands over your shoulders, pull off your shirt?" His own hands moved down his body.

"Oh god, please Nathan." She bit out a rough moan.

Nathan felt his own breathing quicken. "Your skin is the perfect shade Haley, like sweet cream. And when you blush, I want my mouth to trace all that delicious pink, to dive into you."

Haley moaned louder, and he could only imagine the picture she created. He rubbed at himself, hoping to relieve a bit of tension his own words and her reactions were creating.

A quick knock interrupted his thoughts and had him letting a low stream of curses go. "Shit, Hales, I think my room service is here."

He wasn't sure she had heard him, as he heard her breathing continue to quicken through the phone. Thoughts of her in their bed, touching herself flashed in his head and he struggled to think of something else to help relieve the tension in him.

The knock at the door came once more, and this time was accompanied by the standard, "Room service."

"I'm coming." He struggled to get the words out, hoping they reached outside the door.

From the phone Haley's tone was lower, and hotter than he could remember in a long time. "Oh god, I am too Nathan."

Groaning, he felt the strain in his pants and knew there was no way he could open the door without embarrassing himself. Moving gingerly towards the door, he spoke up. "Could you just leave the food in the hall? I just got out of the shower."

He could hear the cart being arranged by his door before the clerk answered. "Certainly, sir. Please let us know if anything is missing and we'll get it down to you. Have a good night."

Nathan let out a long sigh, "Thank you!"

Settling the phone back against his ear, he could hear her breathy moans and knew she was finishing what he had started.

Five days.

"I was going to get you courtside tickets if I could, but with my mom and Dan coming now, and Keith and Karen, I decided on a box." Nathan spoke up from beside Lucas as they played NBA Live.

Lucas nodded as his player went in for a lay-up. "That sounds good. Mom and Keith are really excited to be going. Thanks for getting them tickets."

"No problem. I'm glad they'll be there. Haley gets so nervous at games; it will help if there are more people to distract her." Nathan watched as his team scored anther three-pointer.

"That's definitely true. But all the major sports reporters have been talking about the team this year. I hope it's not stressing you out too much." Lucas turned to look at his brother.

Shaking his head, Nathan paused the game. "No more than any other year. I always go into every year hoping it's the year we'll take the whole thing, so that's nothing new. Though hearing everyone else talk about our chances makes it a little bigger, but I can't focus on that. I have to just know we're a good team and we're going to give it our best each and every game. I can't do any more than that."

Lucas smiled, "Well I'm glad Nate. Because you know how Haley starts to worry every time the season starts back up. She doesn't like seeing you stressed out. Not if she can help it."

"Yeah, I know. But she and I have been talking about the team a lot recently, and she knows how I feel. I think she's more concerned that all the stuff with us trying to have a baby is going to affect my game. But I have to tell you Luke, all those unresolved feelings, those feelings I couldn't place, they're coming out on the court. And I think it's giving me an outlet I didn't have before. I'm hoping that means I'll be stronger for Haley." Nathan leaned back against the cushions of the couch.

"You already are strong Nate. I can't imagine how I'd be dealing with it if I was in your shoes, and Haley knows that too. The two of you are both handling this much better than I think I could or most people, for that matter. Give yourself a break." Luke smiled at his brother.

"Thanks Luke." Nathan smiled. "Now quite distracting me, I believe I was kicking your ass at NBA Live."

The final minutes of the game slowly ticked away, and Haley found herself nervously pacing the skybox. The Bobcats were up by 8, and Nathan was having a strong game, but she felt that familiar tension in her stomach. No matter how many games she watched, or how many seasons he played, Haley always found herself anxious during games. And with all the pressure of their home life, she knew the weight he carried was even heavier than usual.

Watching him now, she knew he was completely in the game, all outside worry gone. He was leading the team in rebounds and assists, and was near perfect at the free-throw line. She knew he would be pleased with his performance tonight, but hoped the team would keep the lead to make it perfect opening night.

Haley glanced up at the clock again, saw the dozen seconds that remained in the game, and kept her eyes focused on his form. He was bent over, arms outstretched to block any type of pass, his eyes narrowed. She watched as he shifted, almost imperceptibly changing directions as he caught the other player off guard. Stealing the ball, he moved back down the court, running out the remaining seconds on the clock. The crowd around them counted down as time ran out, and the arena erupted in cheers. The team clapped each other on the back, congratulating each other on the victory, before making their way down the tunnel and undoubtedly to the locker room.

Deb came up from behind Haley to give her daughter-in-law a hug. "Nathan played wonderfully tonight."

Haley smiled, happy to see the pride that flushed Deb's face. "He did, didn't he? The whole team did really."

"That's true, but Nathan especially. I'm so glad I was here to see it in person." Deb grinned.

"I am too. It's not very often that we all get to watch together. Usually Lucas and I come to the games, or sometimes I watch at home. I get so nervous, it's hard to watch." Haley rocked forward on her toes, bouncing a little.

Deb looked out at the emptying arena. "I was nervous too, and I've been watching him play since he was five. I don't think I'll ever stop being nervous."

"What a great game!" Karen came over to join them. "That was so much fun. I'm so glad Keith and I were able to come."

Haley grinned at Karen, "We are too. Nathan was afraid he wouldn't be able to get a box for the first game of the season, but I'm glad he did. It made it more fun."

"Definitely." Karen laughed. "I could get used to this whole skybox thing. Catered food, a bar. This is how you should always watch a basketball game."

Deb laughed beside her, "I agree."

Keith walked over to join them, "Are you still talking about the skybox?" He wrapped an arm around Karen's waist.

Karen laughed, "I can't help it. I love it." Turning towards Haley, she spoke kindly, "Please make sure to tell Nathan how wonderful he played. It was so much fun to watch."

"He really did have an amazing game. If the team continues like this, they'll have a great season ahead of them." Keith grinned.

"I'll make sure to tell him. He should be really happy tonight." Haley smiled.

Karen looked at Keith. "I think we're going to head back to the hotel. We have to leave first thing in the morning for Tree Hill." She gave Haley a tight hug. "Thank you for inviting us. We had a blast."

Haley squeezed her back, equally tight. "Thank you for coming."

"I'm going to head home too." Deb spoke up. "I'll see you both next week for dinner, right?"

Haley nodded, hugging Deb. "We'll be there. Let me know if I can bring anything."

Deb nodded, slinging her purse over her shoulder and moving to walk out with Keith and Karen.

"Haley." Dan spoke up from behind her.

"Hi Dan. Did you enjoy the game?" Haley smiled briefly at her father-in-law.

"I did. Nathan had a great game. Make sure you tell him so." His eyes glanced at his watch. "Thank you both for inviting me to the game. It was great to see him play."

Haley smiled genuinely. "I'm glad you could make it. I know Nathan was excited to have his family all here."

Dan smiled back, "Well I do appreciate it. Hopefully we can find some time to get together for dinner." He sent a meaningful look at Lucas who stood a few feet away with Peyton. "All of us."

Following his gaze, Haley smiled. "I think we can do that. We'll give you a call."

Nodding once, Dan smiled briefly before saying a quick goodbye to Lucas and Peyton.

"What a great game!" Peyton bounced happily as the three of them left the skybox to head towards the locker room.

Haley grinned beside her. "It really was. I'm so glad he had such a strong game. That will make him feel better."

"Well he should. That was the best I've seen him play in a long time. Even better than the playoffs last year." Lucas spoke up. "I'm sure the press will be wanting to talk to him tonight."

They made their way down to the locker room level and waited a ways outside the door, seeing a large group of reporters waiting for exiting players. Each time the door opened, the reporters surged forward, questions fresh on their lips.

Ten minutes later, the door opened quickly and Nathan emerged, his hair wet from his shower, his suit jacket hung over his arm, his shirt open at the collar. He caught sight of them above the heads of the reporters and sent them a smile, before focusing on the microphones and tape recorders in front of him.

"Nathan! What are your expectations for this season?"

Nathan spoke clearly, "I think we have an excellent team this year. We've gotten some new players who have added a great deal of energy to the team, and we've still got a great foundation from last year. I think you're looking at a team that is poised to have a great season. We'll take it one game at a time, but I expect great things this season."

"What about tonight's game, how do you feel you played individually?"

"I'm really happy with my game tonight. We had a lot of players put in big numbers, and it really was a team win. As for my contributions, I like to think I had a pretty solid game. My goal was to try and dominate on rebounds, which I think I was pretty successful with. Overall, the team played well, and I'm proud of our win."

Nathan smiled over at Haley, giving her a quick wink. "Thanks guys." He moved between them, making his way to where Haley, Lucas, and Peyton stood.

One reporter's voice followed him, "Nathan! What about the reports that you and your wife are having difficulty getting pregnant? That you're looking into fertility treatments? Any truth to that?"

Haley felt everything inside her stiffen as the words rolled over her. She could feel Peyton grip her hand, offering support. She could see Nathan's eyes meet hers, watching her face. She blinked rapidly and held her quivering lip between her teeth.

When Nathan turned, his eyes were cold, the earlier joyfulness gone. His voice was like steel, the words calm but biting. "My family's personal business is just that, personal. I am not going to comment on anything regarding my private life. I'd appreciate the courtesy for my wife's sake, and my own. Thank you."

He turned back to Haley, his steps quicker to reach her side. He grabbed her hand, leaning down to press a kiss to her still trembling lips, and she felt his strength surround her. Pulling back to look in her eyes, he gave her a slow nod, and she nodded back, silently reassuring him.

They turned to walk, Lucas and Peyton falling on either side of them as if to buffer them from the earlier words, their steps sounding on the cement floor. Pushing open the side door, they walked to the players' parking lot, climbing into Nathan's SUV. No one spoke as Nathan drove around to drop Lucas and Peyton at their car in an adjoining lot.

Peyton opened her car door, moving slowly to stand. Before she closed the door, she spoke quietly, her words soft. "We love you both."

Nathan turned in his seat to look at the blonde. "We love you guys too." He smiled sadly, and Peyton nodded, closing the door behind her with a quiet click.

They drove home in silence, neither knowing what words to say, how to put their feelings correctly. Nathan parked the car in the garage and wordlessly followed Haley slowly upstairs to their room, the moonlight from the open curtain the only light in the room.

Nathan spoke the words that had been running through his mind. "I'm so sorry."

Haley turned towards him, her eyes kind. "You have no reason to apologize Nathan. You didn't do anything."

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Nathan ran a hand through his hair. "I know, but I can't help feeling some blame in this. I should have known something like this could happen. I should have shielded you from this. I hate that you heard it."

Haley moved to stand in front of him, her hands reaching down to raise his chin until his eyes were on hers. "This is not your fault, and we have nothing to be ashamed of. Yes, it was horrible to hear that reporter ask that question. And I hate that you had to answer it, but it's a fact of our life. I'm not ashamed of the fact that I want to have a family with you, and if that means we have to go through fertility treatments, then so be it. I won't let a reporter turn that into bad thing. It might be in every paper tomorrow, but that doesn't matter, because when it comes down to it, it's just about you and me trying to start a family, and that's something I will never feel bad about."

Wrapping his arms around her waist, he brought his head to rest between her breasts. "You amaze me Haley. I don't know how you can be so strong about this."

Haley settled herself in his lap, her lips pressing a kiss to his jaw, his cheek, his mouth. "I love you Nathan, and I love the fact that we're doing all we can to have a family. No amount of reporters or questions is going to change that."

"I love you Haley." Nathan's hands spread low along her back, pulling her tighter into him as he laid them back along the bed. They moved slowly, taking their time in removing clothing, savoring the feeling of their skin sliding against each other, their hands moving to caress.

When the air turned quiet, Haley slid her hand in his, their fingers laced, their legs intertwined. She felt the calm surround them, felt the quiet envelop them, and dreamed of a new day.


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

"I think we should talk to Dr. Franco about in vitro."

Nathan's body tensed at Haley's words. "Are you sure?"

Haley moved to sit beside him on the couch, her face tense. "I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Nathan, it's been months since I've been on clomiphene and we haven't had any luck. I really want this to work, but I think we need to move on to a stronger option. I want to talk to Dr. Franco about stepping up our attempts."

"Didn't he say there were some other things we could try before we had to jump to in vitro?" Nathan leaned back against the couch, his eyes on the ceiling.

Haley nodded, "Yes. And I do want to try everything, but I don't want to wait another 4 months trying something that might not work. I know I've been pretty patient, but I want a baby. I want your baby. And I feel like we're just treading water. We're not making any progress and it's just lost time."

Nathan grabbed Haley's hand, wrapping his fingers around hers. "I know. Maybe you're right. Maybe it is time to step it up. Do you want to make an appointment?"

"I called his office earlier. I was able to get us in tomorrow at 10am." Haley gave him a smile.

"Alright, tomorrow at 10, we'll talk to Dr. Franco and see what our next step is." Pulling her closer to his side, they settled further into the couch, their minds riddled with thoughts of hope.

***

"I can understand your frustrations. And I know we haven't seen the results we've wanted, but we do have other options." Dr. Franco looked up from their chart, his glasses sliding down his nose. With a quick gesture he righted them, giving them a reassuring smile.

Haley again felt more secure in the hands of their doctor. The situation was stressful enough, but she always felt more hopeful after their appointments with Dr. Franco. "What do you think would be the best next step?"

Leaning back in his office chair, he gave them a long look. "I know that most people want to jump to in vitro, but we do have other things we can try before we settle on that procedure. In vitro is a viable option, but it is also a lengthy, costly procedure and I recommend we try another option first. Now, when we first met, I told you that clomiphene was the best option in pill form, but I think we should look into fertility shots."

Nathan grimaced. "What does that entail?"

"Well, the fertility shots are called Human Menopausal Gonadotropins and most doctors recommend it only if clomiphene does not work. They work for seven to twelve days and it will prompt your ovaries, Haley, to produce several eggs, whereas you normally produce only one a month. After you receive those shots, you'll be injected with another substance called Human Chorionic Gonadotropin, which will tell your ovaries to release your mature eggs into your fallopian tubes. If an egg meets up with a healthy sperm on its way to your uterus, you'll have a chance to conceive." He gave them a reassuring smile. "You'll start receiving HMG shots three days into your monthly menstrual cycle and continue taking them for seven to 12 days each month, depending on how long it takes your eggs to mature."

"Would I give myself the shots?" Haley spoke up, her voice clear.

"I will train you or Nathan to give the shots. I'll also monitor you closely to see whether you're responding to the medication, Haley. When your eggs are mature, you'll be given an HCG injection. You'll most likely ovulate 24 to 36 hours later. That's when would be the optimum time to conceive. Now, we can try this for 3 to 6 months, but I want to tell you success rates don't improve if you take the drugs longer, so if we try this for three or more times and don't get pregnant, I may increase the dosage or we can begin looking into further options."

"So this is what you would recommend for our next step?" Nathan did not relish the idea of having to give Haley shots.

Dr. Franco nodded. "Yes, I think it is the logical next step. Now, I know that the prospect of fertility shots is not pleasant, not for you Haley who has to get them, or you Nathan, who will help give them. But I think it would be the best idea. What are you both thinking?"

"I'm going to be honest. I'm not thrilled with the idea of giving Haley shots, but if that's our best option, then I'll do whatever I can. Unfortunately, I go on road trips a lot, so I'm not always around. How do you feel Haley? About everything?" Nathan turned to look at her and saw the familiar look of resolve on her pretty face and knew her answer before she ever opened her mouth.

"I'm ready. I appreciate that Nathan will help me, but I want to learn how to do it as well. And since Nathan will be on the road sometimes, if it's necessary, I'll go on the road trips too. I want a baby, and I'm ready for the next step to get us there. Whatever that may be. I'm willing to try every option." Her eyes never wavered from Dr. Franco's.

"Alright, then I'll write up a prescription and I'll show you both how to administer the shots." He stood up. "I admire you both for the resolve you've shown. I hope this is the treatment that works."

***

Nathan bounced the ball steadily against the pavement, his mind clearing with each bounce. Haley had been on the fertility shots for a month now, and no matter how many times he gave her the dose, he never got used to the sick feeling that settled in his stomach as he slid the needle into her. She never let on if it hurt, but he had seen the bruise around the puncture mark, and knew it couldn't have been pleasant.

What was worse was their sex life was somewhat robotic now, Haley only wanting to have sex when it was the optimum time, and even then, it was as if the romance had been lost with each visit to Dr. Franco's office. They had always had a healthy sex life, but with each month that passed it dwindled until their infrequent moments together were merely a race to the end. He missed how they used to be.

Haley, however, still remained upbeat about the whole situation. This new procedure seemed to reinvigorate her hope, and he wished he could gain even one percent of her optimism.

He turned to shoot the ball, the rubber ball reverberating solidly against the backboard before sliding through the net. He darted to retrieve the ball, swinging around to shoot again.

Tomorrow, his team was going on a 5 game road trip to California and Haley had already planned on tagging along so she could see Quinn when they were in the Bay Area. Now, because of the shots and timing, she definitely was going along. He was always glad to have her on road trips and he hoped that seeing Quinn would help relieve some stress that he was sure she was keeping bottled up.

Thankfully, Lucas and Peyton had been really supportive. Relying on family had made this whole situation easier, and it assuaged his guilt some when he did have to leave, knowing that Haley had the two of them to lean on. Peyton, who was growing with each month, was nearing her 8th month and already looked as if she was going to pop. Haley had been wrapping herself in plans for the upcoming baby shower, and he knew having something else on her mind was helping her deal with everything. Their dining room table was currently stacked high with decorations and lists.

And while he hoped these shots got them pregnant, he wasn't sure if he could take the stress of in vitro. He knew he wanted a child with Haley, and he was willing to try just about everything, but these constant doctors appointments and drugs and sadness were weighing on him. And as strong as she was, he knew it must be affecting Haley too.

"Hey!" Lucas's voice came from behind him where he came walking up their drive.

Nathan passed him the ball, which Lucas caught effortlessly and slid into a perfect jump shot. "Hey man. What are you doing here?"

Lucas shrugged, "Thought I'd come over and see you guys before you left for California. You ready for the road trip?"

"Yeah the team is ready. The Lakers will be the hardest team, but I think our new defense system should give them trouble."

"And you're seeing Quinn while you guys are in San Francisco?"

Nathan nodded, "I think Haley planned on spending the day with Quinn and then they're coming to the Golden State game. It'll be good to see her. It's been at least a year since we have."

Lucas looked thoughtful, "And how's everything else?"

Letting out a long breath, Nathan went back to bouncing the ball. "It's okay. Nothing's changed, but we're hopeful this will be the treatment that works. I got to tell you man, when Haley and I first started talking about having a baby, we did not anticipate how hard this was going to be. I never imagined our life would be like this. I've never been so frustrated in my entire life Luke. I mean, seeing Haley so hopeful, and then seeing that hope diminished every month. It's heartbreaking."

"I can't even begin to imagine what you two are going through. All I can do is be supportive and let you both know we're here for you. And if we can do anything, we'll do it."

"Thanks man. You know we love you both. How's Peyton feeling?" Nathan switched the conversation, no longer wanting to think about their problems.

Lucas switched gears easily, "She's doing well. We went to the doctor's yesterday and she's right on schedule. The baby's heartbeat is strong and they're both healthy."

"That's great Luke. Did you guys find out if it's a boy or a girl yet?"

"No, remember we have that bet. Peyton still thinks it's a boy, and I think it's a girl. We're waiting until the birth. We want to be surprised. Though I have to be honest, I've been tempted to call the doctor and just find out. Peyton is not backing down. She keeps calling the baby Gertrude. It's horrible. I'm afraid she's starting to actually like the name."

Nathan laughed, "That's right! Little Trudy or Rufie."

"Rufie?" Lucas laughed.

"Haley told me you guys were calling the baby Gertrude and Rufus. You have to admit, Trudy's a better nickname than Rufie." Nathan laughed at the look that crossed Lucas's face.

***

"Thirteen seconds left on the clock and Richmond passes the ball in bound to Scott. Scott dribbles up the sidelines. He's got Jenkins and Vander low under the hoop. The Bobcats need a three pointer to win…" The sound around her faded as she watched Nathan from her seat next to Quinn. He was having the game of his life, putting up more rebounds and points than ever in his career. Pride fluttered in her chest as the seconds ticked by slowly, the ball rocketing back and forth between the players. The ball ended in Nathan's hands, the time all but gone and he shot, the ball falling in a perfect arc before sliding through the net.

The fans around them groaned as she and Quinn cheered. She was used to sitting amongst fans from the other team and no longer heard the names or expletives hurled their way. The team was all circled, congratulating each other on the hard fought game. Nathan's eyes searched the stadium before they settled on her and the smile that broke across his face said it all.

"That was an awesome game!" Quinn sat exuberantly beside her, a half finished beer in her hand. "Nathan was on fire."

Haley laughed, "He really was! I haven't seen him play like that since the college championships. I'm glad you got to see this game."

"Me too!" They stood as the stadium slowly began to file out, the disappointed fans sent home with a loss. "I haven't been to a game in ages, probably since the last time you guys came to town. But I try to follow the league in support of my brother in law. Who was awesome!" She threw a fantastic smile at Haley.

"Well we appreciate it! I know Nathan would love to hear that." They walked down to the locker room, to wait for Nathan to emerge. "I love when his team comes to California, so I can see you, especially since I never seem to be able to get you out to us."

Quinn laughed, "What can I say, photography keeps me busy. But I promise I'm going to make a concerted effort to plan a trip out to see you. I really am."

"You better. I want to see you more than just once a year when Nathan's team comes through town."

Nathan emerged from the locker room then, his hair glistening darkly from the quick shower. He smelled of rich aftershave and he leaned over to give Quinn a hug. "I'm so glad you came. Did you have a good time?"

Quinn smiled brightly, "Are you kidding? I had a blast! You were awesome."

"Thanks." Nathan smiled before leaning over to give Haley a quick kiss. "Hey honey."

"Hey." Haley grinned. "You guys feel up to a late dinner. I know you've got to be hungry Nate."

Nathan patted his stomach, "Yeah I could definitely eat. Quinn?"

"I know the perfect place."

***

"These may be the best garlic fries I've ever had!" Haley dipped another into a dollop of ketchup.

Quinn nodded, "I found this place my first week in the city. I've been a regular ever since. And trust me; every thing on the menu is fantastic."

Nathan spoke around his mouth-watering burger, "I literally cannot put this down."

Haley and Quinn broke into a fit of giggles.

"I'm serious. I don't want this burger to end. Is it the cheese? The crisp lettuce? Whatever it is, I'm loving it." Nathan took another large bite.

"I miss you guys." Quinn smiled. "I need to come out and visit. I'm sorry I keep putting it off. Plus, Haley told me Lucas and Peyton are having a baby. I'll try and plan a visit after the baby's born."

"You should! They would love to see you." Haley grinned at her sister.

"So, how's everything with you guys? How's the fertility stuff?"

Haley's smile dimmed slightly but her voice stayed hopeful. "It's been hard, but right now I'm on fertility shots. The original medicine our doctor put me on didn't work, so we've moved on to the shots. If that doesn't work, I think we'll look into in vitro."

Quinn nodded and sent Haley a sympathetic smile, "I can't even imagine how hard it's been for you guys. Does that mean you have to give her the shots Nathan?"

Swallowing his last bite of burger, Nathan took a long pause. "Yeah. It's not something I love, but if it helps us have a baby, I'm willing to do it. It was hard to do in the beginning, but I think it gets a little easier each time."

"Well I think it's going to work. You guys are meant to be parents. Anyone who knows you at all can see that." Quinn reached across the table to give Haley's hand a squeeze.

"Thank you Quinn. I keep thinking that all we're going through is just going to make when we have a baby even better. No one is going to love our child more than us. That I'm sure of."

***

"Have I ever told you how much I love it when you come on road trips with us?" Nathan stretched out beside her. "I love playing in a different arena, knowing you're in the stands somewhere cheering me on."

Haley ran her hand along Nathan's stomach. "I love coming on them too. Not to mention there's something sexy about staying in a hotel together."

Nathan rolled over to look her in the eye. His hand moved to push her hair behind her ear. "Hotels with you are very sexy."

His mouth slid hotly along hers, and he held her as if he was never going to let her go, his hands on her everywhere, kissing her for long minutes until she was dizzy and aching for him. She shuddered at the feel of him hard against her as she pressed closer and that made her moan.

He was heavy on top of her, and she wrapped her legs around him, arching against all that hard muscle and lean length, pressing back with no hesitation at all. She did all she could to get closer as his mouth moved down her neck and his hands slid under her shirt. Haley raked her nails down his back and he held her down, kissing her so hard that her blood pounded in her ears.

"I've missed this Haley." Nathan's voice was rough in her ears.

He pulled her shirt off her, letting his fingers slide against her skin. His hands were hard on her hips, his mouth hot on her breast, and she dissolved into the blurred tangle they made, losing her boundaries as he moved against her, feeling only heat and friction as she twisted beneath him.

***

She stood staring, not moving from her spot. She had dreamed of this moment, had envisioned it thousands of times and yet it only held one-millionth of the happiness and exuberance that the true moment held. She felt hundreds of different feelings, love and faith, hope and anxiety, all swirling together as her eyes studied the lines.

Two pink lines.

She blinked. Once. Twice. The pink lines stayed, unfaltering, unwavering. Her fingers trembled as she picked up the box, read the instructions for what must have been the 10th time, the truth confirmed.

She was pregnant.

The months of trying, the medicines, the shots, the heartache, the worry, the sadness all seemed to melt away and all she felt was pure happiness.

"Hales." Nathan called from the other side of the bathroom door. "You all packed up? Tommy just called and said most of the team is downstairs ready to go to the airport."

Haley stared at the door, unable to speak up, her eyes still locked on the test.

"Hales?" He pushed open the door, his eyes questioning. She watched his eyes roam across her face, reading the shock she knew was written all over her face, until they settled on the test in her hands.

His eyes flicked up to hers, his expression hopeful.

She needed no words, couldn't find them even if she had, for the smile that broke out across her face said it all. In two steps he was enveloped around her and test had clattered to the ground beside them. He folded himself around her, their bodies tight.

The two lines all but shimmering with promise at their feet.


End file.
